"Shakespeare is DOPE."

Shopping period professor stereotypes

Between our furious Banner browsing and taxing marathon schedules, it’s easy to forget that there’s another side to shopping period. Professors, like us, are faced with a frustrating beginning to their semesters as students flood their aisles and inboxes. We have our ways of coping with the chaos, and so do they. Any experienced shopper will have noticed that Brown’s professors gravitate towards a few different strategies to deal with the pressures of shopping period. We’ve compiled three common ones here. You’d be hard-pressed to find a student who hasn’t run into one of these characters during their Brown career.

The Intimidator:

“Are you registered? Get out of my class.”

Many college professors seem to have lost their fuzzy exteriors around year six of graduate school, but this shopping period classic kicks up the cynicism a few decibel levels during shopping period. If you’re not registered, sitting in the aisle, or missing a textbook by day two, the prof doesn’t want you there. And he’s not afraid to let you know. He revels in cutting his waitlist until only the fittest have survived. If you want to take his class, keep in mind that it’s just an act. Chances are he’ll lighten up a bit once people stop emailing him for overrides. 

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Students who do cool things: Pokémon Brown University

If you’re short on Magic School Bus clips to feed your nostalgia trips, “Pokémon: Brown University” is here to bring you back to days of VHS tapes and Lunchables. After all, you’re never too old for Pokémon, especially if it comes with a unhealthy dose of school love.

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