If you left campus for the long weekend, consider never returning. The preposterous pyramid-spawning winter of 2015 has reached historic proportions. Though the weekend blizzard is over, the snow has really started to accumulate. Angell Street’s sidewalk is wide enough for 75% of a human. You can barely see the Ratty from Wayland Arch. The Henry Moore statue will be swallowed by snow drifts any day now. You can climb halfway up a tree on the Main Green by hiking up a snow bank. The poor Circle Dancers might drown!
The herculean efforts of Brown’s and Providence’s workers have helped keep pathways fairly clear — a big thank you is in order to them — but eventually we’re going to have to haul away a lot of this snow. And, since we don’t have this contraption or massive snow farms to haul away winter’s remnants, BlogDH is taking bets on how the University is going to deal with it all:
Dump it in the Bay – 6:1
A simple solution that Boston is considering, but it turns out this is pretty dangerous. Dumping could expose the oceans to rock salt and other toxic materials.
Fill the space-formerly-known-as-the-Gate – 3:2
No word yet on how this old eatery is being used outside of package overload season. An indoor igloo/ice skating complex would be a major upgrade.
ResLife announced yesterday via email that starting this year, the housing lottery will be held online. Get ready for this year’s Housing Games: The Quarter Quell. We applaud ResLife’s move into the 21st century, but we’re also skeptical about their ability to use the internet. How will the new system work? Here are the Blog Odds:
The lottery site will crash – 1:1
After the BSA Spring Weekend tickets debacle, we don’t have much faith.
Brown-Secure will implode once and for all – 2:1
The housing lottery will be a giant game of FarmVille – 75:1
Alternatively, lottery numbers are awarded based on Neopoints.
Housing itself is moving online, and we will all live in cyberspace – 200:1
This is a scheme by last year’s lottery loser so no one shows up to Sayles and she gets first pick – 8:1
The CS concentrators will get all the good housing lottery numbers – 3:1
A.K.A. The Housing Hackathon.
This is a precursor to the next “Hunger Games” book, in which the games are held online and whomever clicks on the Cornucopia fastest wins – 150:1
Obviously, Katniss will win because her Mockingjay pin doubles as a WiFi hotspot.
Beyoncé releases another surprise album at the same time as the lottery and everyone is too conflicted to do anything – 40:1
The online lottery will go smoothly and everyone will live happily ever after – 999:1
As always, may the (Blog) odds be ever in your favor.
While we’ve enjoyed the nice offerings of
Andrews Commons the New Gate these last few weeks, we’ve also lamented the loss of the original Gate’s quaintness, its dim lighting, and its Choco Tacos. It seems, however, that it’s time to move on. What better way to grieve than to speculate recklessly on what will happen next to the now empty space in Alumnae Hall? It’s time for Blog Odds.
New eatery- 25:1
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Student therapy room for Intro to MCM-induced angst and realization of arbitrariness of universe- 200:1
Derrida, Derrida. Foucault.
A refuge for sexiles- 300:1
They need to go somewhere.
Gourmet Hell- 4:1
Our school’s social activity online becomes increasingly weird and intriguing with each new outlet. First we took the step from innocent eyeing to full-on baring. When that got out of hand, we reverted to anonymously complimenting. We got tired of that, so we moved on to criticizing and eventually admiring. Now, as a new semester brings new possibilities of online entertainment, it looks like we’re about to start…scrambling? If you haven’t already, meet Brown Scramblers, the newest entry in Brown students’ eccentric online lineup.
At this point, the whole thing is still shrouded in mystery. The title alludes to the well-documented Senior Scramble phenomenon. The profile’s 515 friends (hopefully all Brown students) are currently staying tuned for the “Big Event.” Its “About Me” and cover photo make it unclear whether it’s referring to sexual exploration or eggs. It turned 21 last week.
We’ve heard a lot of the buzz and theories about Brown Scramblers over at BlogHQ, but we’re still not sure of the profile’s purpose or what this “Big Event” during spring is. Until we figure it out, we’ll enjoy playing the odds. Here are some of our best bets on Brown Scramblers’ endgame:
An event for sexually adventurous seniors to meet each other, make eggs, and make out upside down while wearing beanies- 3:1
The most sound bet based on data gathered from the Facebook page.
A Brown speed-dating event- 7:1 Continue Reading
Despite its friendly employees and dedicated loiterers, Tedeschi has joined the ranks of pizza cones and likely mafia fronts as Thayer Street’s latest casualty. But with each heavily-advertised end comes a beginning, leaving Brown students guessing what will fill the vacancy. The word on campus is that it’s being replaced by a parking lot. Even if the rumor mill’s sources are reputable, there’s still fun in playing the odds. Here are some of Blog’s bets on Thayer Street’s newest addition.
East Side Mini Mart Olé- 3:1
Smoke shop froyo hookah lounge- 1:1 Add burritos and coffee and the rest of Thayer is out of business.
Spectrum India outlet- 20:1
Starbucks- 2:1 They want to tap into the east sidewalk market, and they’ve got the resources to do it.
Cone in a Pizza- 7:1 The inspired entrepreneurs behind pizza in a cone return to Thayer with their latest product.
Officially-designated bike gang loitering station- 10:1
Louisa’s– 5:1 Open from 2pm-5am.
An actual grocery store- 1,000:1