People You’ll See In Your Lecture

The Stenographer:

This person started typing the second the professor said “hi.” This is the person making that loud keyboard sound ALL THE FUCKING TIME. This person sure as hell is making up facts to make note of because WHY WOULD YOU COPY THE ENTIRE SYLLABUS IF ITS POSTED ON CANVAS??

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Overwrought BBA Posts Part 1

42069- To that girl in the Sci-Li in the pineapple costume on Halloween in 2014:

I was the boy wearing the pizza costume, and I think that says it all. It was love at first sight. The green foliage you wore on your head was what first attracted my attention. From there, it only got better. It’s been four years, and I still can’t stop thinking about you. I would say please notice me, but I know you noticed me looking before you glanced away quickly. Too quickly… and still, your brown eyes haunt my every dream. And whenever I do get to see them again, it really piques my pepperoni… if you know what I mean.

We have mutual friends, but I don’t think we’ve ever hung out. I know you called me crusty, and told your friends you’re not interested… but I just wish you’d give me a chance. Every time I see you with another girl or guy, I die a little bit on the inside. My sun rises and sets with you. You’re the single most beautiful person/pineapple I’ve ever seen. All I’m asking for is a chance. Continue Reading


Sextion: The spring fever hookup guide

SWFIELDGUIDE

BlogDailyHerald is proud to introduce our newest Sextion writer, David Johnson!

The season of the Polar Vortex was all about cuddling, sipping hot cocoa, binge watching “House of Cards” with your significant other, and basically using their body heat to save on your gas bill. Now that it’s getting warmer, the birds and the bees are back, frisky squirrels are chasing each other around the Main Green, and breakups are a dime a dozen (I’m looking at you, Senior Scramblers). In the animal kingdom, we call this mating season. In college, we call it Spring Fever.

Luckily, Spring Weekend is just around the corner — the perfect opportunity for curing our Spring Fever. Now that walking to a party across campus doesn’t feel like March of the Penguins, the tanks are breaking out, and maybe even some shorts. Everyone’s attitude says sun’s-out-gun’s-out, so if you are interested in getting busy romantic, this weekend is all about letting loose and having fun. It’s a great time to break the ice with someone new — maybe even someone you’ve been secretly crushing on. When the options range from Chance to Binder to Fratty in the Ratty, how do you know where your perfect guy/girl will be raging? Use this field guide to find out.

The Hipster Heartbreaker

Found at: Chance the Rapper

The Hipster Heartbreaker is that DGAF kid that you have been crushing on forever. Probably more “Prepster” than a true RISD Hipster, you first saw them while stalking your class Facebook page the summer before arriving at Brown, and since then, they have proved to be even cooler than you imagined. The Hipster Heartbreaker is trendy and intelligent, probably concentrating in MCM or Comp Lit, and has a Georgia O’Keeffe coffee table book in the living room of their Barbour suite. Despite your better judgment, you can’t help crushing on them. They have gone through numerous partners over the years because no one can seem to keep up with them. But you’re sure that you can.

How to spot: The Hipster Heartbreaker is wearing an awesome Spring Weekend tank that you totally didn’t see when you were choosing which one to buy. They have that casually perfect “I woke up like dis” look, making you wonder, “did you wake up like that?? And why the heck can’t I?!” The Hipster Heartbreaker is either wearing a knit beanie or has hat hair (the sexy, pushed back kind) because they just took it off.

How to break the ice:

  • Stand next to them and say loudly: “I mean, my cousin went to high school with Chance the Rapper in Chicago so like… I’ve basically known about him since 2011.”

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Four ways to combat Early Morning Syndrome

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Before you read any further (and I do realize you’ve just started) I must include a disclaimer. If you are an early riser who wakes up with the sun, you will probably not be able to relate to my struggle. If, in addition to being an early riser, you are also completely devoid of any finer human emotions like pity and empathy, stop reading immediately. For this article is meant only for sympathetic ears, and what I am about to share is a deeply personal tale. But it has to be told. I am sure I am not the only one battling this problem, and others who are will draw support from this post and realize they’re not alone.

And now on to the Early Morning Syndrome.

The initial symptoms are subtle, almost imperceptible. A nagging feeling of irritation and animosity when the alarm rings, a growing fondness of the snooze button, and burrowing deeper into bed with each vibrant ring instead of reluctantly crawling out.

The problem only gets worse from there. Your alarm becomes your arch-nemesis, and you sometimes forget that it doubles as your beloved phone during the day just as you begin to contemplate throwing it out the window. The snooze button becomes your lifeline and your rationalization of “just one more time” is eerily similar to other addictions. And ignoring the alarm’s strident morning calls becomes as natural as turning a deaf ear to the professor’s warnings of “no late hand-ins.” Continue Reading


It’s slam time: Brown Storytellers’ Story Slam

Stop ... Slam time.

Ladies and gentlemen, the time has finally arrived for Brown Storytellers’ Story Slam. What’s Story Slam you say? It’s an absolutely hilarious event during which Brown students telling some of their most miserable favorite past times. The Slam will be taking place on Friday, November 16 and Saturday, November 17 at 8:30 p.m. Note: The Slam on Friday night is in Lower Salomon and the one on Saturday is in List Room 110, so make sure to go to the right place! To get all of you excited for the awesomeness that is Story Slam, check out some past stories told by the Brown Storytellers after the jump:

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Leighton Meester helps you with your roommate troubles

We’ve all had experiences with roommates, and inevitably, with roommate problems. Some problems are extreme, like the roommate who never leaves the room except to get takeout from the ratty, or the one who sexiles you nearly every night. But there are also people who have what some might call smaller issues with their roommates. These problems might generally be thought of as petty, like getting annoyed when your roommate messes up your rug and doesn’t fix it or borrows your stuff without asking. Generally, these “smaller” issues concern, essentially, your roommate touching, messing up, or using your stuff.

In this hilarious video from College Humor, Leighton Meester addresses just that. The video is in the style of a PSA, Meester is great in it, and whether or not you actually get annoyed when your roommate, it’s really funny.

And hey, if you do have a roommate who “touches your shit” all the time and it pisses you off, casually email this video to them–subtlety is key after all.

Image via eduinreview.com