(((OPEN)))
8:00-11:00 p.m, Hillel Gallery Space
The word “open” is neither an explanation nor an afterthought because it explains nothing — and there was no before-thought, so the parentheses seem a little unnecessary to me. However, this event is going to feature “experiments in your zen garden” and “human q-tips” so I don’t exactly feel comfortable telling them that they’re misusing punctuation.

The Cook
8:00 p.m., Leeds Theater (77 Waterman)
$7, $5 with the coupon that was in your mailbox
Director Kym Moore also directed “The Other Shore” last year, and it was a seriously cool piece of theater, so I’m excited to see what she does with “The Cook.” The show, written by Eduardo Machado (any relation to Antonio?) is set in Cuba in 1958.

Greenberg
6:30 and 8:45, Avon Cinema
If you want to see Ben Stiller rocking his serious face, you better get a move on: this is Greenberg’s last night at the Avon.

Okay, is it just me, or has it been the LONGEST week? All this beautiful weather was lovely during the weekend, but when Monday rolled around, it made it incredibly difficult for me to drag my sorry self to class. All I’m saying is, thank everything that is good in this world that it is (almost. almost almost!) time for the weekend, which means another crop of exciting things to do TONIGHT. And I’m not just saying “exciting” so you’ll be excited. This weekend is packed with truly excellent things for you and me and everyone we know to do. To start us off, Thursday’s picks:

Three Sisters
Production Workshop (7 Young Orchard), 8:00
FREE FREE FREE
I don’t know if you went to see Lulu last weekend (or have plans to see it this week!), but that show left me reeling. And a little sick to my stomach (because of the content, not the production!). And longing for a show that was a little less… aesthetically minded is the phrase I’m sticking with, but absolutely out of its freaking mind is another valid option. “Three Sisters” is the most buzzed-about student production in a long time, but it also promises to be some darn good theater. And it’s a Chekhov play, which means you get that lovely classy & cultured feeling for the price of your (FREE) ticket.

The Last Station
Avon Cinema, 6:30 & 8:50
If tonight’s “What to Do” had a theme, it would be Russian writers form the late 19th century. Thank goodness it doesn’t! I don’t know if you remember me telling you to go see “Crazy Heart” because of my girl crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal, but that’s absolutely nothing compared to my deep, long-abiding love for James McAvoy. Yep, I’m mostly interested in this multiple-Oscar-nominated film because one of the actors is a hot hot hottie with soulful eyes. What of it?

Fusion Dance Show
Alumnae Hall Auditorium, 8:00, $5
Fusion Dance Company has a well-earned rep for putting on electric, high-energy dance shows and it looks like this one will be no exception. It also has the benefit of having nothing to do with Russian writers from the 19th century, so if you’re not into that (although really, how could you not be?), this one’s for you.

Party for Haiti

Blue (523 Water St) 10:00 pm – 1:00 am, $5

Absolutely no chance DJ Pauly D will be there, but nothing takes the sting off of remembering what you did last night like knowing you did it for a good cause! Proceeds go to the Israeli Humanitarian Relief Effort in Haiti, so drink up in the name of philanthropy!

“Crazy Heart”

Avon Theater, 6:30 and 8:50

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been dying to see this ever since the Oscar nominations were announced (plus, I’ve got a big ole girl crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal and she’s supposed to be excellent).

The Wooster Group

Metcalf Auditorium at the Chase Center (N. Main and College), 7:30

The Wooster Group is a visiting “multimedia theater troupe,” and I’m willing to trek part-way down The Hill simply to find out what that means. Knowledge is power, people.

— Anne Speyer