Things I Wish I’d Said Earlier

tw, cw: mental illness, suicide, eating disorders, loss

Hey, you.

Yes, you.

You in the corner over there,

Hiding behind your long hair

So that no one can see the desperation in your eyes.

I just wanted to tell you:

It’s okay.

It’s okay that you have to hide. Continue Reading


Procrastination Nation: A Day In The Life

We’re students. Procrastinating is in our blood. People who can go and crank out all of their reading responses or problem sets or papers in one sitting both impress and, quite frankly, terrify me. But most of us don’t have the luxury of time management, so we’re left with growing piles of work we either choose to ignore, or parse out so slowly that it’s pretty much as effective as ignoring them. While no two procrastinators are alike, everyone tends to use similar tactics to avoid real life responsibilities: naps, Netflix, food and friends. In fact, here is a rough timeline of an average dawdler’s day:

 

1:00 pm – Meet up with friends after a long half-day of classes and pick up a little mid-afternoon second lunch.

1:40 pm – Saunter back to your dorm, stop for every single person you recognize, and every free food-stand on the Main Green.

1:50 pm – Power nap!

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What Brown Founder Are You?


Pros and Cons of “The Rodent”

Pros:

  •  The visceral reaction to “Rodent” is more analogous to the Sharpe Refectory experience than “Ratty.”
  • A “rodent” was found dead in the building, not a “ratty.”
  •  Anarchy for the sake of anarchy is, at its core, kind of fun.
  •   I don’t really remember why it’s called the Ratty, at least this way I’ll have an explanation for why we nicknamed a dining hall after the most recognizable symbol of disease.

Cons:

  • Rodent? Are you serious? Gross.
  •  Renaming a landmark structure alienates older students.
  • I don’t even get it.
  •  It’s been the “Ratty” for as long as the current generations can remember.
  • Does nobody care about common decency anymore?
  •  There are certain values which are integral to an institutions core, and it is the responsibility of the populace to uphold those traditions.
  • Am I really going to have to go talk to some lanyard wearing freshman to figure out why they decided the Rodent was an acceptable name for─
  • Why do I sound like a traditionalist conservative?
  •  Is all it takes to bring out the hardline conservative in me─ the Rodent vs. Ratty debate??
  • Maybe the Rodent is the change we need.

 


A Guide to First Year Housing

As Told by a First Year Who Probably Knows Way Less About This Than You Do

It’s almost three weeks into the school year, and if you’re a newbie like me, you’re probably still awkwardly introducing yourself to other first years in this specific order: name, hometown, dorm. In fact, you’re also probably awkwardly nodding when someone mentions a dorm on the other side of campus and saying, “Oh whoa, I’m in [specific dorm on the other side of campus from you], all the way over there!” And if you’re really like me, you haven’t fully grasped the differences between all the first-year dorms yet, but feel like it’s too late in the game to ask someone. That’s why I’ve created this helpful guide with literally everything you will ever need to know about Brown’s freshman dorms.*

ANDREWS

The proverbial hotel on campus, Andrews is high-class and the people who live there know it. Their dining hall is the Brown equivalent of  5-star gourmet food, with daily specialty meals and an hour long wait time to go with it. The Andrews one-percenters look down both figuratively and literally on the commoners from the other dorms, while they’re comfy and well-fed in their fire-pit-filled perch overlooking all of Pembroke.

EM-WOOL

That other dorm in Pembroke with a dining hall in the basement. I arrived at the V-Dub at 7:38 PM last week and the food had long been packed away, so I have yet to try their cuisine, but they get points for being punctual at closing time, I guess. EmWool may not have the nicest rooms, or the best food, or the closest proximity to campus, but they do have semi-private bathrooms, and that just about makes up for everything.

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To All the Classes I’ve Loved Before

You’ll never know how I thought of you, sitting in Physics, wishing I could be in you instead.

During those never-ending nights at the SciLi, when I dreamed of all the euphorically early nights you could give me. I could never get you off my mind, as hard as I might. I remember dreaming of Introduction to Sleep while dozing off in Thermodynamics. Wishing I could be in ENGN 90 while suffering through ENGN 1590. Who wouldn’t want to take Rocks with Jocks instead of Organic Chemistry with Pre-Meds?

Some semesters, it was my fault, some yours, and some semesters all that separated us was a poorly-placed section time. There’s no denying that our timing was always off. You were at nine a.m., I refused to give up my Sunday night ragers. You were MWF and I really wanted a four-day weekend. You were 12-1 and I really wanted lunch. You were in Bio-Med and I was living in Grad Center. No matter the Herculean effort I put forward, it just wouldn’t work.

I won’t pretend that I won’t think of you after graduation. Though our relationship was largely one-sided, and you never tried to meet me halfway, I can’t just forget you. Even when the days of drinking vodka cokes from red Solo cups are but a distant memory, I’m certain that I’ll remember you in fondness.

The class that could never be, the seminar that never was.