So you forgot Mother’s Day. What next?

Clara's Card

Mother’s Day is a time-honored tradition where we celebrate those who put up with our shit over the years and saw as at our highs and lows. It’s also a time where we shamelessly get to post countless numbers of pictures on social media with the hopes of maybe breaking 100 likes. Though Mother’s Day in the US was created on an arbitrary day, it still holds a lot of significance. Typically, celebrations include cards, flowers, and whatever other crap Hallmark has associated with the holiday. Despite it’s somewhat manufactured feel, it is a great opportunity to tell your mom just how much she means to you, which isn’t something we get to do every day. In short, you don’t want to forget it.

So what happens if you somehow didn’t see the thousands of Facebook posts, or see kids walking around outside the Rock on the phone, and forgot Mother’s Day? Well for one, you’re a jerk and you should feel bad. Just kidding. One writer at the blog (not myself) may be writing from experience in this matter because he or she may have forgotten to call last year. But do not give up hope! There are a few things you can do to try and save yourself.

1. Flowers are key. Spending a couple bucks now will save you lots of passive aggressiveness later.

2. Blame finals. This is a bold strategy, but your mom will appreciate that you’re working hard. The only problem is if you bomb your tests, then you’re really

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PollerBears: It’s finals week…


Everyone knows it takes about four unproductive hours for every productive hour of work. It’s all part of the ~process~. Are you being productive right now or do you just look like you’re being productive right now? We need to know.

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Final Papers and You: A question of tone

Ben Hur Rowing

Pictured: An Adjunct


Academic writing is notorious for being dry as a desert. We’ve all felt our eyes glaze over during a particular sentence in an assigned reading. Our pen hangs in the air, paralyzed by indecision. What do we underline? Everything? Nothing? What’s the important information here? Resigned to our defeat, we move on to the next sentence, hoping we haven’t strolled right past something significant.

This is the path that will lead to rereading until you realize that you don’t know dick about what the paper was trying to communicate. Now, imagine for a moment that you are a professor (or, to be truthful, a professor’s lowly squire). You’ve been assigned a whole stack of student papers to grade. In a fate crueler than any Lucifer could design, you must sift through a mound of stilted undergrad academic prose. Visions of banned stimulants dance in your head, then vanish. You begin to think fondly of the good old prehistoric days, when language consisted mostly of pointing, grunting, and screeching. What a world it was, untarnished by the verb “facilitate.”

It doesn’t have to be this way. Academic writing doesn’t need to have its mailing address in its own rectum to communicate its points in a clear and articulate fashion. If you’re arguing a point, it can be made in lively and interesting splendor. If you’re analyzing a text, you don’t have to drain the blood from the entire work. There’s room for levity and entertainment.

We must acknowledge, though, that not every paper will be a barrel of laughs. Perhaps your subject matter is very grim, and you don’t trust yourself with dark humor. Perhaps you’re writing a research paper, and there’s not much breathing room for creativity. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Still, depending on what it is you’re trying to accomplish with your writing, you just might be able to brighten someone’s day. That said, there are different standards for different assignments.

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Blogify: Finals

Last year we made a playlist of 140 songs to help us through finals period. If you, like us, have exhausted that playlist and are in need of some new musical inspiration, you’re in luck. Here are 51 new songs to get you through the final push.

Pizza Nite is here!!!

That’s right, folks! The bi-annual Pizza Nite is here!

04-rihanna-pizza.w529.h352.2x*Rihanna not included*

For those of you who don’t know, Pizza Nite is a magical experience where the Rock and the Sci Li dole out *FREE* pizza for students stressing over finals. The event is sponsored by Campus Life and the University Library. If you’re running low on points, meal credits, and your monthly allowance, then this is the night for you. The crowds can pretty intense so make sure you get there on time. The pizza nights are staggered, meaning you can get DOUBLE free pizza if you’re feeling really ambitious. If pizza isn’t your thing, then don’t fret: there will also be apples, cookies, and other snacks.

Pizza Nite is happening tonight at 9:00pm in the Sci Li and tomorrow night at 9:00pm in the Rock. Come one, come all!

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Preventing a MacBook crash

In September 2013, a beautiful, 13 inch, 2.96 lb. MacBook Pro was bought into existence. I took care of it in its infancy as a proud Apple owner should — I shut off apps that weren’t in use, I used the power button to put it to sleep instead of simply closing it, I even traveled with it in a padded case.  All efforts were proven to be for naught, however, when my 7 month old hard-drive crashed a week before finals.

It wasn’t until the crash that I realized how immensely dependent I am on my computer. When you lose all your documents, photos, and music, it feels like you’ve lost a lot more than files. Here’s how you can prevent losing everything, including your sanity, when you see this screen.


never good news


Cautionary tips: Some things to consider prior to the crash.

1. Back up everything, twice. If you’re like me and have an external hard-drive that you’re semi-faithful about backing up to, consider that external hard-drives can be more fragile than the drives in your computer. They’re a great thing to have, but ultimate safety is in the cloud. Get to know Dropbox and GoogleDrive really well.

2. Get Apple Care. The ability to call an Apple representative without additional costs should be incentive enough, but if it isn’t, consider how much money you will save on inevitable repairs. Apple Care costs between $79 and $99, whereas the cost of labor on a one-time repair is typically $95 at a minimum. That doesn’t include the cost of new hardware, which is also covered by Apple Care.

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