Tips to Make it Out of Finals Alive (On the Inside, As Well!)

Stress-beating tips from someone who isn’t qualified to give tips about stress-beating

DISCLAIMER: This is me reminding you that I don’t have a degree in medicine and/or psychology (yet)- just lots of advice that has worked for people I know.

(I’ll try to leave out the obvious ones.  I mean, everyone knows you should eat right and sleep enough.)

 

So… It’s officially that time of the year again. You know the one. The one where the sun sets at 4 pm and the only thing looking darker than the sky is your future. Yup, it’s finals season. Joy. Well, I don’t know about you guys, but being a procrastinator and/or a perfectionist especially sucks this time of the year. From a certified perfectionist, here are a few tips about \ beating the stress. I know they work because I haven’t used most of them and I’m always stressed, so:

1. SLEEP WHENEVER YOU WANT.

Seriously. As long as you’re getting 6+ hours, it doesn’t matter if you go to bed at 4 am or 11 pm. As long as you’re not missing anything important (and most important things end before reading period), you can sleep into the day. Setting hard deadlines on a night will only stress you out- besides, no one else gets to tell you when you should be most productive. TIME IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.

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10 Reasons Why It’s Totally OK That You’re Procrastinating Right Now

  1. You deserve this.

  2. You’ve been working really hard lately! Like, super hard!

  3. Winter break is only like two weeks away — it’s not like any decision you make at this point could actually affect your grades that badly.

  4. It’s only a couple of minutes… or hours… or days…

  5. Even though society wants you to forget it, you are a person before you are a student.

  6. If you think about it, you probably don’t need all that time to do your work anyway. Doing it all right now and finishing early would just mean that you’ll have free time later when everyone else is working. So if you procrastinate now, you’re really just pacing yourself so that you’re not left to have fun by yourself when everyone else is studying. If you don’t really think about, it makes a whole lot of sense.

  7. Think about all the Facebook holiday baking videos you’d be missing if you were working right now. It’s practically criminal.

  8. Spending time with your friends before you have to abandon them for a month is equally, if not more, important to the work you think you should be doing.

  9. As Maya Angelou (who is like, super smart) once said, “Every person needs to take one day away.”

  10.  I mean, at the end of the day, you’re going to do what you have to do. Who are you kidding? You’re a perfectionist that took 34 AP classes in high school. It’s not as if your academic conscience, which has equated academic success with self-worth for the last fifteen years, would let you not turn in your 15-page international relations paper. So even if you do end up writing all of it in the final 12 hours, you’re going to do it — ergo, you might as well surf Facebook for now. Yay!


Mash-Ups of Songs With the Same Names That Shouldn’t Exist

… and how long I could listen to them for (each of them is roughly 2 minutes long.)

 

1.Rockstar

Nickelback x Miley Cyrus (or Hannah Montana… idk)

https://rave.dj/NcdqVrenCfI05A

They say Hannah went off the rails, but they ain’t seen nothing yet.

HOW LONG DID I LAST? The whole 2 minutes. It was one of the first few I made.

 

2.Changes

David Bowie x 2Pac

https://rave.dj/eymY34yaqjn34w

Two classics that are great by themselves- and strangely, not that bad together. Or maybe I was just desensitised, because it was the ninth mash-up I’d made.

HOW LONG DID I LAST? Ashamed to admit it, but the whole 2 minutes.

 

3.Rude Boy

Rihanna x Bob Marley

https://rave.dj/7ay-ixqfghzxXg

Exactly as horrible as it sounds.

HOW LONG DID I LAST? 2 minutes, but only because I was horrified into   paralysis.

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The Fall of Fall

If you’re anything like me, you’re trying to hold on to these last days of autumn. You find yourself Snapchatting trees that stop you in your tracks, or picking leaves up off of the sidewalk to press into your journal. Your walks have gotten longer as your fingers have gotten colder and your sneakers are always crunching through the fallen heroes of the season.

What’s that? That’s just me? You, like, actually do your homework?

Visit the library?

Interesting.

Okay, well you’ll be feeling this autumnal nostalgia soon enough when the temperature drops below zero and the world is colorless and bleak. While most of the leaves have lost their luster, some remain.

To capture these the last of this season, I got out my angstiest camera lens and went for a nice little wander throughout campus ~a le flâneur. Fortunately, the sky was especially dismal for me to capture this deeply poetic season for your sadboi viewing pleasure (read: my self-gratification). I encourage you to track down each of these trees and sit under them for a while until you encounter some deep enlightenment or freeze to death — whichever comes first.

Without further ado or anymore obnoxious clichés, I present to you mediocre photos of trees:

These pure #nofilter trees truly capture the beauty of Ruth Simmons. Sit under them while wearing a scarf and reading Dostoyevski, and Brown’s camera guy will definitely put you in a brochure.

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Meal Plan Is A Scam

Extra, extra: Meal plan is a scam. (If meal plan is a part of your financial aid package, please read until the end.)

Here’s the meal plan situation by the numbers:

When examining these numbers, take into consideration that millennials spend an average of $237 dollars on groceries per month, which comes to about $2.67 per meal (assuming three meals a day). If you’re still not shocked, take into account that these numbers assume that you have no points or credits left at the end of the semester (which, I’ve never personally witnessed), and that you never spend a penny eating out.

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Pre-Registration for Dummies

A How-To for Those who Have No Clue What They’re Doing

Step 1: Put off doing actual homework by scouring the hundreds of course offerings on C@B for way longer than necessary.

Step 2: Get so over-excited about every class you read about that you consider changing your concentration.

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