Is Your Favorite Christmas Song Lawful?

Art School(ed): A 2015 holiday gift list, brought to you by RISD alumni

Winter break is nearly upon us, and with that comes the duty of shopping for your loved ones and drafting your own holiday wish list. Enter: Art School(ed), here to offer unconventional gift ideas (for the second year running) that simultaneously support RISD alums, both newly minted and old.

For your family’s resident knit wit:
What do a woven pizza slice, a fashion world It-bag, and a quirky stuffed donkey have in common? They were all designed or handcrafted by someone who received a BFA in Textiles from RISD.
Degen socks are both merry and bright.
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The winner of The Most Irreverent Gift Money Can Buy Award is a tie between Kayla Mattes’ woven pizza slices and New Friends’ beach towel patterned with sheep and dogs.

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BlogDH’s Holiday Prep Checklist

MariahCareyChristmas

Well, Halloween’s over. As we all throw away our skeleton costumes and struggle to work the residual alcohol out of our systems, we have to remember something very important: Holiday season has just started. We have less than two months before winter break starts, and we really can’t afford to let ourselves fall behind on preparations. Why do you think they’ve already started playing Holiday music on the radio and at the mall? If we don’t get started right now, we honestly won’t be ready in time for Christmas/Hanukkah/any other wintertime tradition. That’s why BlogDH has compiled a list of Holiday preparation necessities that you need to get done in the next week. Check these out, or else your winter break will fall apart. Seriously. This is obviously so urgent.

seeds

  • Plant the seed that will become your Christmas tree. Christmas presents need a place to call home, so you better find some moist, loamy soil to plant that pine seed in or else those presents are going to be homeless.

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  • Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. If we’re making gingerbread cookies, the oven’s going to need about six business weeks to get to the right temperature. Good thing we’re starting so early. In November.

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Art School(ed): A holiday gift list, brought to you by RISD alumni

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This Friday will mark the first day that it is socially acceptable to listen to holiday music. With Handel’s Messiah and Sevivon, sov, sov, sov come all of the trappings of the holiday season: inflated ornaments at the Providence Place Mall, tents lining the parking lots of Best Buy (no, not that Best Buy),  and family members requesting your own Christmahanakwanza wish list.

Art School(ed) is here to help you with the ever-daunting task of drafting up that Christmahanakwanza gift list, drawing only from the fruits of RISD alumni’s labor. After the jump, check out the products crafted and designed by graduates of Brown’s creative neighbor.

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FlogDailyHerald: This unseasonably nice weather

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Downtown should look like this.

I know that this opinion will not be popular, but neither am I. Just kidding, I have lots of friends. But even they probably do not agree with what I am about to say, which is that I am sick of this nice(ish) weather. It is November and I am ready for the slow descent into frigid winter. It’s bad enough that I am writing this on November 12 while wearing sandals, but if it does not snow by Christmas I will fall apart.

The list of reasons why it should be colder outside are as numerous as they are polarizing (that’s a pun) but first and foremost, this mild weather is absolutely KILLING the Christmas (and holiday) spirit. Sorry if you’re from California, but the holiday season is not the holiday season without snow. Just look at some of these (non-religious, I’m half Jewish so calm down) top Christmas Carols:

Winter Wonderland

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We rewrote Bound 2 in honor of Jesse Watters

Jesse and us

Jesse Watters has returned from the depths of the abyss that is FOX News’s New York office to comment alongside Bill “Falafel” O’Reilly on the cancellation of the “giant sex party” that is SexPowerGod. Speculating about why the party was called off, Papa Bear Bill insisted that the decision came from the administration, while Jesse correctly (Ed. I can’t believe he actually corrected the boss-man) pointed out that the University did not shut the party down.

Watters, who is THIRTY-SIX YEARS OLD and still trying to make a career out of alternately hitting on and making fun of college students, chalked the cancellation up to SPG having gotten “a little nasty.” Poor word choice when describing alleged sexual assaults and ER visits that stemmed from the party. Since we don’t want to dignify the clip too much by embedding it in this post, you can watch it here.

O’Reilly jokes on the new segment that Jesse needs to come back because the Brown student populace misses him, but it seems that Jesse misses us. The man has visited us annually for the past three years!

Between drinking games and hard-hitting interviews, BlogDH had almost exhausted our arsenal of potential responses to this guy’s creepy, childish shit. Key word: almost. One thing we hadn’t done is rewrite an infamous Kanye West song to make it applicable to our perverse, long distance love affair with Jesse Watters (a la Seth Rogen and James Franco).

Well, now we (read: Caitlin Dorman ’16) have done that, and it wasn’t too difficult of an adaptation. In fact, there is so much romantic tension between Jesse Watters and us that the most difficult part of the whole process was blending the skin tones of Jesse’s face with Kim Kardashian’s neck.

Jesse, baby, we hope you like it:

Bound 2 (Be on FOX News)

Bound to be on Fox News

Bound to be on Fox News (uh huh Jesse)

 

All the other schools lame and you know it now

When a real school parties, you supposed to frown

 

Bound to be on Fox News

Bound to be on Fox News (uh huh Jesse)

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