procrastination finals season. With all of the work we have to do, we welcome and embrace any possible distraction. An article about the Champions League (lol sports) or one about the importance of stretching is suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world when you don’t want to do your work.Right freaking now seems like the optimal moment to reorganize your Spotify playlists, doesn’t it? Or in my case, now is the time to write this post and ignore my 10-page paper due on Friday.
But, if you’re like me and you like to pretend everything is secretly about sex, perhaps you’re wondering what your procrastination technique reveals about your sexuality. Allow me to interpret:
You did it! You’ve managed to summon enough will power to return to Brown after Thanksgiving! But, then you immediately got hit by a truck, but not just any truck, the “Finals are next week, even though I just took a ‘midterm’ yesterday, and I have no idea what ‘hegemony’ or the ten(?) principles of economics really are” truck. Fear not, though, because Blog has your freshmen backs with several necessities to help you survive your reading period.
Remember when you participated in the pack and go program at Bed, Bath & Beyond and realized that towels don’t just materialize in bathrooms (thanks parents for hiding this harsh truth from me for so long) and you had to actually buy some? Those towels come super handy during reading period for soaking up huge amounts of tears, especially ones that are caused by chemistry, neuroscience, or math. More importantly, however, is the fact that they are dual purpose. Roll one up under your door to prevent bothering people with your screaming or to deaden the noise of your soul shattering.
2. Chocolate or flowers
Keep these treats around to win back your friends, roommates, and significant others at the end of reading period. Use them to apologize for your terrible behavior while studying, including but not limited to yelling at them out of stress, anger, hunger, or even hanger, throwing textbooks at them out of frustration, re-reading your essay out loud over and over until the wee hours of the morning, and papering every surface of your room with notes.
There is something about the last two weeks of school that makes you want to curl up in bed and sleep. Or pull out your phone and scroll endlessly through the deep recesses of social media. Chalk it up to a combination of looming finals, the 4:30 p.m. darkness (wtf), or the mysteriously gross plague hitting everyone, but overall, it’s clear that motivation is at an all-time low.
So on a nicer note, are you the kind of person who enjoys small tasks that lead to mega rewards? Interested in the idea of making someone’s day without getting off the couch? There’s an app for that.
Brighten just hit the app store and is already sweeping across college campuses. Its goal is simple: to provide an outlet for friends to say nice things to each other. On this app, you can follow your friends, like and comment on their posts, and send your own messages (called “brightens”) to those you care about. Adorable, right? Austin Kevitch, the app’s founder and CEO, explained that Brighten is “the first social app based on positivity and the easiest way to make your friends smile.”
According to the Brighten page, “anonymity can be used for good.” Each commenter has a color, but that’s it. Although “brightens” can be sent to anyone in your contact list, your name will never be shared. Instead of reading nasty Yaks or those (occasionally) freaky Brown Bear Admirers Posts, Brighten exists for friendship vibes only. Hate speech is not tolerated and romantic posts are definitely the exception, not the rule.
During this final stretch, small acts of kindness can go a crazy long way. What’s more, there is scientific evidence that making your friends happy actually boosts your mood. Amazing.
Good luck on finals, everyone! Remember you are so, so loved.
I don’t have much time. We don’t have much time. We sophomores have been working hard this semester to keep the Slump at bay. At times it seemed like we had even gained the upper hand. But alas, all of our progress might be for naught. The storm is coming. In fact, I fear it is already upon us.
There is still time to escape, to save yourself before the tempest strikes. You can drop a class anytime before finals. I strongly urge anyone reading this to drop all of their classes IMMEDIATELY, and then walk in a quiet and orderly fashion to the nearest fallout shelter. There should be enough Spam in there to last you until junior year, when it will be safe to come out again.