Types of people you see in the rain

The rainy season is upon us. Blame whoever did the rain dance but, much like Shakira’s hips, the squish-squash of your steps don’t lie. Next time you go out, or observe people from your window, take a few moments to observe how your fellow Brunonians deal with the weather.

1. The “I’m cool” people

It’s not even that cold, guys. I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt and am without an umbrella — but I’m still cool. These bumps all over my arms and my legs, they’re not goosebumps. For others they might be referred to as such, but for me, they’re coolbumps.

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A chair-spective on things

The ubiquitous chair. The companion of human laziness since chairs were referred to as “sitting things.” They were around even before the first human to ever sit, ever sat. Probably.

But if only they could speak. Oh, the stories they’d tell.

Luckily, while I was pulling an all-nighter for a midterm, a chair started talking to me.

If you thought Brown students were cool, wait till you hear what Brown chairs have to say.

chair

 

Me: “So, Mr. Chair, how is it like being a chair?”

Chair: *shivers* “All this booty..”

Me: “Do you have a name?”

Chair: “All this booty.”

Me: “…”

Chair: “Sorry about that. Booty got me day-dreamin’.

I guess it’s not all that bad. It pays the bills.

The name’s Fred, by the way.”

Me: “Okay, Fred. Can you stop talking about butts?

My audience may not approve.”

Fred: “Uhm. Rude. It’s literally on my mind every day.

So excuse me.”

Me: “I’m so–”

Fred: “And you know what’s worse?

I’m not even into butts! People just don’t seem to get it.”

Me: “Can I j–”

Fred: “Standing is a social construct.”

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