How to get off the waitlist

waitlistInterests at Brown may vary, but for anyone who dabbles in electives, the desire to get into a class off a waitlist is nearly universal.

Maybe you’re an underclassmen, and your dream class was filled before you even got the chance to register. Maybe you’re a lazy senior who didn’t feel like waking up at 8 a.m. to solidify your shopping cart. While some have walked into a classroom they didn’t have a spot in, thought, “this syllabus is [insert fire emoji]”, and immediately started plotting on how to secure that override, others get immediately intimidated by that throng of people huddled by the door and decide to try their luck elsewhere. We’re here to help.

Sort of. We’re probably legally, and certainly morally obligated to suggest that you don’t try any of the methods listed below (although some of them are actually…good ideas?). But, for those of you that have more than a drop of Slytherin in their veins, here are some quasi-acceptable (read: not at all acceptable) ways to get off of those waitlists.

  • Fake an email to half of the registered class that the registrar has switched the room assignment. Reap the benefits of their naivety.
  • Legally change your name to whoever holds the first spot on the waitlist.

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What we’re reading


On Saturday, the world celebrated Pi Day. This year’s celebration, on 3/14/15, was particularly special because even the year corresponded with the first digits of pi: 3.1415. But what does it all mean? The New Yorker essay, “To Pi and Beyond,” attempts to demystify the infinite nature of pi and explores some new discoveries concerning the recurrence of prime numbers.

In Egypt, President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi is planning on building a new capital city from scratch. The Atlantic reports that the estimated $45 billion plan will be carried out by Capital City Partners, a Dubai-based private investment fund, which constructed Dubai’s Burj Khalifa. Cairo has been the capital of Egypt for over 1000 years. The proposed new capital is leaving people wondering what the future will bring.

The New Yorker‘s “Richer and Poorer: Accounting for Inequality” gives us an in-depth analysis of income inequality in the United States. Jill Lepore previews and reviews upcoming and recent literature discussing American history in terms of inequality.

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BruNews Round-up: WTF Washington?, crackdowns, and ch-ch-ch-changes

Are you sick of reading dry news articles? Do you cringe at the notion of logging onto a mainstream news source? Fear not, for Blog is now officially fulfilling that role. We know, bold move. We’ll be hitting you up every Monday with BruNews Round-up, a collection of all the latest news and musings of the world. Read it and weep, New York Times – your reign is over. currenteventslogo

WTF Washington?: Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably know that our government is currently shut down. The shutdown began last Tuesday, which marked the beginning of a new fiscal year. As a result of the shutdown, 1.8 million people were either furloughed or asked to work for no pay. Since Tuesday, the House has passed a bill that will give retroactive pay to these 1.8 million people, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear end to the shutdown in the works. Also in Washington: On Thursday, a woman ran her car into a White House gate in an attempt to break through. After a 12-block chase past the Capitol building, the woman was critically wounded and ended up being captured. Her 18-month-old daughter in the car with her during the chase and was ultimately was safe. Adding to this list of incidents taking place in Washington, a man lit himself on fire on the National Mall on Friday. The man was rushed to the hospital but died from his injuries. Self-immolation sends one hell of a message (New York Times). Continue Reading

State of the City: Spotlight on crime


Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife—a crime spree is devastating local businesses.

Beef thief. A supermarket thief is currently on the lam after stealing $320 in porterhouse steaks from a grocery store in Franklin, MA, WPRI reported. The store’s surveillance videos show a man leaving the store with 26 steaks. Is the thief hosting the world’s most epic barbeque, or does he just have the world’s worst black eye? Either way, the stakes have been raised in the meat theft game.

Dick’s hurting after stolen balls. A golf ball theft is chipping away at the profits of Dick’s Sporting Goods in Smithfield, RI. Last week, a woman made off with eight boxes or more than $380 worth of golf balls, WPRI reported. The woman is currently on RI’s list of Most Wanted criminals. Continue Reading

WTF happened in Jo’s on Saturday night?

In what can only be described as an episode of Cops: Brown Edition, a student was arrested on Saturday night after an altercation with police. It seems as though the intoxicated student thought the BDS worker was a little too slow dishing out snacks during an otherwise uneventful impromptu Jo’s rager. The student was pinned to the ground by police officers after he refused to leave Jo’s when asked to do so.

While we were hoping that a DPS crime report would help inform us about what went down, our parent publication has picked up the slack; see this web update by The Herald for more information.

(Weird) crime@Brown, part 3: Larceny edition

Curious about the photo?

Though we’ve taken a break since our last “informational” report on the crime scene at Brown, crime has kept on coming in vast waves… kind of like hurricane Superstorm Sandy (Cohen). Time to catch up, Brunonians!

12 December ’11, 8:09 a.m.:  This Shit is Bananas… literally

This is a personal favorite of ours—the assistant director of the Creative Arts Center said that persons unknown entered the building and a stole a banana-shaped pillow that was part of Brown student’s art project. She sent out an e-mail to the building staff asking if anyone had seen said pillow, but no one was able to provide any information. We have concluded that this must be a crime of vengeance from the Fruit of the Loom gang. If not, we simply don’t understand the rationale behind this.

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