Another year, another twelve months of emotionally detached partners and terrible dates and random makeouts in public parks at 1 a.m. because your roommates won’t let you bring in strangers you met on Grindr anymore.
Now, the big 14th day of the shortest month of year is approaching, and CVS is one big clusterfuck of pink and red and bears and chocolates. I’m perfectly
bitter fine with being single on Valentine’s Day! If you are, welcome to the club! If you’re in a relationship, think about whether you want to marry the person you’re with because we’re at an age where that is highly plausible (like raising kids and attending funerals with them type of commitment)!
V-Day can be pretty depressing for us single phes. Here’s a guide to avoid that this week.
Get off the grid.
I’m not talking about going to the extremes like cutting up your credit cards and moving to a rural town in Wisconsin without cellular service. Just turn off Facebook for a week so you won’t have to see posts gushing about how someone can’t believe they’ve found The One in a sea of 6,000 undergraduates! What a selection pool!
Delete Instagram. You don’t need to know that a couple has chosen to stay in and watch Netflix as their Valentine’s Day date because you’re already doing that! But, alone!
I recommend keeping Venmo to see which couples go dutch on their dates and then start a betting pool with your single friends to see how long they’ll last. Then post your winnings on Venmo.
Take a day trip on your own!
You don’t have to go to New York or Boston. It can be as simple as a walk up Hope Street!
I suggest stopping by Seven Stars Bakery and reading television writer Kristin Newman’s book “What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding.” A single thirtysomething, Newman traveled the world during TV hiatuses and hooked up with Russian bartenders and Latin priests.
Take time and explore another city–or Providence for that matter–without having to bother holding someone’s sweaty hands in this ridiculous and never ending cold weather.