Every woman should own at least one good vibrator. And though I’m like a kid in a candy store at a sex shop, I can understand how the experience of shopping for a vibrator may be uncomfortable for first-time buyers. Well, fortunately, we live in a world where purchases can be made online and shipped in discrete packaging. And we live in a world where vibrators have become pretty fucking high tech, too.
So, what are some cool vibrators out there that can be ordered online? Here are a few to look into.
For the exhausted, yet insatiably horny college student: The Little Rooster a.k.a. the vibrator alarm clock. What better way to give your groggy early morning self a boost than with some friendly nether-region pleasure?
For couples: Many women have difficulty achieving orgasm without clitoral stimulation. However, this sad reality is currently in the process of being ameliorated by an indiegogo campaign. You may have read about about this hands-free vibrator already, as it has been flounced across several online media sites; however, the fact that you have not given the $95 to secure one means there is something wrong. It’s called Eva and I could not be more excited for mine to arrive this coming May.
For the person who doesn’t want to spend too much money: I am a fan of any Lelo product, but the fact that they have put their name on a vibrator that’s only $30, the Intimina, means that you’re still going to be getting a high quality crotch rocket. Oh, and it’s waterproof.
For the uber-geek: I love novelty USB drives. A 16GB USB drive that doubles as a vibrator? Yes, please.
We have 364 days of the year to brainstorm costume ideas. Some ideas are seen to fruition and some crash and burn. When I was younger, I was a witch from kindergarten until fourth grade. I wasn’t very creative. In high school, I never transitioned over to buying trashy costumes when all of my friends did – in fact, I bought a banana suit freshman year. However, I did get slightly more creative throughout each year of high school and during my time at Brown by dressing up as a different kind of banana each year. My crowning achievement was the sex-ed banana. No, I’m not kidding – I walked around in a banana suit with a garbage bag rolled up on my head.
Anyway, I like to think that my obsession with this banana suit was some kind of a psycho-sexual-Freudian-thing. I was a sexually repressed teenager who went to a very conservative high school. And what’s happened to me now? I’m a sex writer.
That being said, I’ve done some brainstorming about what I think other people’s costumes mean about their sexuality:
Punny costume: We get it, you think you’re clever. But you also believe in the g-spot and know a thing or two about how to use your tongue.
Group costume: You’re only confident enough to go out with a group of friends. Nevertheless, I see a threesome in your future.
I tend to be attracted to people with the ability to solve differential equations or who thought CS15 was “easy.” Throw in a cute smile and some hipster glasses and my panties will be dropping. But what about when that person happens to be grading your work and running review sessions before midterms? A.K.A. when that person is your TA. Something about how they answer your questions makes you all hot and bothered. So, is it ok to try and get with your TA? As a TA myself, I do enjoy some tactful flirting once in a while. Just don’t be obnoxious. After all, I’ve hooked up someone that I TA’ed.
I’ve also been other side of the scenario. More than once I’ve gone to TA sessions just because I wanted to get an eyeful. I’ve also plotted with friends on how to get my TA to the GCB so I could get them tipsy and then hit on them. I know…shameless. Nevertheless, unless you’re going to be violating the school’s code of academic conduct, I say go for it. Time to get frisky with intellectual authority.
Step One: The first step to get with your TA is to be doing well in the class. They clearly care about the material, and so should you. Passion is sexier than nonchalance. But also don’t be afraid to ask questions – a good question can show how engaged you are.
Step Two: The next step is to talk to them about something other than the class material. It also helps if you have mutual friends. Otherwise, you’ll have to try a little harder. Lingering after their hours, or showing up early, can be a good way to fit in some non-class oriented conversation. Figure out what their interests are. And, if you absolutely have to, use Facebook-stalking as a last resort.
Step Three: Try to get some one-on-one time. If they offer to help you outside of their normal hours, that’s a good sign, but don’t read too far into it – they might just be doing it to be nice. If you can meet up, see how they react to flirtations. Invite them to your friend’s party and see if they show up. Ask them if they’d like to grab a cup of coffee before class one day. Or, if you’re that confident, you could just ask them out.
One Thursday night, these two BlogDH writers decided—like the proper seniors we are—to ignore our readings for the night and drag our housemates to Captain Seaweed’s Pub on the corner of Ives and Williams. The honeymoon period with the GCB was waning, and it was good to get out to the other bars of Providence—you can only go to Spats so many times before you feel like you should be a real adult and branch out. Meanwhile, Seaweed’s is home to good-spirited bartenders, plenty of fishing tackle and an old decrepit statue of a fisherman, whose level of creepiness is certainly up there.
But the real reason to visit Seaweed’s is for the Thursday night lobster raffle. Every Thursday, each drink comes with a raffle ticket, and then, at 11:30, winners are chosen and given a tray with two lobsters and a bag of mussels.
The success of the evening is all about strategy.
Living in a double has its ups and downs. The setup is ideal for the first week of freshman year when you would rather not go to the ice cream social by yourself. However, the lack of privacy can turn into a major issue later on—primarily in the being-naked-with-someone-else department.
Hook-ups come in all shapes and sizes. There are the sober post-date hookups, the afternoon-frolic-between-classes hookups, and the “Hey you’re that cute guy from my class and we’re both drunk and horny” hookups.
As a disclaimer, if you are too intoxicated to properly text your roommate to give them a heads up, you should not be hooking up in the first place. Besides, under those circumstances, there is a higher chance of encountering whisky dick, and no one wants that.
Though it may be awkward, it is important for you and your roommate lay out some preemptive ground rules. Open communication is essential in any relationship, especially if you don’t want to resent each other later on.
When you’re stressed out, what’s your coping mechanism? We all know that inhaling several slices of pizza can be a great temporary relief, but have you ever thought about sex as a study break option?
If you’ve spent all day hunched over a desk trying to cram as much into your brain as possible, chances are, sitting on Reddit for half an hour before crashing in bed is not going to give you the kind of release your body needs.
You need something that stretches out your muscles, gets your mind off of school, and gives you serious endorphins. You could always go to the gym, but let’s be real; none of the gyms are open when you’re done with the night’s work. Plus, nothing helps you fall asleep like a nice trip to O-Town.
In addition to the short-term gratification, sex has some serious long-term benefits for your reading period health:
For those of you non-bio concentrators, just so you know, oxytocin is an awesome hormone and has some serious credentials when it comes to reducing stress. It reduces cortisol, a hormone that is released in response to stress. If your body is not given the opportunity to decompress, that cortisol does not go away. It then continues to build up until eventually your body falls into a cycle of chronic stress. Unlike endorphins, you aren’t going to get a shot of oxytocin from running on a treadmill because your body releases it when you experience physical contact with another person. It helps you feel more comfortable and secure and puts a serious dent in the levels of cortisol circulating in your bloodstream.