Assuming you were able to snag tickets amid the free-for-all online scrum on Monday, it’s still likely that you won’t end up directly in front of center stage. If you want to high five Isaac Brock or kiss/fight Waka Flocka Flame, you’re going to have to get creative. Here are our suggestions for how to get up to the front of a Spring Weekend concert without overtly looking like an asshole:
“Uhhh… I don’t feel so good.”
Proclaim how dizzy and sick you are feeling as you move forward through the crowd. Throw in a “I think I’m gonna…” here and there. If people don’t respond, bend over and cover your mouth with your hands.
Effectiveness:✯✯✯✯✩ Getting puked on is one of many things that can immediately ruin someone’s spring weekend experience. Anyone paying attention will step aside once aware of the ticking vomit-bomb.
Yell “Fuck” while repeatedly covering and uncovering your face with your hands. Pretend that you lost your phone and/or significant other at the front of the crowd.
Effectiveness:✯✯✩✩✩ People on Spring Weekend are generally in a pretty good mood. The sight of someone distressed will conflict with built up positive energy; this might leave them annoyed for a second but they’ll be happy once you’re out of sight.
Get some friends to hoist you atop the crowd and succumb to the will of those underneath you.
Effectiveness: ✯✯✯✯✩ This strategy may not get you to the front but you can make progress if you are persistent. Crowd surfing will also leave a gap between the people behind you, which your friends can use to make their way forward.