(Facebook) relationships are hard, and breakups are harder

twophones

Facebook is testing a new feature, which supposedly allows you to “manage your interactions with your ex.” What does that mean? Among other things, you can control how often you see your old flame in your newsfeed, message bars and suggested tags, all without them knowing. 

An electronic way to get over your ex on FB may sound stupid and childish, but admit it: things were way easier before you were basically prompted to follow their every move. If you have been constantly searching for and interacting with, say Christina Paxson, and then things go sour when you find out she’s married, Facebook won’t know that. Internet suggestions function on algorithms, so for all the website thinks, CPax and you are still tight. It will keep on asking you to tag her in stuff even though it is breaking your heart! Eventually, the algorithms would take into account your lack of interaction with her, and she would stop flooding your interface.

Now, instead of waiting for time to heal all stalking habits, FB and you can finally have the dialogue where you say, “Mark Zuckerberg, you just don’t get it, I can’t look at them right now.”

Sounds pretty great, right? Unfortunately, there’s a catch. This development is only at its testing stage for US mobile users, so the relationship had to have been FB official before the feature can be applied. Oh gosh, who has heard of someone’s relationship being sanctified by the grace of Facebook post the tenth grade?

For the sake of journalism (a BlogDH way of saying “an excuse for all of our dumb antics”), we knew what we had to do. Two random bloggers would have to throw it back to their early teens, enter a fake relationship on Facebook, publicly break up, and then explore this feature in first person, on their phones.

 

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A brief guide to Senior Scramble

The dead of winter immediately after holiday sweets may not seem like the ideal time for romantic intrigue, but for some of the student body, bulky coats and indoor dates are going to have to do.

Snow suits

An outfit that could never fail to stir the heart

For the uninitiated, “Senior Scramble” describes the phenomenon that occurs when a student (hereafter referred to as the Scrambler) beginning their last semester of college realizes that they live in a place full of interesting and attractive people who are close to the Scrambler’s age and part of their social circle (if only loosely), and that this utopia will cease to exist for the Scrambler within five months’ time. In response to this alarming realization, the Scrambler must throw caution to the wind and act on any attractions they have harbored but never had the courage to pursue. Senior Scramble is a social adrenaline rush; the knowledge that you’ll never have another chance to talk to that unfairly attractive person you had a class with sophomore year is galvanizing. We can’t all be the cure for Alex Turner’s January blues, but we can do something about our own. Here are a few tips and recommendations to help you get in the correct mindset for this semester.

(Note: I’m assuming your crush is single, or that you have no knowledge of their relationship status at all. If you’re attempting to get Jessie’s girl, that’s an entirely different game. I don’t feel I can wish you good luck, scoundrel, but I won’t wish you ill fortune either.)

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Sextion: The spring fever hookup guide

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BlogDailyHerald is proud to introduce our newest Sextion writer, David Johnson!

The season of the Polar Vortex was all about cuddling, sipping hot cocoa, binge watching “House of Cards” with your significant other, and basically using their body heat to save on your gas bill. Now that it’s getting warmer, the birds and the bees are back, frisky squirrels are chasing each other around the Main Green, and breakups are a dime a dozen (I’m looking at you, Senior Scramblers). In the animal kingdom, we call this mating season. In college, we call it Spring Fever.

Luckily, Spring Weekend is just around the corner — the perfect opportunity for curing our Spring Fever. Now that walking to a party across campus doesn’t feel like March of the Penguins, the tanks are breaking out, and maybe even some shorts. Everyone’s attitude says sun’s-out-gun’s-out, so if you are interested in getting busy romantic, this weekend is all about letting loose and having fun. It’s a great time to break the ice with someone new — maybe even someone you’ve been secretly crushing on. When the options range from Chance to Binder to Fratty in the Ratty, how do you know where your perfect guy/girl will be raging? Use this field guide to find out.

The Hipster Heartbreaker

Found at: Chance the Rapper

The Hipster Heartbreaker is that DGAF kid that you have been crushing on forever. Probably more “Prepster” than a true RISD Hipster, you first saw them while stalking your class Facebook page the summer before arriving at Brown, and since then, they have proved to be even cooler than you imagined. The Hipster Heartbreaker is trendy and intelligent, probably concentrating in MCM or Comp Lit, and has a Georgia O’Keeffe coffee table book in the living room of their Barbour suite. Despite your better judgment, you can’t help crushing on them. They have gone through numerous partners over the years because no one can seem to keep up with them. But you’re sure that you can.

How to spot: The Hipster Heartbreaker is wearing an awesome Spring Weekend tank that you totally didn’t see when you were choosing which one to buy. They have that casually perfect “I woke up like dis” look, making you wonder, “did you wake up like that?? And why the heck can’t I?!” The Hipster Heartbreaker is either wearing a knit beanie or has hat hair (the sexy, pushed back kind) because they just took it off.

How to break the ice:

  • Stand next to them and say loudly: “I mean, my cousin went to high school with Chance the Rapper in Chicago so like… I’ve basically known about him since 2011.”

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Kelkar ’15 on interracial dating

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This is the first entry in our new column highlighting the voices and experiences of people of color on Brown’s campus. This post, by Krishnanand Kelkar ’15, focuses on interracial dating.

I wasn’t your typical kid growing up. Let’s just say it’s not very often you find a Catholic-educated, gay, half-Indian, half-Caucasian guy who speaks Japanese. On the other had, my boyfriend grew up with a more typical experience, especially in the context of Brown. He’s from an Italian and Irish family, grew up on Long Island, and went to public school. Our backgrounds are different, and at times it has caused rifts in our relationship.

The most obvious difference is our race. I remember one of the first times I held his hand, I looked down at our laced fingers and told him, “Wow, my hands are so dark in comparison to yours.” The “wow” seems unnecessary, but for me it was a bit shocking. Being half-Indian means I have always been complimented on my light skin—something India is obsessed with. And his hands are starkly lighter than mine; not to mention they are so soft, and mine are so hairy. With each new step we took physically with our relationship, I was thinking about how different my Indian features are from his white ones.

But the differences go beyond skin deep—being in an interracial relationship has had its difficulties. One time in particular, my friends, including my boyfriend, were talking with me and, out of nowhere, they made racist remarks towards me. They meant no harm by it, and they didn’t know what they were doing, but that’s exactly the point. In our society today, the idea that “race doesn’t matter” is so prevalent that, even amongst the educated at Brown, who consciously acknowledge the role race plays in life experience, there are many people who do not recognize that they’ve internalized this “beyond-racism” mentality.

I was wounded. People I have come to love and respect over the past 3 years managed to hurt me in a matter of minutes. And so there I was, hurt but paralyzed, unable to blame them even though it was their fault. For the first time, I felt I couldn’t tell my boyfriend the truth. I harbored my feelings of exclusion and kept them to myself. I hoarded my resentment.

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M and J’s blind date

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M, an international relations concentrator, was on the hunt for a true intellectual. J, a self-described “born entrepreneur,” is an international traveler. We figured they’d enjoy each other’s company and have plenty to talk about (we were right), so we set them up on a Tealuxe date…

“Brown can feel pretty small.” -J

M: A few of my friends signed up together. Is the phrase “do something every day that scares you” too cliché? Because that’s why I felt like doing this. That’s what got me out of bed that morning.

J: I wanted to meet someone new on campus. Meeting someone outside of normal friend groups can be difficult. I also like pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. The whole blind date thing was a first for me, and definitely pushed my boundaries.

“It was truly a blind date, someone I hadn’t had in any of my classes.” -M

J: I didn’t have any expectations. I was excited to meet someone new, and was planning on going with the flow.

M: I didn’t expect much. I was really hoping he wouldn’t be someone I knew before, and I was really surprised when I had actually never see [him] in my life. It was great.

J: She was super outgoing. We had both lost our Blind Bears name tags, so finding each other was interesting.

M: He’s nice-looking and also a nice person, and I was still so happy that I had never seen him before. I thought he must be an upperclassman; he just had that look.

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Blind Bears: O and N’s Blind Date


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O’s and N’s bios had fun written all over them. These two extroverts were looking for a good sense of humor, positive vibes, and someone who enjoys dancing. If this gal and guy were emojified, they would definitely be the red-dress-clad flamenco dancer and the party popper emoji respectively. While we would have loved to send them to salsa lessons or a rave, we settled for coffee at Blue State.

“I figured I have nothing to lose.” -O

O: “My friend was extremely enthusiastic about signing up for Blind Bears, and passed that enthusiasm onto me… I’ve never been on a blind date before, and since I’m being matched with someone at Brown, they must be relatively similarly minded to me. So, I told myself to just do it!”

N: “I wanted to see how well it worked! And for the experience, since I’ve never gone on a blind date before. And I love meeting people, so it just sounded fun.”

O: “Honestly, I went in not expecting much. I saw two outcomes out of the situation — either I really hit it off with some guy on a blind date and it could lead to something, or I gain a new friend at Brown.”

N: “I wasn’t sure what to expect — I was torn between believing you guys would do dreadfully and it would be really awkward, and believing you guys were gonna kill it and it would be an awesome fit.”

“We talked like old friends from the get-go.” -N

O: “I could tell he was really nervous… a) because his forehead had a bead of sweat and b) because he was anxiously looking around Blue State trying to find me. Thankfully he took the [Blind Bears] name tag off immediately after sitting down, and we had an awesome conversation!”

N: “[My first impression was] definitely very positive. She seemed very talkative and nice and put me completely at ease immediately.”

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