Ever wonder if songs you were singing at a young age were completely age-inappropriate? They were! This column is a trip down memory lane that will have you asking, “Why was I singing this at such a young age? What do these lyrics even mean? Where were my parents?!”
No, but really, what was this song?
It’s fun to imagine party goers at Brown in the late 90s going crazy when this one song came on the speaker — or whatever they used back then to blast music through the halls of Keeney.
This mostly unintelligible song was released in 1998, and I remember it was on my copy of Now That’s What I Call Music 4. Other tracks included Macy Gray’s “I Try,” Blink 182’s “All the Small Things,” and Jennifer Lopez’s “Waiting for Tonight.” What a playlist.
Below is an attempt at interpreting the song, though it will forever remain a puzzle.
The 2014 Class Board is putting on a prom, which will be in Alumnae Hall this Saturday at 9 p.m. Prom will 90s-themed, which means there will be many Clarissas and Powerpuff Girls and lots of guys in big t-shirts and pastel hoodies claiming to be extras from Saved By the Bell. The event is free and open to seniors at 9 (and the rest of undergrads after 11—Brown ID required for entry) and the Facebook invite promises a night of 90s music with two cash bars. While you could just sit in your room and watch some Johnny Bravo while streaming a 90s Pandora playlist, this is much better. But seriously, it’s “prom tonight do-do-do-doodoo” [See video above.]
Jam of the Week – Lupe Fiasco – Jonylah Forever
Guns have led to tragedy after tragedy these last few weeks, including the death of 6-month-old Jonylah Watkins in Chicago last Tuesday, to whom Lupe pays tribute in this song. Kimani Gray was shot to death by cops in Brooklyn last weekend, and waves of protests have been held in East Flatbush all week, though the media has done an insultingly bad job covering this. Tip of the hat to Lupe for talking about shit that matters.
Hip-Hop – Awkwafina – NYC B*tche$
So… Since I’m moving back to NY after I graduate, in great probability to Bushwick, I should probably be offended by her “they all live in Bushwick, they all love Bushwick, but I say fuck that shit” but I’m actually just totally honored to live in the same city as this perfect human.
Jam of the Week –Rhye – Open This song has been around for a while but there’s a new music video. In classic Rhye fashion, the video features a couple dealing with Jonathan Franzen-style bourgeois ennui.
Cover – Azealia Banks – Barely Legal (The Strokes Cover)
I cannnnnnot get over this song. I play it when I’m getting ready for school. I play it when I’m doing homework. It’s simultaneously background noise and the fliest shit in the world. I hope Azealia Banks stops using homophobic language because this secures her place in my heart as an eternal BAMF.
Pop – Perfume – Fake It
The Internet loves Japanese pop-star Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, and for good reason because she’s the weirdest. But sometimes I want to return to good ol’ uncomplicated J-Pop, and Perfume fills that void perfectly. Plus all three of them are painfully cute and I like seeing them bop around in those little outfits.
Electronic – Haezer – Troublemaker ft. Tumi
There is a strange music video trope of children with superpowers but this is super accurate. I was such a little d-bag in Middle School. If I had Matilda-type powers, I would fuck shit up.
You may be off meal plan, but you’re never too old for DIY Dunkaroos. Or Go-Gurt. Or Pizza Lunchables. So put on your jean overalls and follow these DIY recipes for your favorite ’90s snacks. We guarantee you will reconnect with your inner child.