Thanksgiving Week NBA Preview

Turkey Logo for Thanksgiving Tourney

Well, it’s finally Thanksgiving…

I’m thankful for my amazing, supportive and hilarious family. I’m thankful for Bagel Gourmet Olé’s Chicken Nachos, my favorite Sunday morning hangover food. But most of all, I’m thankful for this NBA season.

This Thanksgiving week, get excited for the times when you can plop down in front of the TV, loosen your belt buckle, and watch amazing basketball games while your vaguely racist uncle spouts questionable phrases like “Does this TV have a brightness setting? I can’t see the players.”

Here are the games you should absolutely watch this week.

Wednesday, November 26: Thanksgiving Eve

Washington Wizards at Cleveland Cavaliers—7:00 PM

If you haven’t watched any games this season yet, this game is probably a pretty solid place to start your 2014-2015 season education. You will hear the announcers discussing a boatload of topics, but the only one you need to think about right now is: WHEN WILL THE CAVALIERS BE GOOD? Dude, seriously. They honestly suck serious balls to watch: their defense is atrocious, their offense is nowhere near the level it should be, and they are one Varejão injury away from resembling a colander trying to stop water from getting through. LeBron can still take over games, but 6-7 after 13 games isn’t where anyone expected or wanted this team to be. Here’s to hoping they start ripping off wins.

Score Prognostication—Wizards: 95, Cavs: 92. One audience learning how to dougie.

Memphis Grizzlies at Los Angeles Lakers—10:30 PM

Wednesday’s late-night game takes the Timberlake-owned Memphis team and pits them against Kobe’s Lakers.  The Black Mamba, no relation to Beatrix Kiddo, is on pace to set the possession usage record that he already holds.  The real reason to watch this game is to see him take 30 shots, and if it’s a good day, he’ll make 18 of them. If it’s a bad day, the red-hot Grizzlies are winning by 40.

Score Prognostication—Grizz: 84, Lakers: 80. Kobe gets 47 of LA’s 80. Continue Reading


2014-15 NBA Season Preview: Part 2

The following is Part 2 of Tucker Iverson’s 2014-15 NBA Season Preview: The Eastern Conference. If you missed it yesterday, Part 1: The Western Conference can be found here.

Last night’s opening games were pretty exhilarating. The defending champs vanquished Dallas in a one-point game and the Magic lost to a huge effort from Anthony Davis and the Pelicans.  The next set of games are tonight at 7:00, and the Cavaliers roll out their new, Love-filled, LeBron-infused lineup Thursday night at 8:00 against the Knicks. Don’t miss it.


Part 2: The Eastern Conference

Miami Heat

Charlotte Bobcats v Miami Heat - Game One

Why they will be fun to watch

THE HEAT POST-LEBRON!! Can Dwayne Wade still put the team on his back, or on his ailing knees? Will the Heat even make the playoffs?  Will Chris Bosh star in the new Jurassic Park film?

All this and more, coming up next season.

Best-Case Scenario

Bosh turns out to be the world destroyer we saw back in Toronto, Wade’s new bionic knees propel him to the slash-and-kick monster he was pre-LeBron, and LeBron decides the whole move to Cleveland was a mistake and comes back.

Worst-Case Scenario

Wade’s health fails, Bosh can’t be a legitimate first option, and Mad Scientist Pat Riley tries desperately to replicate LeBron’s efficiency by genetically combining new team additions Josh McRoberts, Luol Deng, and the ghost of Danny Granger.

 

Washington Wizards

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Why they will be fun to watch

The NBA’s hottest team is Washington. This team has everything. The league’s best backcourt! The Polish Hammer! Old Man Pierce tearing up teams with his treachery! Kim Kardashian jokes! A Brazilian guy with one name! Dr. Andre Miller! And, like, that thing where a guy dresses up in a suit and pretends to be a good coach. The Wizards are so hot right now. Continue Reading


2014-15 NBA Season Preview: Part 1

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The NBA 2014-2015 season is finally upon us. The offseason was invigorating, and the thousands of hours I spent this summer reading about basketball were all leading up to today. There were coaching changes, player swaps, and an owner ousting or two. Melo and Bosh stayed with their teams, but LeBron and Pierce left for greener pastures. Kevin Love and first-overall pick Andrew Wiggins switched franchises, the draft had its powerful moments, big contracts were signed.

Reigning MVP Kevin Durant and Celtics’ star Rajon Rondo got injured while Derek Rose spent the summer rehabilitating from a second ACL tear, having not played more than a month of healthy basketball in two full years. Kobe Bryant also missed time last season, but it’s a safe bet he won’t end the season as the 40th ranked player he is currently projected to be. With an offseason this tumultuous, it just might be the greatest year for basketball since James Naismith threw a soccer ball into a peach basket in 1891.

The following is a two-part guide to the upcoming season. In it, you will find the following: reasons why each team will be fun to watch, what their best-case scenario is for the season, and what the outcome would be if everything went horribly wrong for them. The season tips off with the defending champs (San Antonio Spurs, for those less informed) taking on the Dallas team that took them to 7 games in the playoffs last year. Tonight. 8:00 PM. Don’t miss it.

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An Amateur’s Guide to March Madness

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March Madness is an exciting time for me–a time of blind allegiance and savvy ignorance. Everyone in my close circle either plays basketball or knows more about it than I do. The extent of my basketball experience begins and ends with the Yellow Jackets, my quite defeated 1st grade school basketball team. And my basketball fame begins and ends with that free throw I may or may not have made that one night I vaguely remember. If the past is a story we tell ourselves (thank you, Spike Jonze), I obviously recall this as a golden moment of unrealized 4 ft-high potential.

What is one to do, then, when March Madness rolls around and you feel woefully left out? I suppose one could a) not care, b) care a lot and construct a winning bracket, or c) remain suspended with me in this in-between, desiring to be accepted for the basketball fan that I truly am and yet always excluded from the party, like Benji Applebaum from Pitch Perfect who will never be a Trebblemaker (you’re too good for them, Benji!).

I’m too competitive to create a bracket that obviously won’t win, though I briefly imagine myself picking teams at random and shocking my friends. “Oh, you didn’t expect Mercer to beat Duke? I know you didn’t. Next year, though.”

Instead, I have constructed a guide for those hoping to participate but who have little basketball knowledge to go on (I studied basketball terminology, the Spurs roster, and LeBron’s stats to up my cool factor for last summer’s NBA playoffs). Here is a new way to approach how to decide on a winning team:

North Carolina or Iowa State?
Do I know what a Tar Heel is?: No vs. no
Is baby blue a masculine color?: No vs. I see you, Columbia
Who has the better smile?Bubu Palo vs. Jackson Simmons
Badass coach?: Roy Williams (UNC) or Fred Hoiberg (Iowa State)?
Winner: Iowa State
Methodology: Underdog

Wichita State or Kentucky?
Which colors do I fancy more (or less)?: Black and yellow (Wichita St.) vs. White and blue (Kentucky)
Where could I spend the day?: Wichita, KS vs. Lexington, KY
Who is taller?: Wichita’s tallest is 6-9 vs. Kentucky’s at 7-0
Winner: Kentucky
Methodology: When playing Where in the USA is Carmen Sandiego?, I told myself I would visit Kentucky one day. Lovely statehouse.

Texas or Michigan?
Location, location, location: Austin, TX vs. Ann Arbor, MI
Do I wear burnt orange well?: Maybe vs. no
Am I Austin weird?: Yes vs. I like to think so
Which coach is more intimidating?: John Beilein (Michigan) vs. Rick Barnes (Texas)
Winner: Texas
Methodology: I’m from Houston…fixed election.

Arizona or Gonzaga?
Colors: They’re both white with red and blue (NOW we have to get nitpicky)
Whose athletics page clearly employed a web designer?: Arizona vs. Gonzaga
Do I appreciate Dustin Triano‘s pseudo-mullet?: You do you, kid vs. no
Who has the better name?: Rondae Hollis-Jefferson (Arizona) vs. Rem Bakamus (Gonzaga)
Winner: Gonzaga
Methodology: The mullet pulled ahead in the last second

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Art School(ed): Aesthetes and athletes, art and basketball

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2014 has been a big year for basketball thus far. Just yesterday, BlogDailyHerald got you thoroughly jazzed for the CIT (not the building). In February, a new commissioner graced the National Basketball Association with his presence. Legend Bill Russell turned 80. 2 Chainz and some other guys had a swell time at NBA All Star Weekend in New Orleans. While none of you were watching, the RISD Balls creamed Cooper Union 56-52 in the (first ever) Art School Championship. (As they say, when the heat is on, the balls stick together.) This past Selection Sunday riveted fans once again, and Barack Obama is working hard on his bracket because he has motives this year. In the apparel department (no, not that one), NBA players and fans have been grumbling about the new sleeved jerseys for months. This season, Brown Bears women’s basketball finished with a solid overall record of 10-18, getting one more W (and one fewer L) than they did last season. Of course, the most important ballin’ has yet to come: the Harlem Globetrotters will be making a pit stop in continuing their “Fans Rule” World Tour in Providence on March 28th. I feel faint. 

If all this talk about ball(s) is revving up your creative engines, you’re not alone. It’s tough to study for your History of Ancient Greece midterm when all you can think about is how much you want to express yourself and your love for the game, and we certainly can’t spend all of our time waiting around and hoping that Shaquille O’Neal will guest-curate the next show at the RISD Museum.

Alas, if you’re feeling inspired by the saffron glow of Spalding, whip out your painting palette splattered with all of the colors of Dennis Rodman’s hair, and check out these artists who have been in your size 23, Shaq Attaq shoes, after the JUMPKazaam!

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Sixth Man: Meet your CollegeInsider.Com tournament field!

I guess Jeremy Lin played in this tournament one time when he went to Harvard

Jeremy Lin played in this tournament one time when he went to Harvard

It’s March! It’s Madness! The sportiest of Brown students might know that yesterday was Selection Sunday, when the 68-team field was set for the annual NCAA men’s basketball tournament. Yeah, yeah—YAWN. The real bracket came out hours before. That was the mothafuzzin’ COLLEGEINSIDER.COM TOURNAMENT bracket, featuring your very own Brown University Bears!

There’s actually a pretty decent chance you’ve heard about this game, because the athletic department has been bombarding the student body with emails about it as if there were a Beyoncé concert taking place on the Main Green, when in fact it’s actually a first-round game of the fourth-most important postseason college basketball tournament. Nonetheless, it happened, and Brown is in it. And because we know you’re already at Pizzitola for the free food from Spats and Paragon (!) and exciting basketball (…) and want to know how Brown stacks up, here is a breakdown of the entire 32-team CIT field. Note: CIT is what tournament insiders call the CollegeInsider.com Tournament, not a popular workspace for Computer Science concentrators.

BROWN: Popularly known as the “kill squad” in college basketball circles, some experts forecasted a 28-0 season from the Bears before a few tight games tripped them up on their way to a solid 15-13 finish. Widely acknowledged as the overwhelming CIT favorites.

HOLY CROSS: Brown’s first-round opponents, Holy Cross are nicknamed the Crusaders and finished 19-13. They played a game against UNH in November that was broadcast on the Live Well Network, which is kind of funny.

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