Lost in Textlation: Brunonia style

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A Brunonian attempting to discern a text’s meaning.

“Hey, wanna meet up?” A casual text, commonly seen around 8 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday nights. This can come in many versions, and is a pretty innocent question. To preface, once upon a time an influential “bro” named Jimmy Tatro attempted to explain the difficulties of getting lost in textlation in a hilarious, on point video describing the intricacies of the college social scene. While it accurately described your average weekend night, Blog thought that some Brown-specific advice could be helpful, helping to navigate some potential situations you could get yourself into. Here are some of these possibilities, and what they might mean for your night.

“Wanna go study at the  ____?”
Sci Li – The SciLi is where dreams go to die – they actually want to study.
Hay – Again, unless they’re going to a side room, they don’t plan on socializing with you.
Rock – Whether it’s on the main floor or carols, they want to get to know you and chat for a bit.
“Wanna go work out at the ____?” 
Keeney/EmWool – They probably don’t know how to work out, and are a bit confused about good fitness spots on campus.
Nelson – They want to impress you, and show off to everyone there.
Bear’s Lair – They actually want to work out, the gym equivalent of the SciLi.

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Things that rhyme: Brown edition

2014 was an exciting time for anyone who had a penchant for clever wordplay, and too much time on their hands. Jews of Brown, Shoes of Brown. Brown Hook-ups, Brown Cookups. Baes of Brown, and then Neighs of Brown. (That one may have been a bit of a stretch.) Have you picked up on the trend? Things that rhyme are hilarious! Comedy, like, in one sentence!!

UnFortunately, it’s a new year, and it’s time to move on to fresh, surely less creative trolls. Some of these Facebook pages have already buckled under the pressure of maintenance, but we wanted to personally nip this in the bud.

From the people that arguably have the most verbal flair, and certainly have the most time to waste, here is an exhaustive list of things that rhyme with Brown Facebook pages.

Jews/Shoes of Brown

Blues of Brown – A page advertising various blues bands and/or Blue Man group wannabes.

Coups of Brown – A platform for those seeking tips in staging a hostile takeover, or who want to discuss their previous results at attempting to overthrow their superiors.

News of Brown – Potential rebranding for the Brown Daily Herald?

Ewes and Gnus of Brown – celebrating the wildlife of Providence.

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Brown Confessions

Brown Obsessions: An online community dedicated to celebrating Beyonce, the word “heteronormative,” and free condoms.

Brown Transgressions: Basically, the same exact thing as the Confessions page.

Brown Impressions: For people who appreciate the soul/R&B group from 1960s. No relation to the ability to impersonate another person’s voice.

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Brown Hookups: An interview with the facilitators

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A few weeks ago, a new group joined the ranks of the Brown Facebook community and started making waves: Brown Hookups. As many of you may have seen, or have heard through the gossip grapevine, Brown Hookups is a matchmaking service facilitated by a group of anonymous students that aims to “hook up” Brown students. Their secure system pairs up users who have expressed mutual interest in one another. They also publish a weekly feature of “Most Desirable” students of the week (those who have been most frequently requested through their submission system) on their Facebook page. With over 1,000 users and a growing online presence, BlogDH was curious to speak with the creators of Brown Hookups in order to find out more about their goals, inspirations, and philosophies on love.

BlogDailyHerald: What was your incentive to start Brown Hookups? What was/is your aspiration for the service?

Brown Hookups: The idea really came from the popularity of online dating recently. Our thought was to create an app similar to Hinge and Tinder, but appeal specifically to the college population, and create a niche in the market by allowing students to have some fun thinking about who actually requested them! We thought people would appreciate an app where the purpose was upfront: a hookup, because that is often what people are actually looking for on these dating sites. We also decided that the idea of keeping people within their own network (in this case, their university) was safer and more comfortable for our intended user base.

BlogDH: For those that don’t know, can you explain exactly how it works?

BH: The first step is to submit the name of someone in the Brown community who you are interested in. You can do this by direct messaging the Brown Hookup (BH) page on Facebook. BH will then send that person a random list of five names, including yours, from the BH friend list. That person will be asked if they are interested in any of the 5 people, and if they respond indicating that they are interested in you, we will create a match. Each person is only allowed to submit one request per week and only one guess. Recently, we also revealed that users can pay $0.99 to guess a second time.

There are few things that people need to understand about how this works. First is that if you friend BH, your name could be randomly selected to be placed in a group of five from which a user can guess. However, the program would never make up a match or lead someone to believe you are interested in them unless you submit a name. So don’t be surprised if your name comes up in a friend’s five potentials even if you did not request them. If they guess you, it will not be a match. But that’s the fun part.

Second is that we are keeping this extremely anonymous and confidential. We have no intention of disclosing any information that is sent to us and we have set up a lot of protection to make sure that does not happen. Hopefully we will have the app programmed soon so everything is completely automatic.

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