Fall foliage 2014: What’s hot, what’s not

Fall in New England is a wonderful season. It brings crisp days, fresh apples, and pumpkin-flavored everything. But most importantly, the leaves are changing color. Fall just isn’t fall without trees bursting into fiery pigments as if trying to outdo each other in exuberance before winter repaints the world with its icy-grey palette. Let’s take a walk around campus to see what’s trending in arboreal fashion this year.

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What you see here is the classic yellow. Though this tree is not being as adventurous as it could be, it certainly gets credit for consistency. Verdict: Warm. I don’t feel like your heart is really in it.

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Trick or (spicy orange) treat! This tree is doing more than just showing off how bright it can be. That sizzling orange just screams Halloween. Trees love to dress up! Verdict: Hotter than toasted pumpkin seeds.

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5 Reasons Your Sims Have A Better Life Than You

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You may or may not know this, but Sims 3 (and a host of expansion packs) is available for download online for $25–a small price to pay to relive the glory days of your youth. The nostalgia alone from the fact that the game takes two hours to load, once opened, is enough to reduce me to tears every time. Nothing makes a late-90s,  early-2000s kid happier than drowning their virtual likeness in their massive pool, and trying to make the Grim Reaper take their unwanted love child instead. But playing The Sims does have its downsides. No matter how similar you make you and your Sim, you will never be able to type “rosebud;:;:” in the upper-left-hand corner of your life and get millions of dollars to buy thousands of genie lamps. Here are the top 5 reasons your Sim’s life is better than yours:

1. Promotions

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Ever wished that instead of a waitress making minimum wage and living for tips, you could be a world famous chef worth millions? According to The Sims, all you have to do is read a cookbook, and wait for your boss to call with your next promotion. Wish that instead of a test subject for other people’s experiments, you could be a top scientist working on curing the latest global epidemic? Easy, play chess with your neighbors one afternoon! You’ll be amazed at how the logic acquired from your game translates directly to your job saving lives with science.

2. Children

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Think $250 a day is too much to pay for a maid? So does your Sim. Luckily, they have an adoption process that requires no paperwork or vetting whatsoever. There are no child education requirements in The Sims world and DCFS basically only shows up if you starve the kid. So why not use your child as your personal housekeeper? No reason. Children can take out the trash, clean up the leftovers from when your Sim “served breakfast,” and even recycle the newspapers that have accumulated on your lawn because the paper boy just can’t take a hint.

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What to do on Parents Weekend, sans parents

I’m not bitter at all, I swear. Really. My parents aren’t coming this weekend and I’m totally fine with that. Like totally. Someone has to watch Millionaire Matchmaker, and Million Dollar Listing, and Mystery Millionaire, and if it’s not going to be my parents, who’s it going to be? They’re heroes, so it’s A-okay with me that they don’t want to drive a whole two hours to see me this weekend. I can have fun anyway. Here’s what to do if your parents don’t love you aren’t coming this Parents’ Weekend:

Go to the a capella/comedy shows

Everyone whose parents think they are worth travelling for (joke! It’s a joke!) will have to be sober for these shows, but you get to be drunk! Lucky you! At improv shows, you can make fun suggestions like, “mama’s boy!”, and “I’m not neurotic!”. You might dwell a little on the possibility that your parents just may have come to see you if you were funny or could sing or had any other talent.

Go out to dinner with your friend’s family

Your friend’s parents are oozing with parental affection and they are ready to cover you in it if you’re in the proximity. Maybe pretend they’re your parents. “Woah, Ms. and Mr. __________, this food sure is good! I’ve been living off of chocolate because I haven’t gone grocery shopping in weeks. See, I’m letting myself go and don’t really see the point anymore.” 

Call home to assert how fine you are

Say things like, “yeah I’m great!”, “Yeah SO busy, good thing you guys didn’t come”, “midterm season, you know? I would barely have any time for you anyway”, and “what? You’re not doing anything? Just hanging around? Sounds fun!”. Consider that your parents might see this article, but then remember that they don’t read BlogDH despite your repeated pleas that they, just, like, check it out. Lots of villains were obsessed with pleasing their parents, like the guy from Inception and the Green Goblin’s son. What a relief that you and your parents are in a really good mental place where you don’t feel inadequate at all, so you won’t become evil. You definitely won’t become evil. People without parents at all turn out great, like Annie and Oliver.

They would have been in Harmo

They would have been in Harmo

Though they could sing.

Image via.


16th Annual Animation Show of Shows

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Last night, RISD Auditorium hosted the 16th Annual Animation Show of Shows, curated by Ron Diamond, founder of ACME Filmworks. It was awesome. That’s really the only word for it. And beautiful. And inspiring. And funny. And disturbing. Okay, there are lots of words to describe it, because each of the films was wildly different, both aesthetically and thematically. Here’s what you missed, with videos embedded where I could find them:

CRAC!

This was weird. It was the epic tale of a quaint French-Canadian village where a rocking chair brings a family enormous joy. The animation style resembled a dancing crayon illustration at a master-level (I clearly lack the vocabulary to talk about animation with any authority). Industrialization rears its ugly head and the chair is thrown away as the village becomes a city. It receives a second life as the chair of an art museum security guard. CRAC!, if your curious, is the sound of a tree falling before it becomes a chair.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsWU-nksQWA

Feast

Feast will appear before Disney’s new animated feature Big Hero 6. It is the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. A little puppy who loves food is rescued by a man who also loves food. When the man gets a girlfriend, she forces him to eat healthier. The dog hates healthy food. But when the man and woman break up, the man becomes sad and unhealthy It’s then that the dog must decide if he should let his master be unhealthy so he can eat pizza, or if he should help him get the girl back and risk eating spinach.

Marilyn Myller

This is a surrealist, stop-motion short about a sculptor who plays God. It’s in black and white, but the lighting is unreal. The whole thing is impossible to stop looking at, and the end has a surprise twist that pokes fun at self-important artists.

Me and My Moulton

Oh my god, this might have been my favorite. I have never been so into the way animated trees look. It’s 2D and very simple but the humor is so on point. It’s about a Danish girl who wants her parents to be normal, but they are avant-garde and her dad is the only man in town with a mustache. It’s the epic quest to convince your parents to get you a bike. And it’s so good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xw_tH_sSVU

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Sextion: Getting with your TA

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I tend to be attracted to people with the ability to solve differential equations or who thought CS15 was “easy.” Throw in a cute smile and some hipster glasses and my panties will be dropping. But what about when that person happens to be grading your work and running review sessions before midterms? A.K.A. when that person is your TA. Something about how they answer your questions makes you all hot and bothered. So, is it ok to try and get with your TA? As a TA myself, I do enjoy some tactful flirting once in a while. Just don’t be obnoxious. After all, I’ve hooked up someone that I TA’ed.

I’ve also been other side of the scenario. More than once I’ve gone to TA sessions just because I wanted to get an eyeful. I’ve also plotted with friends on how to get my TA to the GCB so I could get them tipsy and then hit on them. I know…shameless. Nevertheless, unless you’re going to be violating the school’s code of academic conduct, I say go for it. Time to get frisky with intellectual authority.

Step One: The first step to get with your TA is to be doing well in the class. They clearly care about the material, and so should you. Passion is sexier than nonchalance. But also don’t be afraid to ask questions – a good question can show how engaged you are.

Step Two: The next step is to talk to them about something other than the class material. It also helps if you have mutual friends. Otherwise, you’ll have to try a little harder. Lingering after their hours, or showing up early, can be a good way to fit in some non-class oriented conversation. Figure out what their interests are. And, if you absolutely have to, use Facebook-stalking as a last resort.

Step Three: Try to get some one-on-one time. If they offer to help you outside of their normal hours, that’s a good sign, but don’t read too far into it – they might just be doing it to be nice. If you can meet up, see how they react to flirtations. Invite them to your friend’s party and see if they show up. Ask them if they’d like to grab a cup of coffee before class one day. Or, if you’re that confident, you could just ask them out.

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What to do this week: October 20 – 26

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Monday, October 20

Event: SPEC Presents: Brown’s Annual Fall Fest
Time: 8.00 – 10.00 p.m.
Location: Ruth Simmons Quad

The main thing you need to know: everything is free, a student’s favorite number. Free food (pie, cider, mac and cheese), free performances (yes, a cappella), and even a free tent.

Event: PW Presents: Song for a Future Generation
Time: 8.00 p.m.
Location: PW Downspace
Tonight is the last showing of Song for a Future Generation, directed by Grant Glovin ’16. Tickets are available an hour before the show at the PW box office. It’s a future-space-comedy good time.

Tuesday, October 21

Event: Consent Day Fair
Time: 4.00 – 6.00 p.m.
Location: Main Green

Who doesn’t love those ‘consexual sex is hot’ t-shirts? And they’re free. Make like California talk about how yes means oh, yes. Trivia, consent pledges and t-shirts galore.

Event: Heavy Petting
Time: 12.00 – 2.00 p.m.
Location: Wriston Quad

You know the drill. Cute animals, hugging, squeezing, Instagramming, and hopefully, hand sanitizing. (Am I the only one to have ever questioned the proximity to the Ratty?) But srsly, #cuteoverload!

Event: UCAAP Presents: Buddy Screening
Time: 8.30 – 10.00 p.m.
Location: Smitty-B 106

In case you’ve been living under a rock, Buddy Cianci, ex-con and ex-mayor, is running for mayor again! This 2008 documentary on the hero/anti-hero is a crowd fave. Go learn and be political, etc.

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