Now available as bro tanks

As our soon-to-be President ushers in an era of joy and prosperity (and hopefully some sweet rave parties), we at BlogDailyHerald think it’s only fitting that she get the same t-shirt treatment that Ruth Simmons did. In the spirit of hope and cooperation, and the desire to get some pressure put on the Ratty to shelve corn muffins forever, we offer you something that will make the guys at Threadless go crazy.  Feel free to use it in future campaign slogans (but tell ‘em BlogDH sent ya).

In a semi-cryptic email that went out to the entire University this morning, Chancellor Tisch stated that he would make an important announcement regarding the University’s “future leadership.”

“Dear Members of the Brown Community,

Please join me today at noon in Sayles Hall for an important announcement regarding the University’s future leadership. I invite those unable to attend the event to view a live webcast of this historic moment.

Members of the community are also invited to a reception in Leung Gallery in the Stephen Robert ’62 Campus Center immediately following the announcement.

Sincerely,

Thomas J. Tisch
Chancellor”

Come noon today, we just may have a new president-elect, Brunonia.

The sun rose this morning and brought with it Chancellor Tisch’s email about the next step towards new leadership at Brown. It is only fitting, then, that we herald the impending announcement of a new president with ”A Glorious Dawn,” Carl Sagan’s autotuned vision of hope and galactic inspiration (feat. Stephen “Hots McGee” Hawking). Forth, Brunonia!

If you’re feeling particularly gratuitous and/or generous today between 12 and 2 pm, stop by the Chancellor’s Dining Room in the Ratty and leave Ruth Simmons a video message at the “Ruth Booth”…. and maybe donate some money to the Annual Fund, too. This is a great opportunity to show Ruth your appreciation, wear your T(ruth) t-shirt and let her know how much of a boss you think she is. Representatives from the Brown Annual Fund will be standing by to provide information and answer questions about the Million Dollar Milestone: A Record for Ruth. If the fund gets a record-setting 34,317 donors to make gifts this year, the Corporation has promised to contribute an additional $1 million.  

Image via.

Ted Turner ’60 — just look at that ‘stache.

The search for Brown University’s next president is bound to be an arduous, painful process, as the committee figures out which candidate will be able to make the University the most money while simultaneously carpet-bombing the collective soul of all humanities concentrators.  But why must they choose from people with experience in managing institutions of higher ed?  After all, that hasn’t really proved to be an ironclad route to success.  Here are five candidates who undoubtedly know nothing about running a University, but who would allow us to get more excited when we see “Letter to the Community from President ______” in our inboxes.  Plus, they’re all alums.  Hooray for institutional nepotism!

1.  Lois Lowry ’58.  Yeah yeah, she dropped out her sophomore year to get married, whatever.  More important is the fact that she wrote that book we all read in fourth grade.  The one with Gandalf on the cover?  It won the Corndog Medal or something?  Point is, if we hand Lowry the helm, perhaps we can finally get some goddamn closure regarding the ending of The Giver.  I for one really want to know what happens after the protagonist and his mysterious baby friend go on that hypothermia-induced sled ride, and whether he eventually hooks up with that girl (the one who he hoped would start stripping down in an old folks’ home).  So much good thesis material there.  [Read more →]