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Athlete OTW: Simon Jones ’16

The simple word “fencing” brings all manner of images to mind. From white picket fencing, which represented the suburban American Dream of the 1950s, to border fencing, which has become the most divisive issue of the 2016 presidential campaign, fencing resonates deeply with the soul of the American public.

The sport of fencing doesn’t have quite such a universal national appeal. But that’s certainly not the fault of Simon Jones ’16. On the contrary, Jones is doing everything he can to make fencing more exciting to a national audience, starting by qualifying for three NCAA championships in his four-year career with the Bears.

Jones, who fences “epee” — which, despite widely held public belief, is not an electronic toilet device, but a type of fencing — recently qualified for his third NCAA championship as a Bear, and placed 12th in the competition, earning his second All-American honor.

Born in Louisville, Colorado — which holds the prestigious distinction of the No. 2 spot on the “best-known towns named Louisville” list — Joneshas now completed his career as a student-athlete, but he’s not done with the Brown Bears: He’ll return next year as an assistant coach for the fencing team.

Jones’ life has been built around fencing: He’s fenced in the junior olympics and nationals as well as Junior World Cups in Slovakia, Sweden and Finland. And now, as his career with the Bears concludes, he leaves Brown a three-time NCAA finalist and two-time All American.

For reaching his third NCAA championship in his final days as a Bear, Jones has been named The Herald’s Athlete Of The Week.

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Rhode Island tourism campaign wins at failing

The creative team tasked with rebranding Rhode Island recently rolled out the first pieces of the state’s new tourism campaign. While the team, led by Milton Glaser (creator of the I <3 NY campaign of the 80s), hoped to bring some positive attention to the biggest little state of the union, its efforts turned out bad. Like, really bad.

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Artist OTW: Evan Silver ’16

This week’s artist of the week is Evan Silver ’16 for his work in playwriting and directing. He has acted in and directed numerous plays in his four year at Brown, including directing two original works, “Waxwing” and “11 Apocalypses.”

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On April Jailbait

In response to a previous article of mine, a student suggested that I should change my name “given that the current one refers to statutory rape.”

I am not unsympathetic to this line of thinking; I had my own misgivings in choosing the pseudonym but decided to keep it nonetheless, in part because April Jailbait fits so well with Leslie Grope.

Monica and Rachel just didn’t rhyme with enough things.

The other reason is more nuanced and perhaps quite selfish.

It’s also very specific to me.

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Everyone Loves (Ken’s) Ramen

Ramen holds a special place in college students’ hearts. We depend on late night meals to keep our study grind going, often leading to a date with noodle cups.

Once you get a taste of Ken’s Ramen, a mere 10-minute walk from the Faunce steps, you’ll never want to eat shitty ramen out of a Styrofoam microwavable cup again. Brown and RISD students can easily walk to Ken’s Ramen, get an extra Hirata pork bun from the money saved on an Uber and call it a reward for exercising. Sometimes I debate going there and just ordering 10 pork buns for my meal. But then, I remember just how delicious the noodles are.

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Of Condoms and Cavemen

Until very recently, I was under the impression that it was a right of passage for guys to carry condoms around in their wallets. Then a guy friend asked me to hold his wallet for him and I found out, perhaps unethically, that his wallet was barren of that infamous Bear Necessity.

This realization sparked a debate within my mixed-gender friend group. We were divided in a surprisingly organized way. The girls all had condoms on their person; the boys all did not.

This week’s life article, therefore, is an open letter to sex-happy boys who don’t carry condoms.

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