Yes. We caved. Blog made a quiz, exactly like those that have become ubiquitous on your newsfeed. But, it’s pretty fitting, considering Blog is just a niche version of Buzzfeed. Without further adieu, we present…
Oh em effing gee. Finally, a quiz that will tell me which Girls character I am. I’m so tired of having this fight with my friends because I’m so obviously Hannah because I want “to feel it all” but of course, everyone wants to be Hannah. They’re like, shut up, you’re totally Shosh. And no one is ever Jessa. Just because you went abroad last semester doesn’t automatically make you any more of a Jessa.
So, let’s see… starting by choosing a frozen snack. That’s clever. Even though it seems totally arbitrary, they’re obviously channeling people who aren’t on meal plan and have to cook frozen food. I’ll take the potato skins. Hannah would totally eat them while trying to write. The sugar free popsicles are totally Marnie.
Which dog would I pet? So, do I choose the cutest? Because I hate petting random strangers’ dogs on the street. I don’t go up to and pet people’s children even though I think babies are much cuter than dogs. Oh, this may be like what dog would each character be. I’ll choose the Toy Spaniel, even though that seems like a Shosh dog. Oh well. I’ll make up for it later.
What do I do if I have a crush on someone…well I can actually base this on personal experience. “Freak out.” That was easy.
As 2013 comes to an end, the Internet is ripe with end-of-the-year “best of 2013” lists: best photos, best songs, movies, and of course, best university confessions. A post on Brown Confessions made BuzzFeed’s Craziest College Confessions of 2013. Which confession? you might ask. None other than “I’ve been faking a British accent since I got to Brown and it’s gotten me so much pu**y.” Satisfied? I personally think there were a lot better ones this semester. So with that, let’s recap the top six confessions of this semester:
- The creep: “I knew the telescope that my grandpa gave me last summer in Weehawken would come in handy. I live in the Keeney quadrangle and some nights, when my roommate is out, I use it to look into the rooms of the girls across the courtyard. Those lollipop undies are so hot. Next time you leave the lights on, keep the shades up, I’ll be watching…”
- The most blasphemous: “I had forgotten that Brown University Compliments existed until a rogue post appeared on my news feed today. Sorry BlogDH.”
- The existential crisis: “I am a senior and I am beginning to F R E A K T H E F U C K O U T about my impending real adult life.”
- The asshole: “I pretend to be on board with my girlfriend’s feminist causes because she is really hot and our sex is great, but also because I know it comes from an insecurity that I can exploit when I need to. Yeah, come at me Brown.”
- The most relatable: “Sometimes I treat myself and I go to the Ratty soda dispenser and I pour a little ginger ale, let the foam sit, and make all these bitches wait for me to pour a little more and let the foam sit again, and repeat until I have a sexy ass full glass of delicious ginger ale.”
- The daredevil: “Just let out a (hopefully) silent 10 second fart in the Absolute Quiet Room at the Rock while wearing headphones. This is how I live dangerously.”
Happy holidays everyone!
Think you’re sexy, cute and fucking smart to boot? BuzzFeed has now confirmed your hubris. According to an index derived from useless rankings from Forbes and DateMySchool, Brown is the Sexiest, Smartest College in the United States of America. With 5th place hotness and 19th place academics, Brown crowded out several other Ivies (including Harvard and Princeton) and the notoriously sexy-smart (?) Carnegie Mellon for the top spot. Take a stomp around the Main Green and breathe in the sultry intelligence that is the Brown student body. Raise your eyes from your computer in the AQR and check out the nubile nerds that populate its silent space. And tonight while you’re making love to a stunning coed, recite some of Plato’s Symposium for good measure.
If you’re a procrastinator student, you probably already know all of the possibilities of intrigue that BuzzFeed has to offer. Among the multitude of cuteness-overloads and eye-opening trips down memory lane, I was delighted to find an article on the site that would, with all success, satisfy my taste-buds as well as my desire for shameless entertainment.
Similar to how everyone wants to learn how to open a beer bottle without touching it, we all want to be able to cook something delicious without having to spend excessive amounts of money or time to do so (in reality, there’s not really a more relevant audience for either of these things than college students). Taking this up a notch, BuzzFeed compiled an extensive list of “34 Insanely Simple Two-Ingredient Recipes,” yes, two-ingredient recipes that actually work. Skeptical? Me too.
Logically, I decided that the best way to verify the truth in this claim was to test out a couple of them myself. No off-campus food shopping was necessary, no recipes were expected to take longer than 30 minutes, and the final products looked promisingly delicious. Sure, the results weren’t exactly what I expected, but you never quite know what you’re going to get when diving into the unknown abyss that is the Internet. Check out the results after the jump.