Everything you need to know about “Heartbleed”


Some call it CVE-2014-0160. Some like to refer to it as TLS heartbeat read overrun. Some know it as OpenSSL v1.0.1. I like to say it’s the worst thing to happen to the Internet since BuzzFeed.

However you know it, the bug commonly known as Heartbleed remains shrouded in mystery to many. But no longer! By the end of this article, you, my fellow Brunonian, will be able to proudly discuss the intricacies of Heartbleed with your friendly local CS concentrator. Kind of like how you discussed that book in AP English after only reading the Sparknotes.

(Disclaimer: CS people, please don’t get angry at me for the technical transgressions I’ve committed in this article.)

What is Heartbleed?

Brief review: HTTPS is a thing. (You know, like https://) The S stands for Secure. It’s for when you don’t want other people to be able to see your passwords and other personal information.

You know that little lock in the top left corner?


This one.

Well, Heartbleed allows hackers to unlock that lock (in certain cases) and see parts of your personal information. Yeah. No bueno. Especially when the https:// precedes yourbank.com.

What’s up with the name?

Sometimes, when your computer is talking to a website, it sends it a “heartbeat” to let it know that it’s still there. Kind of like when your doctor uses a stethoscope to make sure you’re still there. Without getting into technical details, suffice to say that the bug came from those heartbeats. So someone thought, “Oh, it would be kind of cool to nickname the bug Heartbleed, cause the site is bleeding information to hackers. Get it?”

And so it was.

How bad is it?

How bad would it be if your heart were bleeding?

Shit. Have all my passwords been stolen?

Uh, it’s sort of difficult to say. One of the worst things about Heartbleed is that it’s really hard to tell if anyone actually took advantage of it, and if so, who.

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What to do this week: April 15-18

what to do this week


Event: Cinema Ritrovato Film Festival
Time: Tuesday-Thursday
Location: Martinos Auditorium, Granoff

This year’s Cinema Ritrovato tour brings a number of screenings of Italian films to the Granoff center this Tuesday through Thursday. Among the films featured are Fellini’s classic La Dolce Vita (Tuesday at 6:45p.m.) and this year’s Oscar Best Foreign Film The Great Beauty, which I highly, highly recommend. Full schedule here.

Event: Ivy Film Festival
Time: Various, Monday-Sunday
Location: Mostly Granoff as well; various other sites including the Avon and List Art Center

The 2014 Ivy Film Festival is here, with events all week including screenings of Noah (tonight), Locke (Tuesday), The Grand Budapest Hotel (Wednesday),  Cutie and the Boxer (Thursday), and Neighbors (Saturday). Read our post about the festival here and view the full schedule here.

Wednesday, April 16:

Event: Governing Climate Change Conference
Time: 9 a.m.-3 p.m.
Location: Joukouwsky Forum, Watson Institute

The Watson Institute hosts an all-day conference exploring climate change from a Latin American perspective as Peru readies itself to host the 2014 UN Climate Negotiations. Former President of Chile Ricardo Lagos chairs the conference and will speak at 9:15a.m. along with former Mexican President Felipe Calderon. Other speakers include several more Chilean and Mexican officials, as well as a minister from Colombia. The conference will also be live-streamed here.

Event: GCB Challenge
Time: 4 p.m.-1 a.m.
Location: Grad Center Bar

Senior Class Board hosts the GCB Challenge, which appeared at number 12 on our Senior Spring Bucket List. The cover fee will be waived for non-members, and Class Board promises to “keep you fed for free throughout your stay.” Let’s be honest, seniors–what else are you going to be doing that’s really more important?

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A Misanthrope’s Guide to Television: Mad Men (spoiler alert!)

We all know that there is lots of TV to be watched on Sunday nights, and we all know that the TV fans that scream loudest are the Game of Thrones maniacs. Now, far be it from me to judge anyone for their choices in life, television or otherwise, but Game of Thrones is stupid (Ed. YOU TAKE THAT BACK). Full disclosure, I haven’t watched it, but I can only keep track of so many boobs and swords at once. So, in the event you need to stop looking up to the Khaleesi (or whatever), turn your sights on my hero: Joan.


Mother of dragons? Cute.

Joan never went to college, but she’s got a B.A. in bad-assery and that’s all she seems to need. In the final season premier, Joan takes matters into her own hands and is on her way to becoming an account executive OVERTHROWING THE PATRIARCHY. Her masculine counterpart, Roger, seems to be spiraling into a crisis only orgies and incense can resolve, as his daughter attempts to absolve him of his sins.

Meanwhile, Pete is happy, and Peggy isn’t! What?! But Peggy is riding high with a corner office and underlings while Pete seems to be feeling bohemian way out west. They’re both raging workaholics who define themselves through rank and recognition, so why does Peggy end the episode collapsed on the floor while Pete raves about some stupid sandwich to Don?

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A Cool Thing you Shouldn’t Miss: The Battle of Kadesh

A long, long time ago, I can still remember how King Ramses II tried to kicked some Hittite ass. In the event you forgot, YOU CAN RECREATE IT! That’s right. Get yo’ battle on: Egyptian style. Hosted by Professor Laurel Bestock’s Ancient Egyptian Warfare Class, the recreation of the Battle of Kadesh will take place on Thursday, but that’s mostly relevant if you only want to watch.

But why sit on your ass like some sub-standard chariot rider when you can participate? Report to the (poorly named) Quiet Green at noon TOMORROW at high noon to participate. To sign up, go here and for more info, go here.

A few words of warning: Don’t be so eager to seize Kadesh! It’s obviously not a guaranteed victory if it means separating your Amun division from the rest of your forces. Stupid strategy. What are you? A rookie?

Spring Weekend, circa 1274 BCE!

Image via.

12 Days of Spring Weekend: FIND YOUR FRIENDS!


We know you can’t get enough of Spring Weekend. The shift back to reality is always tough, but fear not – Blog is here to help. Want to try to piece together relive the last three days? Check out our Spring Weekend 2014 Facebook album here, and find your friends! Tag, laugh, cry, and reminisce on the weekend together.

Students who do cool things: Musicians’ take on Chance the Rapper

STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING! Put down your beer book and start watching that video. Right?! Holy crap, that voice is sultry as hell. And guess what: it belongs to a student here! In fact, all the members of this band go to Brown. A collaboration between top musicians such as Dolapo Akinkugbe (DAP) ’16, Clyde Lawrence ’15, and Bryn Bliska ’14, this impeccably shot cover of Chance the Rapper’s “Cocoa Butter Kisses” was conceived before BCA had even revealed that the mastermind of Acid Rap would be playing at Spring Weekend. As Clyde tells it, the group had played a cover of the song at a birthday party, and “once we heard he was coming, we decided we needed to make a video.”

But just look at them go! Chance must be proud. Tune in to this crew to finish your Spring Weekend right.

Here’s the entire list of folks rocking out in the cover:

Clyde Lawrence ’15 // Keys/Vocals
Dolapo Akinkugbe (aka DAP) ’16 // Vocals
Bryn Bliska ’14 // Organ/Vocals
Peter Enriquez ’14 // Guitar
Ana Gonzalez ’15 // Bass
Jamie Fried ’14 // Drums
Sumner Becker ’14 // Sax
Zach Levine ’15 // Trumpet
Filmed/Edited by:
Jordan Beard ’15
If you’re looking for more badass beats, go here for Clyde’s web site, here for DAP’s, here for Bryn’s and here for Jordan’s. You won’t regret it.