How Not to be a Freshman: The one with the awkward encounters


Have you ever had one of those weekends where so many weird things happen in a short amount of time that none of it seems plausible? Like, anything that could possibly happen does happen. My Saturday night started out simply enough. I went to the Red, White, and Booze party and was stirred by all the patriotic pride. The jello shots and abundance of Taylor Swift songs didn’t hurt either. The night was still young when I headed to another party … and that’s where things got dicey.

I was at this party where I introduced myself to this guy. We were conversing casually until, in my drunken stupor, I realized he was one of my Tinder matches. I know we’ve seen the dangers and hilarity that ensue in Tinder flirting, but no one has warned us about the awkwardness of actually bumping into a Tinder match in real life. I almost always “like” every person who goes to Brown because, I figure, why not? Tinder is thoroughly entertaining and allows people to make snap judgments about others based on their aesthetic appeal.

Which is actually kind of demeaning when you think about it. Continue Reading

New Semester’s Resolutions: Pros and cons


Each new term brings with it a world of possibility, which is only heightened by the start of a new year. Plus, 2013 has proved to be shockingly awesome already, only furthering my delusions of grandeur. I mean, Destiny’s Child got back together, so that’s a dream come true; JT is releasing new music, meaning he maybe realized acting is um, not as much his thing; a TEMPLE RUN 2 CAME OUT; Kim and Kanye got pregnant to entertain us; and there are new salad containers at Jos which may look smaller but they’re not—they actually allow for much better dressing distribution (!). It seems that the world is becoming more and more perfect.

Thus, we have no choice but to make new semester’s resolutions. Luna Lovebad is about to share with you hers, and I’ll explain why I am incapable of keeping any.

Continue Reading

How Not to be a Freshman: Love is in the air


Hello, readers!  It’s good to be back. After succumbing to Mono this winter break, I’ve had a lot of time to watch movies, go through multiple TV series, read some weird self-help dating books, and bake. I basically became an old spinster over break.  Pathetic? Slightly, but you try having Mono over Christmas.

At home, I met up with old friends and heard about their escapades, problems, and new boyfriends. In fact, I spent one evening listening to my friend drone on endlessly about her beau who almost told her he loved her. Ew. The only thing preventing me from gauging my eyes out with my fork was the chocolate cake that was on its way. Another friend was engaging in a “Friends with Benefits” type thing but secretly wanted more. As I listened to their relationship problems, I reveled in the fact that I had none of my own. I was single and free and boy, it felt good. Continue Reading

How Not to be a Freshman: Let’s just be friends

About a month ago, readers, a fling of mine ended.  Now, this courtship lasted a month, which is pretty good for me considering my less than ideal track record.  I have no hard feelings towards this guy and we even decided to “just be friends.” Now, I’ve had guys say that to me before but, it always means something different.  I’ve even used that line once or twice and not meant exactly what I said. Anyways, it got me thinking, What does that saying mean? 

“Let’s just be friends…because I don’t want to feel like a complete jerk.”  Aaah, yes.  I’ve even been guilty of using those four little words as a way to ease my own conscience.  Rejection, as we all know, sucks.  It sucks when you’re rejecting someone and it’s a bummer when you’re rejected.  Pulling the “friends” card enables us to lighten the burden of breaking a heart.  It’s an easier way of saying goodbye.

“Let’s just be friends…because I want to still keep my options open.”  This is an ulterior motive if I’ve ever seen one.  If your significant other is unsure of his/her feelings but does have a genuine interest in you, saying those four words enables him/her to explore their options while keeping you close by. How convenient. To me, this is basically an “open relationship” and we all know those never turn out well. Continue Reading

How Not to be a Freshman: The one with familial craziness

As I sit here on the train, making my way back home, I am both fearful and excited. I come from a very big, very close Italian family that I love very much. I have a bunch of older cousins who go to various colleges but I’m the only one who hasn’t been home in the past three months. I’m the only one they haven’t seen, talked to, or interrogated. Part of me is dreading Turkey Day because I know that, as the only girl cousin in the family, I will be getting a lot of slack from my male counterparts. For me, Thanksgiving is going to be a crazy, fun-filled shitshow complete with familial bullying, drunk aunts, and the random girls that my cousins feel the need to bring home in their desperate attempts to prove their attractiveness.

Continue Reading

How Not to be a Freshman: The one where I go exploring

This weekend, readers, I did something I’ve never done before since I’ve been at Brown: I left Thayer Street and explored. While Thayer Street is quaint and has its perks, Wickenden Street promises an exciting change from the usual. So fellow freshmen, if you haven’t gotten a chance to explore, now’s the time to do it! We haven’t been hit with the frigid cold that will be a permanent presence in the dead of winter, and by now, most of us are pretty settled with our friends and classes. So grab a few buddies and leave Thayer. Here’s where I’ve been on Wickenden Street:

Sakura: This cozy Japanese restaurant is a hidden gem! The sushi was delicious and I also ordered chicken tempura when I was there. It was fried to perfection and I left satisfied but not disgustingly full. It’s also good for kids on the college budget, as there was nothing outrageously expensive on the menu. Another plus: it’s BYOB (and they don’t card you). I guess they figure if you’re able to procure alcohol, you’re old enough to drink it. Suckers. Definitely check this place out!  Don’t come with a large group though because the restaurant is pretty small and they’ll mess up your checks. Check out the menu here.

Continue Reading