Presumably aboard a T3 Motion Scooter, Brown DPS just sent an e-mail this afternoon to the campus about safety during reading period/finals. While I know they’re just trying to be helpful, I can’t help but think that some of their advice will be misconstrued:

Trust your instincts.
If your head says no, but your body says yes, just go with it.

Pay attention to your surroundings.
If you’re walking to the V-Dub, don’t forget to stop at Spiritus on the way.

Stay in populated, well-lit areas.
Raves are good.  Libraries, not so much.

There is safety in numbers.
If somebody else is doing something, it’s OK. Remember, it’s not illegal if an entire posse is violating the law.

1. Shrink Katherine Bergeron’s “bedazzle my cape” fund.

2. Downgrade the CIT’s furnished atrium from MTC Cribs-worthy to semi-luxyry.

3. Hey, let’s give List to RISD.

4. Stop funding the Indy. Lord knows they need the controversy.

5. Ruth Simmons could share some of her monies.

6. Bake(d!!) sale.

7. Fire three deans. give Alice a raise.

8. Replace omelet line with umlaut line. Bëëf Tips: It’s what’s for dinner.

9. Cut Safewalk; walk dangerously.

10. Get rid of DPS Segways, replace them with pogo sticks.

For even more snark, check out today’s Post-!

Has the Wriston peeping Tom been found?

The Providence Journal reports today that a Woonsocket man has been detained after allegedly impersonating a public utilities worker to gain access to Goddard House:

The police say Justin A. Álvarez, 20, of Loring Street, Woonsocket, is connected to four similar incidents in which a man gained entry into women’s bathroom and shower areas and tried to photograph female students in the shower.

The Herald first broke the peeping Tom story in March, when a female student told police that “a college-age guy” entered Diman House and photographed her while in the shower. About a month later, The Herald reported a similar incident in Sears House, this time by someone described as “a male with a light complexion; possibly white or Hispanic approximately five feet six inches tall, lean build, dark hair, cut short, with a week’s worth of facial hair growth” by the Department of Public Safety.

DPS Chief Mark Porter later said the second incident was “not related” to the first, though this latest development seems to call that into question.

Look for Herald coverage of the incident later this week.