Campus Life Updates: Policy changes this Fall


Campus Life’s most recent email details some of the significant changes to the Student Conduct code, the alcohol and social event policy, and student resources, resulting from the review process that took place last May. To get the full scoop, well… you should probably read your email. For a condensed version, see below.

Alcohol and Social Events:

-The restrictions on dorm spaces serving alcohol that were introduced last semester will be continued, at least through this Fall. Certain spaces on campus will be “on hold” on Friday and Saturday nights, in order to meet the demand for housing student events. This will also help with “increasing university support for the management” of said events.

-According to feedback from last year, students prefer “calmer living spaces.”

-Graduate students are filling a new role for Reslife to “enhance harm-reduction strategies on weekend nights in residence halls.” The grad students are supposed to address community disruptions, provide assistance for students, and host “alcohol-free programming.” Mayhaps, Settlers of Catan?

See the full report here.

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Summary: Sexual Assault “Community Notification”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOn January 19th, Campus Life sent an email to all Brown students detailing the situations in the fall of 2014 that resulted in two campus fraternities’ suspensions. The email went on to discuss procedural changes on campus as a result of these incidents. The email is very long, and a bit confusing. Here is the backbone of it:

First, the paragraph that affects almost everyone.


Both the term “alcoholic service” and “residential area” are loosely defined. One RPL in Wayland commented that their the job description still does not include busting parties like DPS. However, there is notable confusion as to whether “residential areas” are confined to on-campus, and whether alcohol services translates to selling alcohol, or to serving it as the host of a small gathering.

Brown insists that these changes are in the effort to make campus safer, and “change the status quo” that allows for parties that seem to foster sexual assault and misconduct.

Second, the incidents that led up to this:

  • Phi Psi threw an unregistered party in October where “two students reported receiving an alcoholic drink that contained a date rape drug.” One of the students went on to report non-consensual sexual contact off site later that night (and not from a member of Phi Psi). The student attributed it to the drugging. Continue Reading


Healthy living, as told by Health Services brochures

Health Services can get bogged down treating all of the students on campus, particularly during cold season, which seems to extend from September to May. Some people have experienced a longer than preferred sit in the waiting area whilst picking up a prescription or prior to a doctor’s appointment, but you also may have noticed the wide array of informative pamphlets available for pleasure reading. While waiting for the doctor, we have looked through almost all of the pamphlets, and, in classic BlogDH fashion, are providing you with a top-notch summary. Here’s what you might’ve missed if you’ve never visited a nurse/live in a plastic bubble.


1. You should ingest around 2300mg of salt per day, or one teaspoon. For terrifying, college-relevant reference, 1/2 a block of prepared Ramen noodles is between 800 and 900mg of sodium, 1 tablespoon of soy sauce is 1000 mg, and an extra crispy fried chicken breast (a healthier alternative to a spicy with) is 1010mg. Basically, say goodbye to the easiest Sans Meal Plan dinner, the toppings on your pho at Andrews Commons, and the entirety of Jo’s.
2. When you add more fiber to your diet, you should also drink more water to help the fiber move through your digestive system.
3. If you are a vegetarian who eats dairy products and eggs, you are a lacto-ovo-vegetarian. That means lacto-vegetarians (who do not eat eggs but do eat dairy), and vegans will have a superiority complex around you.

A History Lesson in Alcohol

1. The first beer brewed in colonial America was made from maize by settlers in Roanoke Colony, Virginia, in 1587. No wonder they mysteriously disappeared—they were all shitfaced.
2. The first law against alcohol consumption in America was set in 1623 in Virginia.
3. Beer is believed to have been made in Ancient Babylonia circa 5000 B.C.

Let us all remember that the only thing that gets a drink out of your system is time – approximately 1 hour per drink.

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Shit we love: Sriracha Vodka

UV_Sriracha_BottleSriracha is in trouble.

First, a judge ruled that Huy Fong Food’s Southern California Sriracha plant must shut down due to neighbor’s complaints that the smell caused headaches. Then, Dining Services implemented a rule barring the usage of spicy with sauces on anything but spicy withs. Say goodbye to your divine 1:30 a.m. Sriracha and fries.

But, just when we thought all was lost, in swoops Phillips Distilling Company to save the day. This insane and delusional genius company decided enough was enough. Someone needed to combine college students’ two favorite liquids. Introducing…UV Sriracha Vodka.

The visionary director of research and development at Phillips, Jim Aune, describes the best pair since peanut and jelly as a “blend of chili peppers, garlic and vegetables.” Sounds like the perfect pre-hook up drink to me! While everyone is probably dying to drink that enticing blend straight, Aune suggests adding it to a bloody mary or any other savory drink.

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Drunk/Sober/High: Freshman Laundry Night

Last Sunday, three brave freshman souls ventured into a deep, dark place: the laundry room of a Pembroke dormitory. One faced the challenge of drunken stupor, another was cast under the spell of an herbal tendency, and the third, and perhaps bravest soul of all, stood bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, intoxicated only by his anticipation for the night that lay ahead. Here is their story (unfortunately, it’s 100% true… literally, 100%).

**The peaks and nadirs of this blurry night were chronicled by a Spotify playlist crafted with love and affection. Click on the hyperlinks throughout the post to truly vibe with Drunk, Sober and High’s experience. Yes, we listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell.**

9:35 p.m.: Drunk, after taking two shots of unidentified water bottle alcohol alone, heads over to Sober’s room.

9:42 p.m.: Drunk sends High aggressive text messages…

 First aggressive text messages of the night9:48 p.m.: Sober pressures Drunk into a third shot. He reminds Drunk that by the end of the night, she is also expected to finish the five Blue Moons awaiting her in his fridge.

9:54 p.m.: Sober is overheard saying to Drunk, “On a scale from one to yakking, I want you to be at an eight.” Fourth shot is imbibed.

10:15 p.m.: High arrives unannounced, interrupting Sober and Drunk’s intense discussion of vintage sweatshirts.

10:18 p.m.: “I’m definitely vibing right now.” –High

10:22 p.m.: “I am a shameless encourager of their intoxication.” –Sober

10:26 p.m.: “We need to do laundry.” –Drunk

10:30 p.m.: Hi-Chew is currently a point of contention. High and Drunk will do whatever they can to get their hands on that mango-flavored goodness. Sober proclaims, “You must unlock the Hi-Chew via higher levels of intoxication.”

10:34 p.m.: Drunk mistakes Japanese eraser for Hi-Chew and begins to consume.

10:37 p.m.: Conversation ensues.

Drunk: “I’m nervous I’m going to make all of my whites pink.”

High: “I did that to other people’s laundry while sober the other day.” Continue Reading

Frosh-cessities: Ten things a freshman learns from Spring Weekend

Spring Weekend lesson from Furby - bring a cup (drank)

Spring Weekend lesson brought to you by Furby: bring a cup (drank)

The slip and slide on Wriston has soapy foam on it: Simple, but now that we know we are definitely rinsing off before class/bringing a towel. The foam party was so two years ago…

Marching bands are sick:  I didn’t think there would be much excitement around opening acts, but getting to the concert early on Friday meant dancing like a maniac for a solid half hour or more. Students got down on the cement with the drummers and pretended they were at Mardi Gras. They made eye contact with the trumpeter and almost got decapitated by the chick with the cymbals… and it was worth every minute. What Cheer? Brigade should come back every year. They are that brassy beat that’s missing from our lives.

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