When MyPrint Calls You Out

I do not care for the new printing system, not one little bit.

Back in my day, you would upload your documents, they would be uploaded (or not, depending on your luck that day), and you’d be on your merry way. This new printing system… it mocks me with its colorful infographics and self-assured demeanor. “You’ve killed .6% of a tree, how does it feel to be a murderer?” it whispers as I struggle to print off my lab manual. “You’ve emitted 431 g of CO2  this month… I take it you’re not a believer in the Paris Agreement?” it taunts, impervious to my tears. So now, on top of how distraught I am to be doing work in the first place AND in addition to the pain of realizing I’ve started printing a color document on a black and white printer, I have to weep for f@cking mother nature.

I hate to break it to whoever made the new printing system, but the number of pages I print pains me just as much as it pains the environment. Do you think I want to be spending my Tuesday night reading and annotating the 300 pages of post-colonial underwater basket weaving history my professor assigned? Do you somehow imagine that I was happy to put off my 20-page term paper, write it all between the hours of 1 and 8 am, scramble to the SciLi at 8:59 am, and then sprint to my 9 a.m. to turn it in — the page still piping hot in my hand? NO.

Look, I’m not saying that I expect to have the extreme luxury of never feeling guilty. I expect to feel guilty when I make eye contact with the professor of my five-person seminar while waiting in line at the Blue Room—knowing full and well I skipped class that day. I expect to feel guilty when my roommate walks in on me watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, eating olives with my fingers, and giggling uncontrollably at Guy Fieri’s entire personhood. And sure, I even expect to feel a pang of guilt when I’m reprimanded for showing up to Thanksgiving dinner in (only) nipple pasties and fishnets. You know when I don’t expect to feel guilty? When I’m trying to print a paper that was assigned to me — a cosmic act completely out of my control.

If Brown wants to tangibly reduce its carbon footprint, it has to go straight to the top. Not to the Brown corporation itself, not to wildly unregulated megacompanies, not to the elected representatives that refuse to change harmful environmental policy — no — Brown must go to the absolute zenith of power. To the professors.

I promise you, if you tell my professor to stop assigning so many papers, everything will be solved! If I wasn’t printing 16 pages a semester for AMST 1900, I assure you that global warming would be fully reversed by 2020. And don’t even get me started on the two pages I print out every semester for (insert STEM class name). Abolishing readings, papers, and lab manuals is the only logical step forward, and if nothing else, I’m glad that the new printing system has paved the way for us, as a University, to come to this revelation.


Student Group Spotlight: emPOWER, the Brown Concert for Climate Action, and RYSE

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This Friday, emPower, Brown’s umbrella environmental organization, will be hosting the Brown Concert for Climate Action to raise awareness about climate change and its consequences. emPOWER has teamed up with Know Tomorrow, a national campaign partnering with over 50 colleges across the country and started by Brown alum Wendy Abrams ’87. The concert will feature activist Kerry Kennedy ’81 P’17, the beloved What Cheer? Brigade, Voces Verdes- Latino Leadership, Young Hummus, Sons of ProvidenceSebastián ()tero ’18, a video message from Senator Sheldon Whitehouse, and more!

On Saturday, emPOWER will be hosting the Rhode Island Youth Summit on the Environment (RYSE) which will bring high school and college students from across Rhode Island together to foster debate around the current state of the environmental movement and according to the RYSE Facebook event description “challenge our common perceptions of environmental issues.” The RYSE keynote speech will be delivered by Voces Verdes- Latino Leadership in Action. You can also check out a comprehensive list of Saturday’s RYSE events and register here.

Blog connected with emPOWER’s Executive Director Camila Bustos ’16 to learn more about these two events.

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Senator Sheldon Whitehouse will be on campus tonight

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One of the awesome things about going to school in a small state like Lil’ Rhody is the unbelievable access we have to our politicians. Tonight, Senator Sheldon Whitehouse will be on campus to speak about his work in Washington, D.C. and the current state of various pieces of national legislation. According to the Brown Dems’ Facebook event, the Senator will also talk about how young people can get involved in politics. The event is hosted by the Brown Dems and will take place at 8 p.m. in Wilson 101. It’s not every day that a Senator comes to our hill to talk about his work on The Hill, so if you’re around, consider checking it out.

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Tonight: Bill McKibben’s Do the Math Tour

As part of the Do The Math Roadshow Tour, Bill McKibben is coming to Brown tonight to speak to us about fossil fuels. Why? Because fossil fuels suck, and we need to stop burning them, except unlike this uneducated blogger talking at you right now, Bill McKibben knows his shit. It’s gonna be a great event, and it’s gonna have music. For those with tickets doors open at 7; for those waiting to prey on open seating, doors open at 7:45. However, the Extraordinary Rendition Band will play along with other outdoor festivities starting at 6 outside of Salomon. And who dragged convinced Bill McKibben to stop by campus? Brown Divest Coal, an awesome student group that is actually trying to make changes happen with where the university gets and puts its money (you probably know them from their omnipresent flyers and their spam-worthy volumes of emails).

Being concerned/pissed off that we are now getting a storm of the century every year doesn’t warrant a condescending Facebook status about global warming, but it does warrant you going to check out this event. If you can’t get into Salomon 101, there is a simulcast in Salomon 001. Check out the tour here: Do The Math Tour

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Remember that time it snowed two months too soon?

It’s climate change, betches! I don’t mean to sound excited about that, but for any non-believers out there — the snow that fell on Saturday, October 29th better have rocked your world. And if that wasn’t enough to get you thinking, this snowfall was NYC’s earliest since 1869. In the dialogue about climate change, there’s a lot of emphasis on the global warming bit, but the truth is that our climate is changing in a lot of other extreme ways, too. In case you haven’t noticed, winters have been colder and longer in the past few years. Remember how long it took to whip out our short shorts last spring? Hate to break it to ya, but chances are that it’ll be the same deal this year. So why, exactly, is global warming causing fucking freezing cold winters that start in October? Let me break it down for you:

Note: this is the oversimplified version of the explanation, get at me for the dirty deetz. 

1. ice caps are melting because of higher global temperatures

2. as ice sheets melt, less of the heat on earth can be reflected back out

3. wait doesn’t that mean it’s getting hotter?  Continue Reading


College Hill gets a visit from Capitol Hill

Any biology-and-political-science double-concentrators hard at work in the depths of Sidney Frank Hall may have gotten a surprise treat Friday afternoon: none other than Rhode Island’s junior senator was in town and paying a visit to the building.

Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse, a Democrat elected in 2006, visited campus Friday afternoon to tour the building (better known to students as the LiSci) and meet with deans and researchers.

Included on the agenda:

  • A meeting with Dean of Medicine Edward Wing, Vice President for Research Clyde Briant, and director of Governmental Relations Tim Leshan
  • A discussion of climate change with Professor of Geological Sciences Jack Mustard and Professor of Biology Joanna Schmitt, who directs Brown’s Environmental Change Initiative

(Continued after the jump.)

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