Pamphlets

Healthy living, as told by Health Services brochures

Health Services can get bogged down treating all of the students on campus, particularly during cold season, which seems to extend from September to May. Some people have experienced a longer than preferred sit in the waiting area whilst picking up a prescription or prior to a doctor’s appointment, but you also may have noticed the wide array of informative pamphlets available for pleasure reading. While waiting for the doctor, we have looked through almost all of the pamphlets, and, in classic BlogDH fashion, are providing you with a top-notch summary. Here’s what you might’ve missed if you’ve never visited a nurse/live in a plastic bubble.

Nutrition

1. You should ingest around 2300mg of salt per day, or one teaspoon. For terrifying, college-relevant reference, 1/2 a block of prepared Ramen noodles is between 800 and 900mg of sodium, 1 tablespoon of soy sauce is 1000 mg, and an extra crispy fried chicken breast (a healthier alternative to a spicy with) is 1010mg. Basically, say goodbye to the easiest Sans Meal Plan dinner, the toppings on your pho at Andrews Commons, and the entirety of Jo’s.
2. When you add more fiber to your diet, you should also drink more water to help the fiber move through your digestive system.
3. If you are a vegetarian who eats dairy products and eggs, you are a lacto-ovo-vegetarian. That means lacto-vegetarians (who do not eat eggs but do eat dairy), and vegans will have a superiority complex around you.

A History Lesson in Alcohol

1. The first beer brewed in colonial America was made from maize by settlers in Roanoke Colony, Virginia, in 1587. No wonder they mysteriously disappeared—they were all shitfaced.
2. The first law against alcohol consumption in America was set in 1623 in Virginia.
3. Beer is believed to have been made in Ancient Babylonia circa 5000 B.C.

Let us all remember that the only thing that gets a drink out of your system is time – approximately 1 hour per drink.

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Shit we love: Sriracha Vodka

UV_Sriracha_BottleSriracha is in trouble.

First, a judge ruled that Huy Fong Food’s Southern California Sriracha plant must shut down due to neighbor’s complaints that the smell caused headaches. Then, Dining Services implemented a rule barring the usage of spicy with sauces on anything but spicy withs. Say goodbye to your divine 1:30 a.m. Sriracha and fries.

But, just when we thought all was lost, in swoops Phillips Distilling Company to save the day. This insane and delusional genius company decided enough was enough. Someone needed to combine college students’ two favorite liquids. Introducing…UV Sriracha Vodka.

The visionary director of research and development at Phillips, Jim Aune, describes the best pair since peanut and jelly as a “blend of chili peppers, garlic and vegetables.” Sounds like the perfect pre-hook up drink to me! While everyone is probably dying to drink that enticing blend straight, Aune suggests adding it to a bloody mary or any other savory drink.

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Drunk/Sober/High: Freshman Laundry Night

Last Sunday, three brave freshman souls ventured into a deep, dark place: the laundry room of a Pembroke dormitory. One faced the challenge of drunken stupor, another was cast under the spell of an herbal tendency, and the third, and perhaps bravest soul of all, stood bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, intoxicated only by his anticipation for the night that lay ahead. Here is their story (unfortunately, it’s 100% true… literally, 100%).

**The peaks and nadirs of this blurry night were chronicled by a Spotify playlist crafted with love and affection. Click on the hyperlinks throughout the post to truly vibe with Drunk, Sober and High’s experience. Yes, we listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell.**

9:35 p.m.: Drunk, after taking two shots of unidentified water bottle alcohol alone, heads over to Sober’s room.

9:42 p.m.: Drunk sends High aggressive text messages…

 First aggressive text messages of the night9:48 p.m.: Sober pressures Drunk into a third shot. He reminds Drunk that by the end of the night, she is also expected to finish the five Blue Moons awaiting her in his fridge.

9:54 p.m.: Sober is overheard saying to Drunk, “On a scale from one to yakking, I want you to be at an eight.” Fourth shot is imbibed.

10:15 p.m.: High arrives unannounced, interrupting Sober and Drunk’s intense discussion of vintage sweatshirts.

10:18 p.m.: “I’m definitely vibing right now.” –High

10:22 p.m.: “I am a shameless encourager of their intoxication.” –Sober

10:26 p.m.: “We need to do laundry.” –Drunk

10:30 p.m.: Hi-Chew is currently a point of contention. High and Drunk will do whatever they can to get their hands on that mango-flavored goodness. Sober proclaims, “You must unlock the Hi-Chew via higher levels of intoxication.”

10:34 p.m.: Drunk mistakes Japanese eraser for Hi-Chew and begins to consume.

10:37 p.m.: Conversation ensues.

Drunk: “I’m nervous I’m going to make all of my whites pink.”

High: “I did that to other people’s laundry while sober the other day.” Continue Reading


Frosh-cessities: Ten things a freshman learns from Spring Weekend

Spring Weekend lesson from Furby - bring a cup (drank)

Spring Weekend lesson brought to you by Furby: bring a cup (drank)

The slip and slide on Wriston has soapy foam on it: Simple, but now that we know we are definitely rinsing off before class/bringing a towel. The foam party was so two years ago…

Marching bands are sick:  I didn’t think there would be much excitement around opening acts, but getting to the concert early on Friday meant dancing like a maniac for a solid half hour or more. Students got down on the cement with the drummers and pretended they were at Mardi Gras. They made eye contact with the trumpeter and almost got decapitated by the chick with the cymbals… and it was worth every minute. What Cheer? Brigade should come back every year. They are that brassy beat that’s missing from our lives.

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Students who do cool things: Cape Commons Beer Co.

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As we speak, Lily Ricci and Vic Bartash, both ’13, are walking on treadmills in the Nelson Fitness Center. They’ve been doing so since 8 a.m. to raise both awareness about lack of accessibility of clean water and money for their brewery startup. Cape Commons Beer Company, Ricci and Bartash’s project, aims to produce great beer while raising money to invest in clean water resources. So far, they have raised over $4,000 in their Indiegogo campaign, but still have a ways to go in the next three weeks to reach the $35,000 dollar goal necessary to get their signature Cape Commons Lager produced commercially.

So, how can you help? Well, Ricci and Bartash are hitting the treadmills to get your attention. Donate $30 while they’re walking (until 8 p.m. tonight), and you’ll score a free Cape Commons Beer tank. You can also comment a song on their LiveStream (link here) and they will dance to it for 30 seconds while on the treadmill. In other words, they are willing to work pretty hard for your money. Oblige them.


Woman gets stuck in microscopic gap between two buildings on Thayer

No, seriously. I don't see a gap.

What gap?

No, we’re not kidding. The Providence Journal reported that around 1 a.m. on November 9, an allegedly inebriated 22-year-old URI student got stuck in the 8- to 9-inch crack gap between City Sports and FedEx Kinko’s on Thayer Street.

… WTF? Well, just you wait. It gets weirder. She was found trapped horizontally approximately two feet above the ground. That’s some Houdini shit, except for the fact that she couldn’t escape. Acting Battalion Fire Chief Jeffrey Varone reported that she attempted to use the gap as a shortcut when she got caught and started crying for help. A passerby heard her yells and called the police.

So far in my Brown education, there has been a lot of emphasis on analyzing current situations while simultaneously figuring out the circumstances that led to said situations. So the real question is where was she trying to go and why? I speculate her thought process went like this:

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