Posts by Jason Hu

As I miss my flight and get stranded in Boston head home for the summer, I figured this was a good time for my end-of-the-year-post. Much like Sam did last year, here are life lessons, musings, and observations I’ve acquired (notice orgo is not on the list).

But first, a recap of things worth reiterating from our previous post:

1. Spend as much time as possible outdoors during the four months (give or take) of bearable weather.
3. Balance your Blue Room and Ratty/V-Dub, or you may end up with 0 points and 150 meal credits on April 29th.
17. Do not be ashamed of S/NC.
23. Meet a lot of people during orientation (“meet” is not a euphemism for “hook up with”).
38. Go to random lectures. Otherwise, you’ll never know how interesting the disciplinary battle between literary arts and English truly is (and how a Bakhtin scholar has the authority to make that judgment).

As for me…

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You need to study, but you still want to experience the vicarious pleasure of a killer Drinco Cinco de Mayo. You planned to bring out that sombrero in your closet, only to be derailed by a 12-page paper.

Good news: The blog Thought Catalog has released a choose-your-own-adventure for this fifth of May. Now you can relive those shoddy literary experiences provided by your elementary school library and embark on your very own fictional Cinco de Mayo adventure.

How will your story go? Will it end with a tequila hangover, a truel with treasure on the line, or a culturally insensitive dinner at Taco Bell? Find out for yourself.

Stressed out about writing your POLS1130 (The American Presidency) paper? Barely remember high school APUSH? Supporting the claim that there is a Tumblr for almost anything, Presidential Pickup Lines has got you covered…and will make you LOL.

Innuendos about Watergate, Roosevelt’s big stick, and trickle-down economics abound. Finally: Now you can feel (somewhat) educated while you giggle at penis jokes. Who could’ve known that the combination of old white men and sexy times would work so well?

Brown students aren’t known for being particularly religious (although students definitely adhere to the Church of Whisko or the Gospel of CFF). But as finals come upon us, and we rummage up those crumpled notes beneath the Natty cans, Brunonians become downright spiritual.

How does reading period bring out the convert in all of us? Let me count the ways:

1. Everyone says that they “observe reading period.”

There are many things we can observe in life. Stars. A drunken brawl. That cute boy in class through binoculars from behind the bushes at midnight. But there are only two ways to observe an extended period of time: Do it religiously, or transcend time and space (in which case, you might stand a chance in PHYS0160. Maybe).

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Puppies, everywhere!

Health Education and Health Services held Heavy Petting on the Main Green, when Brown staff and faculty brought their dogs to school for the petting/making-silly-noises benefit of the student body.

Held once or twice a semester, Heavy Petting helps relief the stress of upcoming final exams, papers and projects.

Better hurry: The dogs are only here from 11:30 to 1:00.

The Hunger Games movie is coming out this Friday, and to say we’re excited is a bit of an understatement. We’ve listened to the soundtrack, watched the trailers (five times), and even have begun to play the game “RISD outfit or Capitol citizen?”

To celebrate our age-inappropriate excitement for the wholesale, post-apocalyptic slaughter of adolescents, BlogDH reimagines the world of District 12 here on College Hill:

It’s sometime in the indefinite future. Brown’s endowment is gone, and to make money, the Corporation has started The Housing Games—a nationally televised event where Americans can feed their schadenfreude and watch freshman Ivy Leaguers fight to the death.

But freshmen eagerly look forward to the competitions: awaiting everyone in the winner’s dorm is priority housing, early registration, and 500 flex points.

So fame, mortal danger, and a whole lot of Blue Room sandwiches lie ahead.

May the odds ever be in your favor, and let the Housing Games begin!

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Don’t want to do laundry or eat at the Ratty? Then remember that today’s the day to drop by Mama Kim’s food truck — in celebration of the truck’s one year anniversary, Mama Kim’s is giving out a free t-shirt with each order! #swag

The Beast

Staff writer Jason Hu decided to try the Ratty Challenge last Saturday for science and shitsandgiggles. To read the first half of his journey of self-discovery/self-loathing, click here. 

3:30 – 4:30: Everything is sticky

I feel gross. After too much time in the Ratty, or any dining hall, you are covered with a thin layer of sticky. Grease? Aerosolized onion rings? The accumulated BO of a few hundred college students? Who knows? Either way, I feel like the Ratty tables. I never thought I’d learn how to empathize with a piece of furniture.

I went outside and it smelled funny: I couldn’t tell whether it was because I was smelling fresh air or because it smelled funny.

It’s like being at the CIT too long.

Either way, I’m going to go start homework. Eventually. Maybe.

Things overheard: “Sober at the Ratty buh, buh, buhbuhbuh.”
One conversation which went through cafeteria Judaism, reasons for vegetarianism, and Chinese imperial history.
“I didn’t know they had cities in Africa!”
“Would you rather give up all cheese or oral sex for the rest of your life?”
“Lana del Rey might be a drag queen.”
CS22 Problems finished: 2.5
Orgo progress: 0 percent
Food quality: 8/10 (Eggplant Parmesan and Black Bean Patties? Yes please!)
Cumulative bathroom breaks: 3
Duration I’ve had “We Are Young” by Fun stuck in my head: 27 minutes [Read more →]

It’s time for the challenge.

No, not the cinnamon challenge, or the saltine cracker one, or even the SciLi challenge. Trust me: Those posts would end poorly for everyone (mainly for me, who would be moaning “oh god, the humanity” while rolling on the floor).

It’s time for the Ratty Challenge: spending all day in the lovely Sharpe Refractory with nothing but me, my homework, and lots of creeping people-watching to pass the time. What will I learn? Life lessons? Organic chemistry? The secret recipe for those black bean patties?

Probably none of the above. Oh well, at the very least I’ll steal a bunch of fruit.

7:30 – 8:30: Overslept

So … I’m off to a good start. Groggily hitting the alarm on my phone, rolling out of bed, —what is this, a class? Touché, Ratty. Touché.

All points considered, though, I think I’m doing pretty well for a weekend. I don’t see you waking up early on your Saturday morning for the sake of dicking around journalism.

Ratty: 1 Jason: 0
Homework completed: 0 percent

8:30 – 9:30: Breakfast alone

There’s nothing wrong with eating alone, but of all the meals, I think breakfast is the most socially acceptable meal to eat alone.  If you’re sitting by yourself with a bowl of Cocoa Puffs (I see you, guy in sweats and using chocolate milk as milk) and stare pensively off into the distance, people assume you’re planning about conquering the day and thinking big life questions like “Who am I?” and “Why isn’t the Blue Room blue?”

They totally don’t know you’re pondering what kind of cats you want when you grow up.

Completely unrelated though, that cute guy who always serves you a sandwich in the Blue Room walked in. Be chill Jason, ‘cause breakfast at 9:15 is totally an appropriate time to try and pick up guys.

Battery left: 80 percent
Homework completed: 0 percent
Time spent online: 32 minutes (15 minutes tumblr) [Read more →]

Want to wear some Mama Kim’s (without spilling beef bulgogli on yourself)?

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of the food cart, Mama Kim’s is giving away a free t-shirt with a purchase of any meal Friday March 16. Free clothing and sliders? Yes, please!

Image via.