FALL2014: Course Superlatives

FALL2014

We have reached that point in the year when no one pays attention in lecture anymore, but this week, it’s for an understandable reason: it’s preregistration time. Everyone is perfecting their Banner carts during class, and thanks to the creativity (or lack thereof) of many professors, browsing the Fall 2014 course listings is infinitely more entertaining than lecture. We present another round of course superlatives:

Most doable:
ENGL0910: How to Read a Poem

Most difficult to convince your parents to spend tuition on:
ENGL1511: Scandalous Victorians
MUSC0607: Old-Time String Band

Most likely to dissuade you from concentrating in the department:
ENGN0130: The Engineer’s Burden: Why Changing the World is Difficult

Most identical twinning:
BIOL1050: Biology of the Eukaryotic Cell
BIOL2050: Biology of the Eukaryotic Cell

Most likely to lead to a first date:
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10 things we learned from Skyping with Wes Anderson

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OH MY GOD THAT’S WES ANDERSON.

Thanks to the brilliance (and enviable sway) of this year’s Ivy Film Festival organizers, we were among the many who were lucky enough to Skype with the director of the beloved Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, and most recently, The Grand Budapest Hotel, which is now playing at the Avon. Through a list of pre-selected questions — and a decidedly imperfect video feed — we learned just what inspires Wes’ characters, stories, and color schemes, among the other gems we’ve listed for you here:

1. Never has the artificial ringing of a Skype call come with such anticipation and subsequent cheering from any user.

2. Wes neither speaks French, nor is he well-versed in French cinema, but he yearns to direct more French actors, like Romain Duris and Isabelle Huppert. #AmericanDream?

3. Wes claims The Last Picture Show influenced his filmmaking, and he totaled a convertible in the middle of the night as he and a friend drove to the film’s location site in Archer City, Texas. The feed got kind of choppy at this point, and all we heard was “then my friend was trying to get me to look at the stars… and then I looked back at the road, and we weren’t on it!”

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A Cool Thing You Shouldn’t Miss: “The Prince of Egypt” screening

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There are plenty of us who could use a refresher course on the story of Passover. How many plagues were there again? Was one of them a Polar Vortex? Fear not, because tonight, Hillel’s Engagement Internship is hosting a viewing of “The Prince of Egypt,” everyone’s favorite should-be-Disney movie (it’s actually Dreamworks Animation… yes, your entire childhood was a lie.) “The Prince of Egypt” chronicles the life of Moses and the events that Passover commemorates, so if you missed the four questions at your family’s seder this week (or don’t know what that even means), go check out this event on the Main Green at 8:00 pm. The movie is top-notch, and features an Academy Award-winning soundtrack with original songs that will make you kvell. Bring a blanket, because the viewing includes a picnic with free chocolate-covered matzo — need I say more?


A Cool Thing You Shouldn’t Miss: WIB presents WhatWeWearWhere

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Wear Where will you be tonight? Join Brown Women in Business (WIB) at 8 p.m. in Kassar for an event hosted by a mother-daughter duo. Kelley Harrison ’13 and her mother, Kathy, co-founded the fashion app and wardrobe guide WhatWeWearWhere!

Wait, what does your startup WhatWeWearWhere do? Basically, it’s an Instagram for those who never know what to wear, curated by those who always know what to wear.

WhatWeWearWhere allows you to see what people are actually wearing at different colleges, workplaces, restaurants, and events and where they bought their outfits. Yeah, you can even see what people wear to The Whiskey Republic because, well, you probably forgot. More popular categories include “Brown University,” “financial analyst,” “charity event,” “wedding,” and “4th of July.” If you’re really struggling, there’s even an “at home” category. Basically, anyone can share photos of their unique style and see what others are wearing.

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Sextion: Beyond the Fleshlight

Sextion

You’re at a party and a girl is joking about her dildo. She seems funny and even sexually daring for bringing it up. At the same party, a guy is joking about his masturbation sleeve. He seems creepy and a little perverted. Is there a good reason why this double standard should be able to persist? I can’t see one, yet it does.

As a woman, I’m fascinated by male masturbation. I have so much fun with erections that I know I’d be delighted to have my own personal boner to play with from time to time. I also believe that men should have as much freedom to experiment with masturbation toys as women do. So, I think it’s time to highlight a few male masturbation toys that should be on every guy’s radar.

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Campus visitors: an etiquette guide

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The prospies are coming, the prospies are coming! No, it isn’t necessary to get your bayonets ready. Because this week is spring break for many schools and next week is ADOCH (!!!), you will be seeing many, many visitors around campus. These youngsters are fairly harmless, though their perfectly tailored suits might frighten you, and their not-yet-jaded spirits may be too much for your barren prefinals souls to handle. And remember, they’re bringing lots of company.  In the upcoming days, Brown will be flooded with prospective students, and the parents and abuelitos and second cousins of said students. Look for them bumping into people at the bookstore, salivating over Blue Room muffins (alongside us), and taking selfies with Indomitable #GOBRUNO.

It’s important that Brown students are especially well behaved and accommodating when we have visitors. I mean, we’re not crazy party animals on the regular, but you surely don’t want to reenact your Spring Weekend behavior during these day (or just make sure to make that morning walk of shame extra discreet). Here are some etiquette rules to follow as we share our campus with future Brownies, and their economy-stimulating relatives, bless their hearts:

1. If a group of visitors clearly looks lost or is having a hard time making sense of the Faunce arch map, offer to help! Ignore the dad who says they don’t need directions and listen to the sensible mom.

2. Don’t be obnoxious and scoff when someone asks you where the Sharpe Refectory is. Kindly tell them it’s affectionately dubbed the Ratty, but there are no rats…we hope.

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