Sleeves are for losers! You’ll be missing out on all of the fun if you don’t get yourself a bro tank. They’re unisex, machine washable and here to stay, so here are some guidelines for navigating the clusterfuck of Facebook invites from your friends and the randoms that are trying to tell you how to dress this month.
Important aside: In order for tanks to be printed by most websites, a predetermined number of people have to place their orders before a specific deadline. If the tanks don’t hit their goal, they won’t be printed and your credit card won’t get charged – but you also won’t get a tank, so keep track of the status of the ones you’ve ordered.
The line-up: (Some of these campaigns have already expired, and of course we couldn’t catalogue them all, but here are some of the big players you’ll be seeing on campus)
Drunkest Kitty — Get ready for their ferocious feline appearance in April. That kitten is cute and drunk–two adjectives that we would love to be synonymous but with humans almost never are.
Ya Bish, Bish Don’t Kill My Vibe, Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe — Have we mentioned that we’re excited to have Kendrick Lamar here on 4/20? You might want to opt for the non-explicit tanks if you’re friends with your grandma on Facebook.
Bruno Drank — Speaking of Kendrick, Stand up, drank. This tank is a must, because you know that our bear statue is going to be getting his drank on. Continue Reading
This Spring Weekend, there is one thing no one should be without:
booze a bro tank. If you have been on Facebook at all in the past few weeks, you have probably seen a number of events with different bro tanks you can purchase. We have taken it upon ourselves to give you the best of the bro tanks, in superlative form! Here’s to hoping your decision about which tank to purchase is easier than your attempt to purchase Spring Weekend tickets…
That Tank is Sooo 10 Years Ago
This superlative goes to the Hey Ma tank in blue for reminding us of Cam’ron’s glory days in ’02.
Most Likely to Blind People
This winner has not one, but TWO tank options for you to choose from. In yellow and orange, Most Likely to Blind People goes to the neon tanks! These tanks are also runner up for That Tank is Sooo 10 Years Ago for their Cam’ron reference, and get bonus points in my book for the Binder reference on the other tank.
Least Subtle in its Party References
Nothing says “party” more than a Solo cup. So with a nod at Toby Keith, the winner of Least Subtle is the Proceed to Party tank. Continue Reading