First-years: after almost two months, you likely feel less frosh-ish than you did when you got here. You’ve ventured into frats and navigated off-campus parties, you’ve done all the normal illegal things and some legal things that were so out there that they likely should be illegal. You want to keep this amazing experience rolling, but what’s this SexPowerGod thing you keep hearing about? Well, I’m with you on that one.

I’ve tried asking other freshmen, but they had just as many questions as I did. This is the biggest dance of the year, and despite its politically correct message, it sparks endless controversy (maybe it has to do with the barely-clothed promotional posters?) and raises a lot questions and concerns. Before I jumped through the hoops to get my name on the guest list, I decided to act as a liason for the freshmen class and ask Blog’s sex guru Monica Bruinsky for the real deal on SPG. Here are some frosh expectations compared to the upperclassmen realities: [Read more →]

People tend to have one of two distinct attitudes towards their freshman roommates:  either, a) “Yeah, I like my roommate” or b) something along the lines of “I have a sneaking suspicion he/she keeps a voodoo doll of me under his/her bed.”  Obviously, something is wrong with the latter attitude, but don’t dismiss the complications that could arise from the former.  Living with someone is a very sensitive and often awkward thing — if it weren’t, then there wouldn’t be so many damn TV shows about it — and being good roomies takes more than mutually liking each other.

I happen to have the ideal relationship with my roommate.  She likes to be out a lot, I like to be in a lot, and she hasn’t found the voodoo doll under my bed yet. In fact, our roommate experience is going so well that we are already considering rooming together next year.  Not everyone can have the perfect roommate, but making an effort to be considerate to your living partner while respecting your own needs is essential to enjoying your year. Sure, there are a lot of expectations that are laid out on that yellow piece of paper, but there’s more in the “Hey, we are living together” conversation than what’s included in the Roommate Contract.  I know that the yellow slip of paper is strategically hidden in the bottom of your recycling bin under to-go boxes from the Ratty and receipts from Spiritus, but here are aspects of the roommate experience that you simply can’t address in those “Yes,” “No,” and “Ask” boxes:

• Use of the mini fridge:  You and your roommate should discuss what portion of the fridge is set aside for alcohol — you don’t want to make your roommate uncomfortable when they are trying to finagle their leftover Jo’s between your two handles of Svedka. [Read more →]

As a freshman, the meal plans at Brown can be confusing. Like, really confusing. In the words of wisdom from my senior friend: “Get the Flex460 plan. I could explain it, but I won’t. Just do it.” Though I feel like I have come a long way since my pre-frosh days—I finally know how to stumble back to my dorm on Wednesday nights make it to my classes on time—I, for the life of me, cannot comprehend the multivariable calculus that is the meal plan system.

When I’m coming home in the wee hours of the morning (1 a.m.) and am looking for some pizza from the Gate, I can hardly tell the difference between left and right, let alone credit and points. After starving from studying all day in the Rock, how are you supposed to make a calculated decision about the best meal option? Screw it—say what comes to mind first, and hope for the best.

Once you overcome the first obstacle (or come to terms with never understanding the system), you will realize that you are just embarking on a journey full of choices. What type of food do you really want? You can go to the Ratty, V-Dub (can someone please confirm it’s going to start opening on weekends?!), the Gate, Jo’s, and many others. The possibilities truly are endless (like the lines in the Ratty). Be wary though, each location has different hours of operation and payment methods. Word of advice to fellow frosh: Check out the Brown Dining Services website, Brown Menu, or our sidebar (on left) for details. They’re a godsend.

But for those of you who are too lazy too busy to click on that extra link, fret not, for­­ I have compiled a list of my go to quick and easy ways to most effectively use your meal credits around campus: [Read more →]

This dude was in the Olympics.  Really!?!

Recently, I was sitting and examining my food in the Ratty when the topic of going to the gym came up. Like most freshmen conversations, it took a few minutes for everyone to agree on 1) the terminology for the discussion (is the OMAC the same as Nelson and is there a name for the one in Keeney?) and 2) the actual location of what we were talking about (is that where they had the club fair?).

For me, the discussion seemed entirely irrelevant because I do not plan to go to any of those. But then I heard someone say something along the lines of, “I can’t go to that one, because it’s really far and everyone there is really intense about exercise. There will be like, a grad student of environmental science running 5k way faster than I could do 1.”

Me: Wait what? I don’t even recycle.
Other person: How is that related?
Me: Like, I don’t really exercise and obviously I don’t have a PhD but like I don’t even recycle.
OP: But like I’m not sure all those things are in the same category?

My point was, of course, that a lot of people on this campus aren’t just smart; they achieve things. They live organized, balanced lives. I have difficulty with the door to the SciLi after 10 p.m. I think a constant sensation of the beginning of freshman year is: Woah, how do you have time for all that and pregaming?

[Read more →]

I’m not an overweight brunette woman. I have not had an extensive career in Nickelodeon programming. And no, I have not gotten hammered with the guys in Workaholics. In short, I’m no Lori Beth Denberg. But I do have some vital information.

Everyday, you will confront a class in which you, or the more attentive among you, will participate. A quick answer to a short question is always a good way to show the professor you care about looking like you care. A brief question during a history teacher’s class ending Q&A session is also perfectly fine. But, when you begin your sentence with “Steven Jay Gould would disagree with Plato on this point…” in your intro philosophy class, you might as well put a “kick me” sign on your back.

The chart above shows accurate data, collected for Econometrics I by someone who decided to vagabond it. One last note: Econ is a bell curve because…everything in Econ is a bell curve. Yes, high school class valedictorian, even your grades in Principles.

Let’s admit it, college movies never succeed at depicting realistic levels of…fun. Drake Bell, may his career rest in peace, starred in College, which, while absolutely devoid of laughs, actually made a solid attempt at detailing the amount of student fun. I mean, fun is something everybody had in high school, at least in small amounts. Some small town police were more like fun police, which many would argue is just ridiculous.

The fact of the matter is:  most roommates just want to have fun together.  Whether your fun comes in a plastic container or smells like god’s vagina, you will likely be able find a partner in crime in your roommate. People down the hall will obviously join in the fun. And then there will be a party, with lots…and lots…and lots of fun.

Only recommendation from us would be to keep the volume down and become buddies with your RC. In the best case scenario, your RCs not only ignore the fun-having but also join in the fun on occasion.

Up next: The Office inspires some of the greatest ice breaker/time wasters of all time—and you don’t even need a computer!

Image via.

Now THAT is a scarf.

Every castle must have its king (or queen…or phetriarch…) and Brown, despite its loyalty to free thought and vegan activism, subscribes to that rule.  As the first class to begin Brown in a Ruth-less environment, a key part of your orientation is understanding who will serve as your very own Chancellor Palpatine (we’re talking pre-Naboo crisis Palpatine) throughout the next years of your lives.

With this in mind, do not miss the first freshman address tomorrow afternoon from Christina Paxson, Brown’s newly-appointed 19th president, author of a questionably hilarious study on height, and owner of a kickass shirt design. She’ll be addressing the whole university on Wednesday, but you get VIP access to her at 2 p.m. on the Main Green, during what will hopefully be a classic Rhode Island Sunday afternoon. Do yourself a favor and take a break from comparing Parisian travel plans and SAT Subject Test scores with that guy from Harvard-Westlake and open your ears to a new voice. Will her remarks stray too far from the template set by every university leader throughout recorded history? Probably not. Will she pander to you with some empty-chair performance art? Hopefully. At the very least, consider this: it’s a bonding moment. You’re brand new, she’s brand new. D’awwww.

So, you’ve moved in and unpacked your Tide to go and blue tape. You’ve kicked your parents out of your dorm. You’ve had your first tepid, overly-peppy and accommodating conversation with your roommate. Congratulations on (sort of) starting college! Now it’s time to actually interact with at least a small percentage of the 1,500+ people who are your classmates. Daunting? We know; we’ve all been there.

[Read more →]

It’s that magical time of the year: when you realize your time at Brown is winding to a close wide-eyed pre-frosh experience Brown for the first time. But we can’t throw the admits onto the middle of the Main Green and expect them to figure out what SPG, CFF, AQR (yikes), and Spicy With mean by themselves, can we? So here’s a list to guide you through guiding them (with appropriate meme visual aids):

Don’t: Sexile your hostee. Don’t have sex with your hostee. Just… no. Not cool. Also potentially illegal. Note: If they sexile you, take it like a champ. Crash next door, fist bump them in the morning, and then wash your sheets. Twice.

Do: Take pre-frosh to an arch-sing. (As a side note, there are twelve arch sings Monday night: arch sing challenge, anyone?)

Don’t: Hand pre-frosh a joint. [Read more →]

The Beast

Staff writer Jason Hu decided to try the Ratty Challenge last Saturday for science and shitsandgiggles. To read the first half of his journey of self-discovery/self-loathing, click here. 

3:30 – 4:30: Everything is sticky

I feel gross. After too much time in the Ratty, or any dining hall, you are covered with a thin layer of sticky. Grease? Aerosolized onion rings? The accumulated BO of a few hundred college students? Who knows? Either way, I feel like the Ratty tables. I never thought I’d learn how to empathize with a piece of furniture.

I went outside and it smelled funny: I couldn’t tell whether it was because I was smelling fresh air or because it smelled funny.

It’s like being at the CIT too long.

Either way, I’m going to go start homework. Eventually. Maybe.

Things overheard: “Sober at the Ratty buh, buh, buhbuhbuh.”
One conversation which went through cafeteria Judaism, reasons for vegetarianism, and Chinese imperial history.
“I didn’t know they had cities in Africa!”
“Would you rather give up all cheese or oral sex for the rest of your life?”
“Lana del Rey might be a drag queen.”
CS22 Problems finished: 2.5
Orgo progress: 0 percent
Food quality: 8/10 (Eggplant Parmesan and Black Bean Patties? Yes please!)
Cumulative bathroom breaks: 3
Duration I’ve had “We Are Young” by Fun stuck in my head: 27 minutes [Read more →]