Brown tours re-visited, sort of

So the original idea for this post was to go on a tour, as a current member of the Brown community, and blog about it. Easy. That is until I fucked it up… twice.


First Mistake: I never actually took a Brown tour when I applied. I was recruited for handball so I just told the coach my stats and sent him my mugshot and I was accepted overnight. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. For this article to actually work, I would have to compare my tour experiences from when was a I perspective student to my experience as a current student. To be honest, I completely forgot I never even toured in the first place, until I started on the tour and thought, “wow what an insightful yet unfamiliar experience.”  Then I remembered that when I visited campus with my dad we ended up skipping the tour to eat Nice Slice. Oh, how things haven’t changed.

Second Mistake: This is less of a mistake and more of a weird, humiliating public experience. I snuck my way onto the tour, unbeknownst to anyone that I was an enrolled student, and was en route to a hard hitting, enthralling, and emotionally charged blog post. As I stood there, scrambling notes on all I observed, someone bumped into me from behind and screamed, “Oh shit! You broke my fucking headphones.” The group of 30 prospective students, their helicopter parents, and the three lovely tour guides all turned and looked at me. Confused, I swung around and saw a 12 year old kid and his friends all staring in shock at a now ripped in half pair of Beats headphones.

Quick recap: everyone’s attention is now on me, the creepy and mediocre blogger taking notes, and there is a visibly angry and upset teen, his group of friends, and an allegedly broken pair of neon-green Beats.

The guides managed to start their tour, but the gaggle of friends still lingered. I could feel their angry, pre-pubsencent stares on the back of my neck. “Hey dude, you broke my headphones,” and “What the hell, you ruined my Beats” was yelled at me, but I just kept trying to pay attention and follow the tour.

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