Things that rhyme: Brown edition

2014 was an exciting time for anyone who had a penchant for clever wordplay, and too much time on their hands. Jews of Brown, Shoes of Brown. Brown Hook-ups, Brown Cookups. Baes of Brown, and then Neighs of Brown. (That one may have been a bit of a stretch.) Have you picked up on the trend? Things that rhyme are hilarious! Comedy, like, in one sentence!!

UnFortunately, it’s a new year, and it’s time to move on to fresh, surely less creative trolls. Some of these Facebook pages have already buckled under the pressure of maintenance, but we wanted to personally nip this in the bud.

From the people that arguably have the most verbal flair, and certainly have the most time to waste, here is an exhaustive list of things that rhyme with Brown Facebook pages.

Jews/Shoes of Brown

Blues of Brown – A page advertising various blues bands and/or Blue Man group wannabes.

Coups of Brown – A platform for those seeking tips in staging a hostile takeover, or who want to discuss their previous results at attempting to overthrow their superiors.

News of Brown – Potential rebranding for the Brown Daily Herald?

Ewes and Gnus of Brown – celebrating the wildlife of Providence.


Brown Confessions

Brown Obsessions: An online community dedicated to celebrating Beyonce, the word “heteronormative,” and free condoms.

Brown Transgressions: Basically, the same exact thing as the Confessions page.

Brown Impressions: For people who appreciate the soul/R&B group from 1960s. No relation to the ability to impersonate another person’s voice.

Baes/Neighs of Brown Continue Reading

Sextion: Answering your Brown Confession sex etiquette questions


Hello wonderful readers and welcome back for another (a)rousing Sextion post! As springtime approaches (we almost didn’t have snow this week!), things are going to get steamier than the windows in the Nelson on a busy winter day. Recently, I have scoured our lovely Brown University Confessions page and selected some important sex-etiquette questions that deserve some answers. Have any more questions? Feel free to email me at!

Screen Shot 2013-11-18 at 2.16.07 AM

This first question depends on a lot of different factors, as illustrated by this lovely flow chart! Follow it down and you’ll know whether you can simply text the person asking for your item back or give up hope of ever seeing it again.


Continue Reading