SNL’s Stefon’s guide to Thanksgiving!

There are plenty of things to be thankful for this holiday season. We can be thankful for points, teachers canceling class, Blue Room muffins, study rooms in the Rock, BlogDailyHerald (shameless self-promotion), seasonal facial hair, peppermint mochas, holiday cheer, home cooked meals, hockey players, and most importantly…STEFON’S RETURN TO BLOGDH. SNL’s Stefon (or me pretending to be Stefon) is back to give you a heads up about all the hottest parties and gatherings that you must attend over Thanksgiving break. Don’t call it a comeback, because Stefon never went anywhere. Cue the music, plug in the disco ball, turn off the lights, and embrace Stefon as he (me) drops some serious holiday knowledge.

The hottest spot this Thanksgiving is…your grandma’s house. This spot has everything: passive-aggressive comments about your lack of significant other, a woman asking “what is Brown again?”, your weird uncle asking if you are gay yet (I AM NOT GAY UNCLE RICKY), that random person who always shows up with an already half-empty bottle of wine, the smell of moth balls, your great-grandfather’s war rifle named “old lucky,” and water-drowned food so everyone at the table can chew it. It is a great time, especially if you are looking for a place to butcher saying grace in front of your religious grandma who doesn’t remember that you still can’t do it right: “Bless us…uh…like…O Lord…and for like these uh your dope gifts and whatever, which we are like gonna receive from your…bosom, I mean bounty, hahaha lol. Through you, Jesus guy, our Lord, amen dude.”

The hottest spot this Thanksgiving is…your local underage bar. What better way of setting the tone for a holiday about giving thanks than puking in the back of bar. You, your friends, and your fake ID’s that all say you are 28 and are from North Dakota must head down to grab a drink like adults do! This bar has everything: a pervy bouncer who makes every girl kiss him on the cheek, a kid who looks like Charlie Sturr, a bartender who hates his life, bar mitzvah music, your mom texting you “where are you?,” those kids from your high school who you HATE so much but with whom you pretend to be best friends, that one girl who takes a selfie with everyone, and the smell of Bud Light and sadness. Do not miss out!

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SNL’s Stefon’s guide to freshman parties

Who is Stefon?

Stefon, played by Bill Hader, is a reoccurring guest from the Weekend Update portion of SNL He is a sharp diva, with a dark edge, and hilariously quirky side. He is plugged into (what he thinks are) the best parties in NYC. His plans are odd, unique and always out there. If you do not know him already, watch the video below to get a glimpse of the genius of Stefon, or watch the video below because you love him already. Why aren’t you watching this already? If Stefon were to describe the freshmen party scene at Brown, this is what we think he’d say:

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Brown’s hottest party is…Metcalf 2nd floor lounge. If you and your friends are looking for an unsanctioned, rowdy time, hit up the lounge. To get in just say the password: your SAT score. The party starts at 8:45 and gets shut down at 9:15 by DPS. Don’t worry, just get there early. There is watered down Vodka, beers someone stole from their dad, and some oregano that someone is pretending is weed. Show up fashionably early, and leave fashionably…early?

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A Cool Thing You Shouldn’t Miss: “The Prince of Egypt” screening

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There are plenty of us who could use a refresher course on the story of Passover. How many plagues were there again? Was one of them a Polar Vortex? Fear not, because tonight, Hillel’s Engagement Internship is hosting a viewing of “The Prince of Egypt,” everyone’s favorite should-be-Disney movie (it’s actually Dreamworks Animation… yes, your entire childhood was a lie.) “The Prince of Egypt” chronicles the life of Moses and the events that Passover commemorates, so if you missed the four questions at your family’s seder this week (or don’t know what that even means), go check out this event on the Main Green at 8:00 pm. The movie is top-notch, and features an Academy Award-winning soundtrack with original songs that will make you kvell. Bring a blanket, because the viewing includes a picnic with free chocolate-covered matzo — need I say more?


12 Days of Spring Weekend: Prepare yourselves for What Cheer? Brigade

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The headliners of Spring Weekend get a lot of attention. Diplo is cool and all, but there are those who have been by our side for years on this weekend, and they deserve to be appreciated. No—sorry for the confusion, but we are not talking about Binder. We’re talking about What Cheer? Brigade, who will be returning this year to play early Friday evening on Spring Weekend. Check out their music here.

What Cheer? is a Providence-based 19-piece brass band—in their words, they “require no amplification, proving that great parties need no electricity.” THEY’RE ECO-FRIENDLY! What Cheer? is also the only act to not take the stage. Instead, they gather around Sayles Hall in a blob, and the audience surrounds them. Their sound is really high energy, so be prepared to break a sweat jumping up and getting down. (And breaking a sweat is probably just what we need considering the unclear weather forecast for April 11th.)

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A cool thing you shouldn’t miss: Rock the CASA

Attend Rock the CASA, and make Salomon tu casa for the night.

Tonight is Kappa Alpha Theta’s (a.k.a. Theta’s) first variety show! Come see Rock the CASA, a star-studded setlist featuring Badmaash, Harmonic Motion, Mezcla, and many more campus headliners. The show will take place from  7 p.m. to 9 p.m. in Salomon. Tickets go for $5 at the door, or swing by JWW today from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m.! Rumor has it there will be baked cookies.

All proceeds from the event will go to the RI Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), a non-profit group of lawyers who advocate to relocate abused and neglected children into safe and permanent foster homes. So no, CASA is not capitalized because someone was really excited about a rockin’ house party — it’s an acronym.

If you’re looking for something fun to do tonight, stop by Rock the CASA! You will see an Alef Beats Thanksgivukkah spectacle, Alfie Subiotto’s musically inclined Movember mustache, and of course, belly dancing. And who doesn’t love belly dancing? See you there!

Image via the sisters of Theta.


Approval Matrix: Snow day edition

An approval matrix of fun versus destructivenessJudging from the veritable army of snowmen outside, snow-engineering is the school’s biggest new independent concentration. But because we love facilities for saving the world and keeping the end of days from happening, here’s a handy approval matrix between snow-bound shenanigans and accidentally causing a five-car pileup from a stray snowball.