I don’t think it’s controversial to say that the VDub is a better dining hall than the Ratty. While the lack of weekend hours can be a real bummer, most of the fare is of consistently higher quality than Ratty analogues. The bagels, for example, are massively superior at the VDub. I need not even mention the glory of Chicken Finger Friday, which consistently draws an enormous crowd. Unfortunately, all is not beautiful and pure there; something sticks out of the the rest of the scrumptious offerings, impinging upon the senses with its low quality. I speak, of course, of the fruit.
Lucifer’s going to have a hell of a job getting me to eat this one.
Green, brown, the occasional odd shade of orange. Most of the fruit at the VDub is stunted, sour, and inexplicably substandard. Where the fruit at the Ratty is usually high quality, the counterparts at the VDub at like some sort of twisted reflection of what fruit should be. Of all the fruit that gets put out, only the oranges and, on occasion, the bananas have been satisfactory on any consistent basis. I recall one halcyon day when there were actually good apples, visions of beauty that shall not come again.
Is this simply a matter of balance in the world? Must the rest of the VDub’s greatness come at this terrible price? No, I can’t accept this. I know it can do better. Is this like a sibling situation, where the VDub gets the hand-me-downs that the Ratty won’t use? Surely some of the Ratty’s golden apples could be spared for our favorite Pembroke dining hall.
Disappointing fruit is a terrible thing. Crisp, fresh fruit can be the factor that makes a breakfast worthwhile. I don’t see any reason why the VDub ought to languish in mediocrity. Whatever harvest deity watches over Pembroke needs to get of their lazy ass and do something about this.
Image via Steve Dowd ’15
Ah, chicken finger Friday: the long lines, the weekly arrival of honey mustard at the VDub, and, much to my chagrin, the consistent absence of fries. Why does the VDub, which seems to serve fries every other day and meal of the week, decide to forgo the crispy potatoes on chicken finger Friday, when it would be most obvious to include the oily side dish?
Chicken finger Friday is a staple of Brown dining, so much so that it caused a slight panic when cancelled, and uproar when moved, unannounced, to a different weekday. It’s marked by the noon and 1 p.m. rushes, the long line on the “ice cream machine” side of the VDub, and the forgotten, near-barren line on the “waffle maker” side.
Where are the fries??
Lucky for you all, I know the answer to the question that has been keeping you up at night. No, it’s not the pressing matter of “Do they like me back?” or, “Did I just fail my midterm?” or even, “Should I go out tomorrow night?” But rather, I can provide you with the long-sought answer to: “If the dining halls were rappers, who would they be?” See below, and thank me later.
Andrews Commons = Drake
“Started from the bottom, now we eating pho.”
Andrews Commons is the hottest dining hall on the scene right now. It’s young, fresh, and multi-cultural. I have even heard that Andrews was on Degrassi for a while, but I’m not sure, that could just be a rumor. But in all seriousness, AC and Drake are so clearly twins (Can a person and a dining hall be twins? In this case, I’ll argue yes). Drake is everyone’s guilty pleasure, and Drake and AC can both provide happiness until the wee hours of the night. Whether you are feeling sad, hungry, happy, tired, defeated, or lonely, Drake is there for you. Slip in some headphones and bump some “Nothing Was the Same,” “Take Care,” or “Thank Me Later,” and all suddenly becomes better. Andrews provides the same source of solace; whether you are craving some nacho pizza, pho, ageless sushi, mystery calzones, or a beastly grinder, it has your back and never asks, “Are you sure you want all of that?” Finally – Drake hates breakfast, and Andrews Commons does not serve breakfast. He even raps about it –“Bank account statements just look like I’m ready for early retirement…I hate breakfast.” ‘Nuff said.
Interesting things are afoot within the V-Dub. If you’ve been by the coffee dispensers at any point within the past few weeks, you may have noticed that the familiar Cafe Blend has been replaced by an intriguing new variety, one that’s guaranteed to get all you Bears out there Buzzing with excitement (you know they thought long and hard about that one).
According to sources within Verney-Woolley, Bear Buzz possesses approximately the same amount of caffeine as Cafe Blend (the exciting ‘Buzz’ label notwithstanding) but contains a differing blend of Arabica and Colombian beans. We sent our resident coffee expert to get the final verdict on Bear Buzz’s quality: Continue Reading
Diners at the V-Dub today will quickly notice that the normal, reusable tableware has been temporarily replaced by disposable dishes. The dishwasher is on the fritz, according to signs up in the dining room, leaving Brown diners with no choice but paper plates.