The second semester activities fair is tomorrow tonight, and if you went first semester (ehem, freshmen), you’ll know it’s a completely intimidating affair with hoards of people crowded into a narrow space and hundreds of upper classmen demanding your email if you so much as glance at their poster. So, if you choose to forgo second semester activities in the much more civilized Alumae Hall (or just forgot), never fear! Brown has a nifty interface called BearSync that lists all of the 400+ clubs in a Facebook style fashion with a profile and a newsfeed of current happenings. And if that’s still too much for you to handle, some Brown clubs have particularly creative names that you should join for the sole purpose of being able to tell someone with a straight face you are a part of the ARRR!!! Club (said with truth enthusiasm).
Proof of first semester madness
Beard Appreciation Society: I would imagine this club is a must for any semi-hipsters school. Their profile page claims to critique famous facial hair and discuss beards in the news and social media, and you don’t even need to have facial hair! While it’s unclear if any of that actually happens or not, the name will definitely make you chuckle.
So many styles to discuss! Continue Reading
Just because you can’t read it, doesn’t mean it won’t kill you.
This fall, I am doing something f***ing crazy. It’s on my senior bucket list, but it’s not the Naked Donut Run (been there, done that), and no, it’s not the SciLi challenge. What I am doing is way more hard-core than that.
I am enrolled in CSCI0150: Introduction to Object-Oriented Programming, otherwise known as CS15.
While not everyone will be doing coordinated stretch breaks with Andy van Dam this semester, a lot of you have probably toyed around with the idea of taking a computer science course before. Banner stats currently put the registration numbers for CS15 and CS17 (another introductory course) at 394 and 214, respectively.
That being said, a lot of you have also wimped out. No shame, we totally get it–computer science is scary! The cold, gripping fear of sitting down in the Sun Lab (or more recently, your own computer), and having no clue how to go about your assignment–it’s enough for anyone to drop.
All of the concentrators will tell you that’s silly talk. Sure, it will be a lot of work, but you’ll be capable of it! Essentially, the fear of CS is irrational. I am here to tell you about my own fear of computer science, which is irrational, but for very different reasons. These are all the things I’m afraid will happen if I take CS:
- I will undoubtedly awaken an internet demon that will manipulate me into freeing it from its digital prison, and wreak havoc on campus a la Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It will name me as its co-conspirator on Reddit, and everyone will hate me.
- The complete lack of sunlight will cause my appearance to shift into something like this:
Smile for your graduation picture!
- The tech bubble will burst upon my graduation, and I will still end up jobless and alone.
As Movember draws to a close, we have a unique opportunity to discuss and reflect on the role of mustaches in our society; the new wave of facial hair has thrust the topic into our daily conversation. Regardless of one’s personal opinion on what looks good or not, Movember has drawn national attention to many issues of men’s health, and has increased awareness about testicular and prostate cancer (among other things). Movember has also reawakened a spirit that many thought to be lost: nostalgia for the golden age of the ‘stache. That’s right, were talking about the 70’s, when bellbottoms and flowing hair reigned supreme, and the measure of manhood was not based on bench press numbers but on whisker prominence. In the words of Nick Offerman, “A mustache carries with it a little bit of derring-do. You’re the kind of guy who will come barreling up doing a power slide in your pickup truck and then give a girl a wink.”
Before I start waxing nostalgic about Burt Reynolds and Freddy Mercury, I have to confess that my own mustache-growing-ability is subpar, to say the least. I have remained committed to the cause throughout Movember, but I seem only to be able to grow a meager excuse for peach fuzz. No amount of “Just for Men” hair dye has been able to kick start my mustached campaign.
If the pitch black late afternoon and very Providence-y weather yesterday haven’t made it clear, it’s the second half of pumpkin spice season/the early stages of Christmas commercials season/November. That means we’ve come to the 30 days in which it is socially acceptable to not shave any of the hair on your face, regardless of how gross the end result might be–it’s Movember.
Thankfully, a foundation has managed to leverage this tradition into some real charitable good. The Movember Foundation has raised over $500 million to fight prostate cancer and testicular cancer in the United States and around the world.
In honor of Movember, we want to see the best facial hair Brunonia has to offer. Email your submissions to blog(at)browndailyherald.com anytime between now and December 1st (that way you have time to grow out a masterpiece like the one in the above picture). Before/after photos are highly encouraged. We will announce the winners—across many preposterous categories—during the first week of December. We’re looking forward to seeing your submissions!
Alas, November is creeping to an end, and many of Brown’s finest young men (and women) are about to have completed the ultimate challenge:
Brad Pitt is the epitome of No Sex November.
No Shave November. Many Brunonians have forsaken the razor in order to grow superior facial hair. It is a noble pursuit, but sometimes an ugly one. So when does No Shave November become… No Sex November?
When I say “No Sex” November, I refer to Facial Hair Degradation so severe that not only will I personally refuse to have sex with you, but the entire universe will also collectively refuse to copulate with you. But done right, No Shave November becomes… Naughty November. If you combine the right genes, facial hair coloring, and growth rate, you get a beard that makes us all say…
To all you WASPs out there: yes, I realize that the Jews and the Greeks have an advantage over you in the facial hair department. What can I say? It’s their birthright.
Here are some beards that can either go Sex… or No Sex: