Last Sunday, three brave freshman souls ventured into a deep, dark place: the laundry room of a Pembroke dormitory. One faced the challenge of drunken stupor, another was cast under the spell of an herbal tendency, and the third, and perhaps bravest soul of all, stood bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, intoxicated only by his anticipation for the night that lay ahead. Here is their story (unfortunately, it’s 100% true… literally, 100%).
**The peaks and nadirs of this blurry night were chronicled by a Spotify playlist crafted with love and affection. Click on the hyperlinks throughout the post to truly vibe with Drunk, Sober and High’s experience. Yes, we listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell.**
9:35 p.m.: Drunk, after taking two shots of unidentified water bottle alcohol alone, heads over to Sober’s room.
9:42 p.m.: Drunk sends High aggressive text messages…
9:48 p.m.: Sober pressures Drunk into a third shot. He reminds Drunk that by the end of the night, she is also expected to finish the five Blue Moons awaiting her in his fridge.
9:54 p.m.: Sober is overheard saying to Drunk, “On a scale from one to yakking, I want you to be at an eight.” Fourth shot is imbibed.
10:15 p.m.: High arrives unannounced, interrupting Sober and Drunk’s intense discussion of vintage sweatshirts.
10:18 p.m.: “I’m definitely vibing right now.” –High
10:22 p.m.: “I am a shameless encourager of their intoxication.” –Sober
10:26 p.m.: “We need to do laundry.” –Drunk
10:30 p.m.: Hi-Chew is currently a point of contention. High and Drunk will do whatever they can to get their hands on that mango-flavored goodness. Sober proclaims, “You must unlock the Hi-Chew via higher levels of intoxication.”
10:34 p.m.: Drunk mistakes Japanese eraser for Hi-Chew and begins to consume.
10:37 p.m.: Conversation ensues.
Drunk: “I’m nervous I’m going to make all of my whites pink.”
High: “I did that to other people’s laundry while sober the other day.” Continue Reading