FlogDailyHerald: Packing up early

packingstudents

I do not consider myself a particularly aggressive person. I mean, I’m able to peacefully accept that there aren’t any more ciabatta rolls left at the Blue Room without squirting Sriracha in someone’s eye, most of the time. I’m also fairly good at not tackling anyone as I make my way out of those pesky Wilson doors and go sprint to my next class. If there is one thing that royally pisses me off, though, it’s the lot of cheeky students who pack up 5-10 minutes before class ends, just to make sure everyone hears and sees them. Here’s the deal:

A) the professor is still talking,

B) you are distracting me, and many other students who are trying to understand the material and,

C) your actions will now trigger a domino effect of rustling papers, scooting chairs, and zipping backpacks, a.k.a. the most scathing sounds in human history.

In short, you are telling the professor, and everyone else in class, that they are operating on your schedule. In short short, you are making me have a nervous breakdown, and I’d love to keep my sanity for at least two more months, thank you very much.

Continue Reading


FlogDailyHerald: Umbrellas

Not even you, Rihanna, can redeem the umbrella.

Not even you, Rihanna, can redeem the umbrella.

As everyone knows and has complained about incessantly throughout the day (myself included), it is really rainy outside. With rain comes the usual rain gear – raincoats, boots, sadness and umbrellas.

All umbrellas are useless. That this has not yet been discussed on a national – dare I say international – level is shocking to me. So, let me begin the dialogue.

Some people have those tiny, flimsy umbrellas, which are annoying just because they don’t do anything so why did that person bother? In fact, all umbrellas don’t really do anything. They operate under the assumption that your rainy day has zero wind (which is stupid). All they really do is cover your head, which can easily be accomplished by wearing a hood.

All umbrellas break within a year of purchase. Have you ever had an umbrella last you more than a year? If the answer is yes, it’s only because you never used it, because it’s pointless.

Despite what some may tell you, there is no added bonus of an umbrella protecting multiple people from the rain. Have you ever had a pleasant experience walking under an umbrella with someone? No. Every time, you have to time your step according to your umbrella partner, resulting in an awkward, jerky and slow gait. If you were to forego the umbrella and walk at a normal pace with a raincoat on, you would get far less wet because umbrellas do nothing. Even if Rihanna offered me a place under her umbrella (ella…ella…ay…ay…ay), I would regretfully decline, out of principle.

And then there’s the worst kind of all: those massive umbrellas everyone who works on Wall Street uses. They are so damn big that on most sidewalks you actually cannot pass the person walking in front of you with that massive umbrella without walking under their umbrella for a brief, but painfully awkward, moment. So now I have to walk slower and get soaked because you are using an ineffectual piece of rain gear to keep your head dry, despite the invention of hoods way back when the first monk donned a habit.

Don’t get me started on people who use umbrellas to block the sun.

So, please. Invest in a raincoat or just get wet. You’re not the Wicked Witch of the West. Unless you use an umbrella.

[Ed’s note: This is one blogger’s opinion and does not represent the views of BlogDH’s edit board or staff. I like umbrellas and know I get significantly less wet carrying one. Also, whoever stole my umbrella outside Wilson 101 today, sending bad karma your way].

Image via


FlogDailyHerald: Wearing jeans in the rain

My mother always told me if you’re going to insult someone, you have to begin and finish with a compliment. With that in mind: Jeans, thank you for being one of the most dependable articles of clothing in my closet and in my heart.  Except for that one time you were bedazzled and that extended period of time you were “flared cut,” you’ve always had my best interest in mind… But it’s time we talked about the soggy elephant in the room. It’s no secret that sandals in the snow earns #1 worst clothing/weather combo, but when it comes to rain, Jeans, it’s time for you to get it together.

denim

holy wet denim

I’m from New England; we’ve been through this before, but it’s different now that I have to walk across campus. Don’t tell me it’s my fault for not wearing rain pants, this isn’t BOLT and you know that. If you’re going to be the least water-resistant fabric known to mankind, at least learn to expedite the drying process. Sitting through a two and a half hour seminar is trying enough, but compounded with wet denim? Cruel. And while we’re talking about drying, maybe you could refrain from feeling the need to shrink yourself two sizes while I’m wearing you. I can’t keep squirming around in class as you form the world’s most uncomfortable second skin.

Continue Reading


FlogDailyHerald: Throw away your trash, you inconsiderate walnut

Offensive.

Offensive.

Things you may find at Commons [Ed. Wait, is Commons a thing?!], Jo’s, or a similar late-night eating establishment at 1 a.m.: drunk people, lost umbrellas and water bottles, late-night studiers or socializers, and trash — an endless sea of garbage. Trash is oozing out of the garbage cans, accumulating on the tables, staining the carpet, the chairs, and our consciousness. There is nowhere to hide! Grab your hazmat suit and galoshes! AHH!

Okay, perhaps that is an exaggeration, but trash does seem to be a major problem here on campus. Haphazard piles of trash lay abandoned on tables along with half-finished drinks, wrappers, and used napkins. This doesn’t just happen at Commons or Jo’s late at night, trash seems to be left everywhere — cups in the hallways, chip bags in the bushes, and even an aggressively yellow condom in a dorm stairwell. (What a hiLARious prank!)

6428335

Do I have to explain to you why you should pick up after yourself? I probably shouldn’t have to, but here it goes. Let’s break this down.  As you walked away from the table, you looked back at your piles of trash and thought, “That’s not my problem.” And that’s not okay.

tumblr_inline_natx5xDf2r1sno25n

You left an abstract masterpiece painted out of ketchup and mustard on the table and thought, “I should leave this for the world to see.” You spilled half a pizza on the floor, looked down, and thought, “Someone else will deal with it.” You suck.

“But…but,” you may be thinking, “I have an excuse!” Do tell. “The trash can was too far away, and it was already full.” Walk to another one, you rank lima bean. “But… but… it’s not my problem. We pay people to do that for me.” Well yes, lovely people from BUDS and facilities do work to keep Brown eateries hygienic and neat, but it should not have to be their job to wipe up the excess debris from your drunken or just inconsiderate escapades. “But… but… trash is gross.” So are you, you worthless grapefruit. Gross.

This file was appropriately titled "ugly-grapefruit."

You, a worthless grapefruit.

Continue Reading


Flog Daily Herald: Rain

To state the glaringly obvious: it is raining (or was raining, depending on when this is published). And while I like thunderstorms on Facebook as much as the next girl, this weather is putting a serious damper (pun intended) on my day. There are infinite reasons why rain is at best inconvenient, and at worst a total, utter life-ruining disaster, but here are just a few:

1. Laundry

It has now rained two days in a row, which means I have now wasted two perfectly good pairs of leggings. They are both too wet to wear again for the next few days, and too dirty with rain chemicals (idk, I’m not a scientist) to be worn again ever until they are washed. Should this weather continue, or should I decide to go to the gym (but why would I), I will be forced to sacrifice even more articles of clothing to an untimely death by rain. Lucky for me, I have a virtually unending supply of black leggings, but even this stock will eventually run dry (another pun), and I will be forced to do laundry. This will cost me not only at least $3, but, even more valuable, at least an hour and a half of my time. If it weren’t for rain, I could surely make it at least 8 weeks without ever washing my clothes. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.

2. Umbrellas

It will forever elude me why people continue to uphold the societally-shared illusion that umbrellas do anything. Umbrellas cover, maximum, 3 inches of your head. The rest of your body is still exactly as open to the elements as it would be if you just wore a hat. If anything, I think my legs get wetter when I use an umbrella due to water runoff. Moreover, umbrellas somehow have the unique ability to turn the most intelligent and able-bodied people into the walking blind. You know how large your umbrella is, so please account for that when you walk by someone. Yes, hitting someone in the face with your umbrella is kind of funny, but also kind of makes you an asshole.

3. When cars drive through puddles and you get splashed.

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but truly nothing is worse. Granted, this happens to me far less in Providence than back in Chicago, but sheer PTSD from past, drenching experiences forces me to walk at least two feet from any curb at all times when it’s raining. Each time I am forced to cross the street and a car drives by, I brace my entire body for the inevitable tidal wave of water. That is no way to live!

Continue Reading


FlogDailyHerald: Instagram Holidays

#selfie

Who doesn’t love Instagram? With filters that turn any selfie into a filtered selfie, it’s the bona fide hipster app of the decade, which means Brown students must love it. And I do love Instagram as much as anyone. Trust me, I do. But much like the way one avoids Facebook during the Super Bowl (who wants to read 100 statuses in a row all recounting information about an event literally the entire world is watching?), there are times when every photo on your Instagram feed looks eerily similar.

What exactly is an Instagram holiday, you ask?

Instagram Holiday (n): An occasion that incites a multitude of Instagrams with similar (or the same) content. Includes real holidays as well as social events, popular sports games and natural and frequent weather patterns. 

Used in a sentence: “I think snowfall is my favorite Instagram Holiday.” 

Used in another sentence: “Excuse me professor, but tomorrow is #throwbackthursday, a very religious Instagram Holiday, so I actually will not be attending class.”

Continue Reading