Did you really read Morning Mail? Hillel hosts Bruno’s Bar Mitzvah Bash tonight!

Screen-Shot-2013-04-13-at-2.57

Ever wanted to attend a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, but never had any Jewish friends to do so? Now’s your chance to attend one and party it up like it’s Purim all over again. Despite the fact that Bruno’s clearly older than thirteen, Hillel has decided to throw him the best middle school party you’ve ever been to.

Although I have never heard of these games (Coke and Pepsi, wha? [Ed.-This is Coke and Pepsi. It’s the best.]), it’s sure to be a fun time. Bonus: they’re having free giveaways throughout the night! Extra bonus: the event is free! So ditch those grimy college parties and revert back to your maybe-not-so glorious days with Hillel from 8:30-10:30 p.m. Mazel Tov, friends!


Study break of the day: Jacob tells the story of Hanukkah

As the celebration of Hanukkah came to a close last night, Jacob, Seth Meyers’ podiatrist’s son and a recent Bar Mitzvah, came on Weekend Update to share the story of Hanukkah with SNL viewers. His telling of the bravery of the Maccabees and the evil King Antiochus is done in the way any 13-year-old Jewish boy communicates with a large audience when in the spotlight: he reads so slowly that it hurts and clearly annunciates, thanks the individuals involved in helping him reach this pivotal stage in his life, tells his brother that he still loves him (even though they fight), and makes awkward jokes about his parents. Oh, and like every 13-year-old boy in New York, he likes the Yankees (Ed.- I was a Mets fan).

If you’ve ever been to a Bar Mitzvah before, you’ll know that Vanessa Bayer is so spot-on that it literally hurts. If you haven’t, you’ll realize that you really haven’t missed anything by not having attended one. Mazel Tov!