The Full Lo(ko)down

The founders of Four Loko (left to right): Jeff Wright, Jaisen Freeman and Chris Hunter // The Fix

Just when you thought BlogDailyHerald was finally done providing royal wedding-status coverage of the most infamous drink of our generation, we dig up what may be the most comprehensive look at Four Loko ever published. Spanning four not-so-loko but thoroughly informative pages, Jay Cheshes’s article–relying heavily on interviews with the drink’s creators–follows the alcopop from its humble days as a fratboy fantasy in the early 2000s to a heavily-debated national spectacle by late 2010. We’ll leave it to you to read the whole article for the details, yet we did have a few stray observations:

  • Played college football? Didn’t make it to the NFL? Turn to your second passion: high-gravity, yet somewhat drinkable, alcoholic beverages. Seriously, try convincing yourself that the guy on the right doesn’t look like an ex-linebacker (Freeman, pictured middle, was actually a “hockey star” at Ohio State).
  • The product always reminded us a little bit of Sparks and, as the article reveals, the creators began by initially selling a 16-oz, 6% ABV ripoff of the original alcopop.
  • In a profound observation, reporter Jay Cheshes concludes his article by stating that the caffeine-free Four Loko “will still lay you out” and predicting future government intervention since the fundamental problem still exists. If only all media writers were as astute and insightful as Cheshes, then maybe one of them could reveal that even without Rob Schneider, new Adam Sandler movies will still get panned by the critics because they actually aren’t funny.

Loko 4 Ethanol

From Fueling Blackouts to Fueling Cars //

It’s a new year and the most notorious beverage of 2010 has refused to join its peers in beverage heaven. While reformulated Four Loko shipments, sans caffeine, are in the process of returning to stores, cases of the now-outlawed caffeinated version are being recycled. According to Time, wholesalers have decided to send their excess stock to Virginia-based MXI Environmental Services, a facility which is capable of distilling Four Loko (and similar alcoholic energy drinks) in order to extract ethanol. The plant then sells the ethanol for use in gasoline and recycles the aluminum cans, shipping containers and even Loko’s water content for use elsewhere. So, in the conclusion of the Four Loko story, we see how individuals can find a way to make good of an atrocity–like when SNL parodied Sarah Palin and actually got some laughs. Luckily for those looking to get loco, several stores have opted to keep selling original Four Loko under the FDA’s nose for prices as high as $10 per can. With so many other methods of irresponsible consumption available to the college student, how long will Four stay afloat?

Our last Four Loko post for a while….we promise

Is there nothing sacred left in life?  Phusion Projects announced yesterday that it would be removing caffeine, guarana, and taurine from all of its beverages, including–you guessed it–Four Loko.  Say goodbye to the wide-eyed-blackout-inducer we have come to know and love (although, yes, we realize that the we at the BlogDH must seem to like talking about it a little bit more than the average college students).

Oh well.  There’s always Red Bull.  Somehow it’s just not the same (there’s no alcohol in it…).

Four Loko updates

1. Washington State bans the crazy beverage. I guess all of you Seattle natives will have to stick to the old cup o’ Jo (Seattle’s Best perhaps?) over winter break.

2. Loko maker to halt shipments to NY State. Prediction: Brown students will care about legislation being passed in other states once it begins to infringe on our summer internship drinking habits.

3. Sen. John Tassoni plans to ban “blackout in a can” across all of RI. Those URI students just had to ruin the fun for all of us.

however, let us not forget…

4. Four Loko is still legal here in Connecticut’s Foreskin.  So drink up and get Loko!

Decision Four Loko

Alcohol + Caffeine, Not in Michigan's House // CBS News

Elections have passed, so now we can actually focus on issues of substance. Enter the Four Loko debate. The colorful 23.5 oz can has made several notable appearances on the blog recently, as a handful of American colleges (including URI) have banned the alcohol-caffeine-sugar beverage from their campuses. Nervous college students have been anxiously anticipating what institution would ban Four Loko next. Last Thursday, however, somebody threw a curveball. Michigan (yes, the entire state) decided to put an end to anything and everything Loko. The state’s liquor control commission placed an immediate ban on Four Loko and other alcohol-infused energy drinks, such as Joose and Torque. If the orders of banning magnitude continue to multiply at this rate, it’s only a matter of time before the FDA finally gets involved and reaches an ultimate verdict. For now, all you Loko heads better stock up because forecast says Loko’s shaping up to join Sprite Remix in beverage heaven.

URI bans Four Loko

According to the Associated Press, The University of Rhode Island has become the latest college campus to ban Four Loko.  Lets hope that this movement to ban the drink stays in South Kingstown and doesn’t spread its way up College Hill.

We here at BlogDH know it may seem like we are obsessed with Four Loko, but, c’mon- who on this campus isn’t?