Calling all meal credits

There are plenty of reasons to be stressed at the end of a semester and BlogDH is here to help.

Do you have two essays due on the same day? Ask for an extension. Boom.

Not sure what you’re taking next semester? We’ve practically filled your cart for you both at Brown and RISD. Boom.

Ran out of meal credits OR have way too many meal credits? Give and get them here! BOOM!

Use this Facebook event to connect with people who need or have too many meal credits! + you’ll get to meet some great new people at Brown along the way. 

 


Things that make us more anxious than they should

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All day, everyday.

Every college student covets the fabled “chill” state, or hakuna matata (it means no worries). The truth is that it’s very hard to be in a state of complete relaxation when you’ve got two midterms on the same day, a problem set due the next, and a long overdue call to your granny who so kindly sent you that card with $20 so you could “buy yourself something nice.” I also think that Brown students are just inherently more sensitive to the most trivial of situations. Let’s consider the following:

The trash bin conundrum

Who knew throwing away your trash could be so stressful? Take the Ratty, for example. You have a trash bin for food scraps only, and a normal trash bin for all other things. Ok, I guess this doesn’t seem like such a daunting task…until you accidentally throw a bundle of paper napkins and your spoon in the scraps bin, and feel like a total planet killer. You might as well deny climate change, while you’re at it!

Trash bins on the Main Green and in the Blue Room are also unnecessary complicated. You’re afraid that the solar compact thing will eat your hand, but your food container simply won’t fit through the tiny opening of the regular trashcan. Oh well, the squirrels will take care of it.

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The best prank calls to (n)ever exist

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The highlight of my Middle School career was perfecting the art of prank calling. I probably could pursue a second concentration in the field with the amount of time that I spent on Free 411 pretending that my cow was in labor or that I wanted to be connected with 1-800-Flowers. While I like to think I’ve put those days behind me, I recently heard about some of the prank calls you can do through Prankowl.com and it’s pretty amazing terrifying.

On top of being able to use the typical prank calling soundboards, you can do what Prank Owl calls the “Operator Prank.” This allows you to enter two of your friends’ phone numbers online, and then the site has these two phones dial each other. To make this even less legal acceptable, you can choose how long you want the phone call to last, and you can even listen to the conversation for as long as two and a half minutes. Let me reiterate that this can’t be legal, but it currently exists.

I began to imagine the best (imaginary) pairs to subject to this prank. Here are some (questionable) ideas for Operator Prank pairs:

1. Gail and Abraham Lincoln. One can only hope it would play like this:

Abe: Four score and seven…

Gail: Hiiiiiiii.

A: Conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that…

G: Hiiiiiiii.

A: Gail? Is that you? Soul Food Night was rockin’.

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Overheard at Brown: House of Cards edition

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Ladies and gentlemen, the time is upon us to indulge in another season of the political behemoth that is House of Cards. Before embarking on your Valentine’s Day binge, prepare yourself for yet another round of chilling quotes. The first season was chock full of ’em. To recap (in a spoiler-free way), I’ve decided to give some of the most memorable quotes a more Brown-centric context. BlogDH presents to you Overheard at Brown: House of Cards Edition:

  1. “I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood.” Most frequently heard after students interact with Gail. Hiiiiii!!!
  2. “I feel like I met the ‘real you’ for the first time right now.” Most common sentence said during the FYS “Who Am I?”
  3. “There is no better way to over power a trickle of doubt than a flood of naked truth.” Uttered by Julian Assange supporters in the Blue Room. Continue Reading

KBerge’s Goodies: Imagined playlists from your favorite campus personalities

To whom do the literati of College Hill twerk it out when the day is done? We’ve not yet managed to hack into President Christina Paxson’s Spotify account (doesn’t exist), but it doesn’t hurt to dream about what she might be listening to whilst blocking out Divest Coal screaming outside her window. Without further ado, here are some spirit-playlists from Brown University’s campus personalities, assembled from ten minutes hours of drunken careful deliberation. Disclaimer: absolutely no evidence exists to suggest that any of these people listen to any of this shit.

1. Dean of the College Katherine Bergeron

(BlogDH) Azealia Bergeron

Lord knows this chick like to get funky. If you’ve had the pleasure of listening to her exquisite interpretations of French chanson, you know KBerge is packing some serious musicality under that asymmetrical hairdo. Her departure this December will leave a gaping wound in the collective booty of Brown University.

  1. 212 – Azealia Banks
  2. Goodies – Ciara
  3. Lip Gloss – Lil’ Mama
  4. Bootylicious – Destiny’s Child
  5. Pass That Dutch – Missy Elliott

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Nutellagate (yes, it’s a thing)

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Today in news you didn’t know could make news: Nutella theft at Columbia University has reached catastrophic highs. Since Nutella became a regular amenity in Ferris Booth Commons (like the Sharpe Refectory, but with more affectation), Dining Services weekly costs have supposedly jumped up by thousands of dollars. Yes, the simple and addictive chocolate-hazelnut spread was disappearing at a rate of about 100 pounds per week (i.e. the amount of weight one could feasibly put on by downing tubs of Nutella regularly). The New York Times claims that these numbers are up for debate, but maintains that students fear that their spread hoarding will limit future improvements in dining services. Colleges have a tendency to make the trivial monumental within the microcosm of campus news, but now the Times has been sucked into a story that has essentially zero connection to Columbia’s Morningside Heights neighborhood, let alone the NY metropolitan area. I guess the relevance is that this whole ordeal makes a good case for Nutella’s drug-like qualities. Nevertheless, I believe this kind of gluttonous thievery would never occur at Brown — could you imagine the look on Gail’s face? Of course you can (see far right).

Image via.