Crunchy leaves to crushing solo cups: Fall then and now

As we approach the final month of the year, I realized that I dislike months ending in “-ber.” When did this happen? What is the common denominator here?

Fall. Autumn. Whatever.

Join me as I take a good, hard, overly-critical look at some aspects of Fall and see how the beautiful process of maturing has ruined and/or devalued them.

FALLen Leaves:

Then: As a kid, you may remember watching your parents exhibit god-like levels of self-control as you would throw your youthful body into the piles of raked leaves aka the fruits of their labor. Grabbing armfuls of leaves and throwing them into the air/at your siblings was truly joyous. Stepping on a leaf and hearing it crunch beneath your mighty child-sized light-up Kmart sneakers was incredible. You are powerful! Walking is no longer monotonous now that there’s a goal (crushing) and a soundtrack (crunching).

Quick! Someone call AFV!

Now: Ah, yes let me propel my aging body, with all it’s odd aches and markings (all diseased, as per WebMD) into this pile of dead-tree scraps and possibly upward-pointed sticks. Wet leaves, various creepy crawlies, DIRT–who wouldn’t want to catapult themselves into nature’s dumpster??? I was wearing a V-neck the other day and a leaf flew down my shirt. Making eye contact with a passerby as you proudly reveal the leaf you removed from your nonexistent cleavage is just so freakin’ seasonal. Now whenever I wear my knockoff Birkenstocks (#confusingweather) leaves stick to my socks (don’t judge me). Deliberately treading on crunchy leaves? Eh, if you step on a littered Solo cup it makes the same noise.

I feel so young and alive!

Continue Reading


Oh My God I’m Old: Bucket list suggestions for elderly students

For the seniors who are (way too) rapidly approaching graduation, reality occasionally hits and crisis undoubtedly ensues. Have I done enough here at Brown???  I thought I was supposed to be smart by now. Where even is Orwig? I think I forgot to change the world. Oh my god have I missed out on ~*the #socollege experience*~?

And by “spring” and “daffodils” we mean “your last semester” and “graduation.”

But all of this panic can be used in a positive way! Most seniors (and college students in general) know that panic is a great source of energy! So let’s shovel some panic into the motivation-fire and get this engine going so we can chug through this bucket list. We at Blog have already created the ultimate Senior bucket list, but it’s now time to take each challenge to the next level.

(*Note: being a senior is not a necessary part of accomplishing these things. You just have to have that ~senior mindset~.)

This is you shoveling panic.

Continue Reading