Are you sick of reading dry news articles? Do you cringe at the notion of logging onto a mainstream news source? Fear not, for Blog is now officially fulfilling that role. We know, bold move. We’ll be hitting you up every Monday with BruNews Round-up, a collection of all the latest news and musings of the world. Read it and weep, New York Times – your reign is over.
WTF Washington?: Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you probably know that our government is currently shut down. The shutdown began last Tuesday, which marked the beginning of a new fiscal year. As a result of the shutdown, 1.8 million people were either furloughed or asked to work for no pay. Since Tuesday, the House has passed a bill that will give retroactive pay to these 1.8 million people, but there doesn’t seem to be a clear end to the shutdown in the works. Also in Washington: On Thursday, a woman ran her car into a White House gate in an attempt to break through. After a 12-block chase past the Capitol building, the woman was critically wounded and ended up being captured. Her 18-month-old daughter in the car with her during the chase and was ultimately was safe. Adding to this list of incidents taking place in Washington, a man lit himself on fire on the National Mall on Friday. The man was rushed to the hospital but died from his injuries. Self-immolation sends one hell of a message (New York Times). Continue Reading
Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife—a crime spree is devastating local businesses.
Beef thief. A supermarket thief is currently on the lam after stealing $320 in porterhouse steaks from a grocery store in Franklin, MA, WPRI reported. The store’s surveillance videos show a man leaving the store with 26 steaks. Is the thief hosting the world’s most epic barbeque, or does he just have the world’s worst black eye? Either way, the stakes have been raised in the meat theft game.
Dick’s hurting after stolen balls. A golf ball theft is chipping away at the profits of Dick’s Sporting Goods in Smithfield, RI. Last week, a woman made off with eight boxes or more than $380 worth of golf balls, WPRI reported. The woman is currently on RI’s list of Most Wanted criminals. Continue Reading
In what can only be described as an episode of Cops: Brown Edition, a student was arrested on Saturday night after an altercation with police. It seems as though the intoxicated student thought the BDS worker was a little too slow dishing out snacks during an otherwise uneventful impromptu Jo’s rager. The student was pinned to the ground by police officers after he refused to leave Jo’s when asked to do so.
While we were hoping that a DPS crime report would help inform us about what went down, our parent publication has picked up the slack; see this web update by The Herald for more information.
Curious about the photo?
Though we’ve taken a break since our last “informational” report on the crime scene at Brown, crime has kept on coming in vast waves… kind of like
hurricane Superstorm Sandy (Cohen). Time to catch up, Brunonians!
12 December ’11, 8:09 a.m.: This Shit is Bananas… literally
This is a personal favorite of ours—the assistant director of the Creative Arts Center said that persons unknown entered the building and a stole a banana-shaped pillow that was part of Brown student’s art project. She sent out an e-mail to the building staff asking if anyone had seen said pillow, but no one was able to provide any information. We have concluded that this must be a crime of vengeance from the Fruit of the Loom gang. If not, we simply don’t understand the rationale behind this.
“Why did I move here? I guess it was the weather.”
Check out this just-released spot for Grand Theft Auto V, which looks to be the most cinematic of the games yet. The story appears to ditch GTA IV protagonist Niko Bellic and Liberty City for a return to Los Santos, the franchise’s answer to L.A., last featured in San Andreas.
A release date has yet to be announced, but here’s to hoping it coincides with summer break (or reading period…)!
There was too much crazy to be contained in one post.
8 Nov ’09, 9:49 p.m.: Two female Brown students stated they were on the basement level of the Rockefeller Library studying in a work station when they noticed a middle-aged male talking on a cell phone. When one of the females took a closer look, she realized the male had his penis exposed and was looking directly at her. The subject fled on foot. Officers searched the area with negative results. … Rock masturbator, John Street masturbator. Clearly, masturbators love hipsters.
18 Sept ’09, 2:26 p.m.: Complainant reported that half of her ice-cream birthday cake was stolen from a refrigerator in a common area in Sidney Frank Hall. The incident occurred sometime between 3 p.m. on Sept. 17 and 2 p.m. on Sept. 18. She also reported that other food items were also stolen from the refrigerator in that area in the past couple of days and months prior, that belong to other students that work in the labs on that floor. The common area room does not have a lock on that door and access can be gained by anyone. … What was I supposed to do when I saw half of a birthday cake in a fridge?! Continue Reading