A definitive ranking of the best Wi-Fi networks on College Hill

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“Show me someone who claims to not want the Wi-Fi password and I’ll show you a liar”

— me five minutes ago

As a senior living off campus and being thrust out of the comfort of the Brown Wi-Fi network, I’ve become increasingly aware of connecting to different networks around College Hill. This perpetual quest for Wi-Fi has illuminated the extent to which people in Providence take their Wi-Fi network naming seriously. In classic Brown fashion, these names really speak for themselves.

Without further ado, I present to you a list of College Hill’s best Wi-Fi network names on College Hill ranked by category:

Most location specific:

348s

Winner: YANSCUISINE

This network name is genius because of its proximity to Yan’s Cuisine and the fact that it is owned by students who have nothing to do with Yan’s Cuisine. This is an April Fools dream all-year-round. Not so secretly wishing I had thought of something like this.

Honorable mentions: Cheers to the Governor, Papa John’s, G Spot (located above G Spot Salon)

 

Most likely to make you feel like you’re being watched:

Winner: FBISurveillanceVan

Definitely no Napster, LimeWire, or MegaVideo here (#tbt).

 

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Best use of popular culture:

Winner: [Borat Voice] my wifi

Looks like we’ve all upgraded from the iPod Mini. Very nice!

Runners Up: BillNyeTheWifiGuy, Adventure timeeee, and Bruce Wayne

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(Campus)Lifehacker: Beat Brown-Secure

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For those of you who may not know this already (Class of 2017), Brown-Secure is the reason why you were given Ethernet cables when you got to Brown. That is, it’s bad. Seriously bad. Even Benjamin Franklin had something to say about it: “Those who would give up all Essential Internets to purchase a little Cryptographic Security, will be really happy with Brown-Secure.”

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Yeah… no.

Brown-Secure drops your slow connection every few minutes if you’re lucky, and you can forget about getting on Brown-Secure in a full lecture hall. Most experienced students opt for Brown-Guest or Brown-EZ for the optimal YouTube-viewing experience, but since those are unencrypted networks, that theoretically leaves your network traffic vulnerable to CS166 students who have just emerged from the CIT and are dying to test out their uber leet haxor skills. (Our network recommendation after the jump.) Continue Reading


Did you really read Morning Mail?: Eduroam

Were you planning on visiting a friend at another school during our irrationally fantastically long winter break?  If so, you may be able to bypass the mild inconvenience of accessing their school’s wireless network!

According to a submission in this morning’s depressingly sparse Morning Mail, Brown has joined a new service cleverly called eduroam (education roaming — ohhhhh), which allows students of participating universities to get internet access across a number of schools in the US and abroad.  For more information on the service, you can consult their website, which has a map of participating schools, or watch the terrible promotional cartoon above, which has a joke about the difficulty of nailing jelly to a tree (?) and is narrated by someone who appears to be (poorly) imitating Mark Blyth.

If RISD decides to opt in to this service, it would solve the only problem with studying at the RISD Library — the terrible service provided by the dreaded “RISD-Guest” network.