The Bears’ schedule was released today and, after the success of last fall’s triumph over Harvard under the lights, Bruno will host its second ever night game in 2011. While the opponent will sadly not be the pompous Crimson from the north–or any other Ivy League foe, for that matter–the stakes will still be high. The visitors will be the Rams of URI, and the winner gets to host some silverware–the Governor’s Cup–and prove who really is the best team in the smallest state in the union. Kickoff is set for 6:00 PM on October 1st, so clear your calendars now and prepare to get rowdy.

Last fall against Harvard, the evening setting provided one of the more memorable moments for both the team and fans–all 17,350 that nearly filled Brown Stadium to capacity. So get stoked, Brunonians. Fall semester may be months away, but it’s never too early to start putting on the facepaint.

Seems like these days the college process is pretty straightforward. Fill out your CommonApp, write an essay that recounts your hamster’s death and its impact on your decision to take 5 APs during junior year, have gramps write a check a great transcript and with a few mouse clicks you’ve set yourself up for a 1-in-10 chance of Ivy League acceptance. However, this was not always the case. Yesterday, Buzzfeed posted this gem from the Harvard University archives: an entrance examination that’s so personalized it even let the applicant pick 2 questions in the ‘History and Geography’ section!

Don’t expect to find any blank space to write a two-page essay on great uncle Charlie’s life-changing wisdom here. There’s only a series of questions that test one’s mastery of a typical 19th century curriculum: Latin, Greek, History-Geography and several areas of mathematics. Apparently, Harvard didn’t regard Sex, Gender and Society as a necessary part of a rounded education. This test, rather, emphasizes the dead languages and cold facts that everybody knows will nurture one’s ability to think broadly and critically better than silly analysis or worthless discussion of  intellectual and real-world issues.

But in all seriousness, if most of us (or most college students for that matter) were to take this exam, we would most definitely be in alta merda (that’s Latin for deep shit). Luckily, it’s the 21st century and for that, we can all be thankful.

Image courtesy of The Huffington Post

After going four admissions cycles without an early admission option for prospective students, Harvard and Princeton announced yesterday that they will be restoring their early action plans.  Both reinstated programs will allow prospective students to apply in the fall through a non-binding application process.

The admissions offices at Harvard and Princeton announced in September 2006 that they would be eliminating their early admission programs due to the fact that they catered mostly to students from high-income families and purportedly led to increased stress on high school seniors.  In the last several years, however, the early application pool at other universities appears to be skewing less towards privileged students, according to Harvard President Drew Faust.

Cambridge, MA—The men’s hockey team came away with a 4-3 victory over Harvard Friday night, improving its record to 5-5-4 while picking up three valuable points in ECAC play. Bruno trailed 3-2 in the third period, but two goals in the span of only nineteen seconds proved to be the difference, giving the Bears their second win in three games of the new year (they had previously defeated No. 10 Boston University 6-1 in the Shillelagh Holiday Tournament). [Read more →]

Harvard CS students seem to be spending their time on something a little bit different.  Type www.safetyschool.org into your web browser, press enter, and see what page it redirects to.  Welcome to the Crimson life, y’all.

To check out a similar feud on the west coast, enter www.stanfordrejects.com or www.crappyschool.org into your browser’s address bar.  Here’s a hint: both redirect to the main page for a certain state school in Cali that starts with a B and ends with an –erkeley.

Olivier Douliery / Abaca Press

Last night’s episode of 30 Rock (which you can watch for yourself here) featured Queen Latifah as a grandstanding Rhode Island Congresswoman angry about a lack of diversity on NBC. But she didn’t save her insults just for that company. Her character lashed out at many of our favorite people in Rhode Island — including including us!

“Mr. Donaghy, I represent Rhode Island’s 1st Congressional District. It’s a diverse community, from the hardworking moms and dads of Smithfield to the spoiled jags at Brown to the thriving, flourishing Italian criminal community in Providence.”

Spoiled jags, are we? Well! There’s enough diversity at Brown that we’re not all spoiled jags. But the joke’s on her — with midterm elections coming up, we can all “forget” to vote for her. If all this were real, that is.

At least the mafia got called out too.

Brown wasn’t the only Ivy the show’s writers threw under the bus. Frequently recurring joke Harvard took a hit too.

Liz: I don’t know if he’s mentioned this to you a hundred times, but he went to Harvard.
Jack: So we know he’s smart and superb at masturbation.

Harvard, your face is on the phone. Soccer practice is over, and you need to pick it up!

Picturesque, riddled with danger?

While we may beat Harvard at almost everything, they’re ahead of us in at least one category: crime.

According to the Daily Beast, Harvard is the second most-dangerous school in America, and the most dangerous Ivy. Brown came in at seventeenth, and was the third most-dangerous Ivy (after the University of Pennsylvania.)

We’re a little dubious about the Beast’s rationale for its rankings, but we’re still happy to let our friends in Cambridge take this one.

In light of this weekend’s homecoming Brown vs. Harvard football game–the first night game at Brown’s stadium–our friends at the Post- Magazine have come up with a Top Ten featuring “Things Brown is Better at than Harvard.”

“1. Egyptology. Seriously.
2. There are only two Berks in the world. One on Thayer. One on Harvard Square. Ours is better; stomp up Thay.
3. Pembroke > Radcliffe. Even in the light.
4. Rollin’ green.
5. Football.
6. Being well-adjusted.
7. “There are actually several members of the Brown community who wear capes.” –Rachel Lamb
8. Bromance.
9. Nudity.
10. The Babe Ruth vs. The Endless Summers. Come on. Who’d win in a fight?”

Ra Ra Brunonia!

Princeton undergrads work “100-hour weeks” and opt for ” ‘bitchwork,’ ” while “superhero undergraduates” at Harvard create 28-hour days. Evidently, “Harvard kids don’t want to do 5,000 things at 97 percent; they’d rather do 3,000 things at 150 percent.”

For a glimpse of what your life could have been like, check out the start of Princeton’s “three-part series on careers in investment banking and consulting” or this feature on why students in Cambridge are just so busy.

Experts in one article call the nonstop lifestyle “overcompensation.” Others hypothesize that students hope to validate their undergraduate experience.

But perhaps it’s just one big cry for help because they simply aren’t happy.