The ultimate guide for incoming [So]Californians

californians

“Why is everything ‘problematic’? Didn’t we just pass a Dunkin’ Donuts? WHERE IS THE 101?”

Welcome, Californian* freshies! And fret not, my pretties, for while you have entered the realm of brazen taxi drivers and actual seasons, the East Coast is a happy little place, albeit quite different from your home back West! You may have already noticed some striking differences, and perhaps some subtler ones. Certainly, we can all agree that the vibes are mad different. The disparities might not be as apparent while you are on College Hill; Brown nicely accommodates people of all backgrounds and origins— I mean, c’mon, it’s Brown. Venture out of the bubble, however, and things become rather odd. I will do my best to try and help you navigate this new land and become familiar with some common trends.

*Let me clarify that I am in no way negating Northern California’s existence. As a SoCal native, my knowledge and advice is limited to my home turf. No discrimination here.

Prepare to dismantle stereotypes, because most of us actually have not met Brad Pitt:

Oh look, it’s not us!

Upon hearing that you are from California, especially SoCal, your peers will most likely ask, “Do you go to the beach like every other day?” “How many movie sets have you stumbled upon?” and “So if you’re from California, why aren’t you tan?” It’s like they expect everyone’s lives to be an ongoing episode of The Hills. Sadly, though, this is real life, not an excellent TV show. Most of us don’t really go to the beach that often because traffic is a bitch, sand is an even bigger one, and let’s face it—we’re caught up enough in our busy lives as it is. After all, college tuition ain’t gonna pay itself! Hollywood is nice and all, but it’s always flooded with disoriented tourists and one too many Marilyn Monroes. Beverly Hills is a blast… if you enjoy overpriced froyo and sycophantic store employers.  Continue Reading