Today Furby stared onto Benevolent Street, contemplating what kind of sadistic godhead planned a universe with rain in it. Alas, the weather could not deter him from getting fratty indoors–the golden, carbonated brew providing enough sunshine to make his day bearable. As he stumbled toward the computer to check tomorrow’s weather, he saw that it would be 61° and mostly cloudly. “A-loh may-lah, may-bee doo-ay,” he chirped. That’s Furbish for ‘good clouds, maybe fun.’ He proceeded to pass out standing up, snoring his insufferably loud Furby snore.
…and studying means having a nice long smoke on the benches. As it was Monday night of Spring Week, Furby decided it would be a good idea to pull an all-nighter and write his term paper: “Pelted with Fur: America and Furby at the Millenium’s End.” Now that he’s done, he can enjoy Spring Week as it was made to be enjoyed: perpetually inebriated and not in the library.
As prefrosh piled onto campus today, a slightly more furry (but equally wide-eyed) visitor also arrived at Brown. The plan seemed easy enough: acquire the most infamous toy of the late ’90s, mess around with it for a few hours, and end up with a perfect reboot for BlogDailyHerald’s long-dormant Nostalgia Trip column. But I soon realized Tiger Electronics’ reason for discontinuing the Furby–anyone can exhaust its capabilities in roughly two minutes. It sneezes. It whines. It gets scared when you turn it upside down. It says “yum” when you stick your finger in its mouth. It sleeps if you put it in a drawer. And when you remove its batteries, the fur-covered plastic cone enters Furby-rigor mortis, staring eerily at you with its plastic eyeballs.
Basically the Furby sucks–but then we had an idea: how would Furby spend his Spring Week? Would he sneak a Natty into the Ratty? Would he sing along to Das Racist on Friday afternoon? Would he bro out on Wriston? Check out the Blog throughout the week to see how Furby makes the most of Brunonia’s favorite week.