Drunk/Drunk/Sober/High/Crossfaded: Frosh Ball


The BlogBabies were itching to get in on the Drunk/Sober/High action, and what’s more freshman than a Frosh Ball? Given that freshmen only roam in packs, we found it appropriate to expand the usual three person group by adding two new members, Crossfaded and another Drunk! We present the first ever Drunk/Drunk/Sober/High/Crossfaded.

Since no one ever shows up on time, we all agreed to meet at 10:00 p.m. to do our respective imbibing and/or smoking (or neither, poor Sober). 

10:03 p.m. Cross has already taken 3 shots by the time the rest of the BlogBabies arrive. She has been feeling nauseous and hungover all day, so she did not eat dinner. Not her best decision.

10:05 p.m. High shows up already pretty high because he “comes prepared.” For additional preparation, as he tells us later, he watched “a shit load of Ru Paul’s Drag Race before [he] came.”

In a rare turn of events for D/S/H, Sober is the last to arrive… prepared with her journalistic integrity and iPhone for notes.

Very quickly, Cross and High decide they need to be high/higher, respectively, and so commences the search for an appropriate place to smoke. In response to the suggestion of the trash room, High notes that “It is where I belong.”

10:14 p.m. We’ve found a room willing to host us.

10:16 p.m. Cross is fairly drunk now that she’s about 6 shots in. She’s pleased with herself for being functional enough to prep her bong.

C: Aren’t you always amazed when you see drunk people roll just the nicest jays ever? Muscle memory, man!

H: It looks like an Erlenmeyer flask. Would you like to meet my bowl, Venus? Looks like the atmosphere of Venus.

Drunk 1: Wait, how do you know that?

H:  I don’t know, I haven’t been there.


Apparently this is Venus’    atmosphere. High’s bowl looked nothing like this.

10:32 p.m. Sober realizes that everyone is saying “Bojangles” for some unbeknownst reason and is once again realizing she is way too sober to deal with everyone.

Cross is staring at them while they go over the pronunciation of this weird word. She says nothing because she has NO idea what bojangles is. Is it the name of a famous clown like Bozo? A chain food place? A TV character? Continue Reading

Drunk/Sober/High: Watching Star Wars for the first time

Drunk/Sober/High is a series started at New York University’s blog NYULocal. It sends a drunk person, a sober person, and a high person to all go enjoy (and endure) the same experience together. We love it, so we thought we’d give it a try. 

One staff member (High) had the brilliant idea to organize a Star Wars viewing party (not specific, we know) with other staff members who, like her, had never seen any of the Star Wars movies. High was inspired to organize this event due to the impending release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Drunk didn’t realize this key detail until the middle of the evening — more on this later). Here’s what went down:

Pre-Gaming the event

Drunk: After six episodes of Master of None and a 30-minute shower featuring exclusively Missy Elliot, I was ready to go. Nowhere. My friends were coming to my house. Sober rolled up first. In honor of a networking function we both attended last Friday (read: not a networking function) where we had way too much white wine, I brought out a bottle of Pinot Gris and prepared to get wine-drunk SWUG style. High showed up shortly after and we migrated outdoors to accompany her while she smoked. After chilling outside for 30ish minutes sans shoes, I learned that 1) my feet get cold very easily and 2) WE WERE WATCHING STAR WARS BECAUSE A NEW MOVIE WAS COMING OUT.

Sober: I was the first to arrive at Drunk’s house, so I ended up pre-gaming the movie by trying to figure out technology a.k.a. doing the most hyper-sobering thing I could possibly do. Drunk and I spent about 15 minutes trying to turn on the TV and set up Chromecast, both to varying degrees of success, while leaving somewhat unacknowledged the more serious issue of where to find a copy of Star Wars. Luckily, High showed up just in time to [smoke and] somehow get us set up. While this was all happening, a fan came by for a photo-op because apparently we’re famous? (Of course we’re famous. Bow down.) It was a lot to take in. Also notable: I brought myself some Pringles and a pack of Double-Stuf Oreos (shoutout to the Jo’s mini-mart in all of its grossly-overpriced beauty), so my movie munchie game was strong AF.

High: I reprised my role as High during a movie by smoking on Drunk’s porch. Shout out to Sober and Drunk for hanging out in the cold with me like true homies. At some point while contemplating how odd it is to smoke without partaking in the proverbial passing of the bowl, my BOLT leader appeared. We talked to her for too long before explaining our varying degrees of sobriety. When she found out we what we were doing, she was so excited to see D/S/H in action that she took our picture. I remember posing for that photo… I don’t remember what my pose was. I should really ask for that photo. After smoking and hacking into the mainframe to find the movie, we were off to the star-races.

Continue Reading

Drunk/Sober/High: Ladd Observatory

drunksoberhigh ladd observatory

Drunk/Sober/High is a series started at New York University’s blog NYULocal. It sends a drunk person, a sober person, and a high person to all go enjoy (and endure) the same experience together. We love it, so we thought we’d give it a try. 

For this edition of the post, three of our writers visited Brown’s Ladd Observatory in various states of mind. The Observatory houses a refracting telescope used for research and stargazing, and it is open to the public on Tuesday nights from 7-9 p.m. We recommend checking it out at any level of sobriety. Here are our thoughts from our trip:

Getting to the Observatory

Drunk: It’s a Tuesday night and I’m drunk. I make my friends bring their Blue Room sandwiches to my room so that they can watch me get drunk alone on a Tuesday night. I’ve either made it big or hit rock bottom. I meet High at a location that is conveniently located near both of our dorms and we walk to find Sober. High tells me that his friends asked him, “who the fuck would get drunk on a Tuesday night.” Oops. The walk to the car is cold, but I have a nice alcohol blanket keeping me nice and snuggly. I’m giggling a lot and feeling excited to see some planets and stuff.

Sober: On the walk to the car, Drunk and High start calling me mama. I didn’t realize how big a responsibility I was taking on here. As we are waiting to cross the street, Drunk yells (about High), “He’s a shapeshifter! He was here and now he’s there!” High never moved. We make it across the street and High sees a lit-up building and philosophizes, “That looks like a dystopian version of heaven. You’re like, this is how I imagine heaven, except then you go in and it fucks you over.” It’s going to be a long night.

High: The car is freezing and Sober barely knows how to use the A/C. It’s cold. At least I called shotgun (Drunk is a sucker), so I’m that much closer to all the hot air that isn’t coming out. I’m not really sure where we’re going. To see stars, maybe?

Continue Reading

Drunk/Sober/High: Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular

Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular Drunk

In this edition of Drunk/Sober/High, three of our writers traveled to the far-away land of the Roger Williams Park Zoo to visit the one and only Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular 2013: Pumpkinville USA. Here are our thoughts:


Drunk: I am pregaming alone in my room while my roommate does work. I take a shot and chase it with hard cider, and try to figure out what one wears to a Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular. Is it kosher to dress up as a Jack-O-Lantern? I fill a water bottle with alcohol (so badass), but as I’m leaving I decide I don’t have enough, so I add two more shots and then go find Sober and High.

Sober: The last time I participated in a drunk/sober/high, I was the drunkest kitty on a Providence Ghost Tour. That being said, I’m a little nervous to chaperone my drunk and high friends to the zoo.

High: My roommates are engaged in social conversation and I am in the corner smoking alone. Auspicious beginning. Continue Reading

Drunk/Sober/High: Freshman Laundry Night

Last Sunday, three brave freshman souls ventured into a deep, dark place: the laundry room of a Pembroke dormitory. One faced the challenge of drunken stupor, another was cast under the spell of an herbal tendency, and the third, and perhaps bravest soul of all, stood bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, intoxicated only by his anticipation for the night that lay ahead. Here is their story (unfortunately, it’s 100% true… literally, 100%).

**The peaks and nadirs of this blurry night were chronicled by a Spotify playlist crafted with love and affection. Click on the hyperlinks throughout the post to truly vibe with Drunk, Sober and High’s experience. Yes, we listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell.**

9:35 p.m.: Drunk, after taking two shots of unidentified water bottle alcohol alone, heads over to Sober’s room.

9:42 p.m.: Drunk sends High aggressive text messages…

 First aggressive text messages of the night9:48 p.m.: Sober pressures Drunk into a third shot. He reminds Drunk that by the end of the night, she is also expected to finish the five Blue Moons awaiting her in his fridge.

9:54 p.m.: Sober is overheard saying to Drunk, “On a scale from one to yakking, I want you to be at an eight.” Fourth shot is imbibed.

10:15 p.m.: High arrives unannounced, interrupting Sober and Drunk’s intense discussion of vintage sweatshirts.

10:18 p.m.: “I’m definitely vibing right now.” –High

10:22 p.m.: “I am a shameless encourager of their intoxication.” –Sober

10:26 p.m.: “We need to do laundry.” –Drunk

10:30 p.m.: Hi-Chew is currently a point of contention. High and Drunk will do whatever they can to get their hands on that mango-flavored goodness. Sober proclaims, “You must unlock the Hi-Chew via higher levels of intoxication.”

10:34 p.m.: Drunk mistakes Japanese eraser for Hi-Chew and begins to consume.

10:37 p.m.: Conversation ensues.

Drunk: “I’m nervous I’m going to make all of my whites pink.”

High: “I did that to other people’s laundry while sober the other day.” Continue Reading

And when we say sober, we mean soberer

Drunk/Sober/High: Twilight

And when we say sober, we mean soberer

One cold November day, three bloggers decided to go watch this movie’s seminal groundbreaking Christmas movie, Breaking Dawn II. For our general entertainment, one of them went drunk, one of them went high, and the other sober. General hilarity ensued. Here are their stories:


The night started with four-and-a-half-shots of tequila; High was MIA (noob, walking when you’re high is like teleporting); and some guy on the street yelled out that I was “pretty attractive.” I told him I really appreciated it because I have low self-esteem. He gave me a weird look.

Continue Reading