I had a fairly idyllic high school experience. Having gone to a nerdy magnet school, I was able to have a modicum of popularity, and I seized it: I played the Fairy Godcalculator in the high school skit (I can make all your trignometry wishes come true!) and hosted cool balloon animal-themed parties. Every year, I return to the Washington D.C. area excited to revisit my roots and perhaps have an unedited LOTR marathon. And for the most part, it’s been great.
But college has not worked in everybody’s favor. Sometimes, you return for break and find that a university has taken your high school besties and created… monsters. And not in the way of the most anticipated blockbuster of summer 2013.
It’s only upon returning to Brown that one can come to appreciate how these monsters function. Through observations, hearsay, and a couple of incredibly awkward parties, I have compiled a list of the most monster-like high school archetypes: [Read more →]