You may or may not have caught a glimpse of Brown’s 250th anniversary cake/monstrosity last week. Without my glasses, I could behold only a blurry, brown structure before the equally-out-of-focus podiums and rainbow flags flying high on the 3rd floor of Faunce (bravo, kids). Amidst hangry students struggling to appreciate synchronized slam poetry, I could take the time to imagine what our culinary masterpiece looked like. It wasn’t just a replica of University Hall. It was a Cake Boss rival. It was the real Ace of Cakes. It was our very own sculpted dessert straight from a bona fide bakery, Oakleaf Cakes.
My imagination didn’t have to run too far, for Brown really did take the cake. After I
made it tore my way through the crowd and tried the not-so-delectable treat, I researched its competition. Here are the cakes Brown surpasses (and a few we didn’t quite beat). Sorry I couldn’t sugarcoat it for you.
Unseating the Incumbent
The 500-pound inaugural cheesecake
At 650 pounds, Brown’s University Hall outweighed Obama’s inaugural 500-pound cheesecake created by Chicago-based Eli’s Cheesecake Company. The three-tiered Democratic dessert featured a replica of the Capitol Dome topped with a gold Statue of Freedom. But the part-chocolate chip, part-original plain cheesecake, crafted from 155 pounds of cream cheese, 50 pounds of butter, and 20 dozen eggs, among other gargantuan amounts of ingredients couldn’t hold a smoking candle to Oakleaf’s masterwork.
Commander-in-Chief cake weighed only 50 lbs
The second inaugural cake made by Charm City Cakes (of Ace of Cakes fame) for the Commander-in-Chief Ball doesn’t even come close to Brown’s cake prowess. At a measly 3-4 feet to our 5 feet, the six-tiered (that’s right, six tiers couldn’t top us) red velvet, lemon poppy seed, pineapple coconut, and pumpkin chocolate chip confection weighed in at a surprising 50 pounds.
Another year brings the return of Soul Food night to the Ratty. Organized by the Black Heritage Series and Third World Center, its goal is to”celebrate African-American culture through food.” Essentially, it is an edible version of Soul Train, and it’s available to you for one meal credit.
For those of you who were with us on meal plan last year, you may recall a night in spring semester when the Ratty was filled with fantastic fried chicken and mashed potatoes galore. To everybody else, we think that the promise of fried chicken speaks for itself. Rest assured that the Ratty is going to be packed tonight. The food is served from 4:30 – 7:30, but we suggest getting there early to avoid the 6:30 rush. The decision to go is a simple one: Do you like soul? Do you like food? Of course you do.
Did we mention that the food is really, really good? See you tonight for the first special Ratty dinner of the year!
Yes. We caved. Blog made a quiz, exactly like those that have become ubiquitous on your newsfeed. But, it’s pretty fitting, considering Blog is just a niche version of Buzzfeed. Without further adieu, we present…
The chef has spoken! Winter Storm Quintus is expected to hit Browntown in the afternoon today and stay through Sunday morning. As a result, both Jo’s and
Andrews Dining New Gate will be closing at 11:00 p.m. To avoid being left with the late night munchies, I highly recommend utilizing Foodler, a website that allows you to have your knock-off spicy withs (weeth?) (and other foods too!) all in the comfort of your dorm. Stay warm, and avoid making fruitless treks tonight!
Being on meal plan getting you down? Hungry for some fresh produce? Don’t worry, there’s STILL time to sign up for a Brown Market Share!
The Spring 2014 Market Share will run for 11 weeks, from February 6 to April 24. Distribution conveniently takes place every Thursday from 12 p.m. to 6 p.m. at Brown/RISD Hillel (the corner of Brown and Angell). Expect a variety of locally-sourced, farm-fresh produce every week. This includes root vegetables and wintergreens, as well as fresh bread, dairy products, and meat!
The deadline for sign-ups is this (UPDATE) Thursday, January 30 at 11:59 p.m . For more information, check out their website or Facebook page, and if you’re ready for a nourishing semester, click here to sign up.
Tucked behind a parking lot at 161 Cushing Street hides Flatbread Company, the Providence iteration of a small chain that has franchises throughout New England in places like Martha’s Vineyard, Portland (not that one), and Somerville (and also randomly Hawaii and Whistler). Flatbread Company “has been introducing people to the magic of earth and fire” since 1998. Their clay, sand, hay, and ash ovens attempt to imitate a form of cooking that has been around for millennia. They’ve also committed themselves to serving as much organic and locally-sourced food as possible. The Cushing location opened on December 26, 2013.
For a building hidden from the rush of Thayer by CVS, Flatbread Company has a very open, welcoming feel to it. The two ovens, which workers are constantly feeding flatbreads on giant wooden boards, occupy one side of the restaurant, exposed to customers. At the other end, past an extremely long bar serving various local beers, there’s a library, because Flatbread Company is also trying to become your new secret study space. A friendly, attentive staff only add to the vibe. We got both of our pizzas in under 10 minutes. Your move, Nice Slice.