Eight ways Brown can thrive in the twenty-first century

In the sink or swim world of 2015, you have to be both creative and willing to step on the throats of others competitive in order to succeed. This year, Brown has made notable steps into the future, from breaking ground on a new engineering building and renovating the mailroom, to providing Sriracha sauce to the Ratty. These are great first steps, but they fall far short of preparing Brown for the century ahead. Here are our additional recommendations:

Increase number of Brown-related website portals from seventeen to twenty-five

Dramatization.

Dramatization.

The corporation has talked about growing Brown’s student body by 1% each year to increase tuition revenue, but little has been said about the stagnant number of websites and internet services accessible to Brown students. We need to move beyond Banner, Canvas, GET, PawPrints, EchoCenter, Sapling, Res-Life, Philo, Josiah, Focal Point, Shibboleth, Go, Workday, B.U.S. tracker, IM leagues, Touch.net, JIB, and Brown Connect. Seventeen different portals to accomplish similar tasks is simply not enough. To be a top-tier university in the 21st century we need more websites. At least eight more.

The Blue Room-Mailroom Merger

Blue Room Mail Room

What do the Blue Room and Mailroom have in common? Lines. Why is it that if you want to both get a sandwich and retrieve a package, you have to wait in two separate areas? This merger would both cut costs, and give students one seamless and efficient mailroom-dining experience.

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How to Beat Harvard: Tips for next year’s Homecoming game

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There is no way we’re gonna beat Harvard without horses.

Brown’s football team suffered a demoralizing defeat to Harvard during last week’s Homecoming game. Though the loss did little to dampen the Homecoming festivities, we’d still really like to see our team kick the crap out of Harvard next year. Here I offer some general tips and a few specific plays to help Brown vanquish their foes from Cambridge next year.

General Tips

Use Horses: Harvard kept tackling the Brown players and taking the ball away from them. Mounting Brown’s offensive linemen on draft horses would make it much harder for Harvard to do this. And good luck catching wide receiver Troy Doles once he gets going on his Thoroughbred.

Leave at least two receivers in both end zones at all times: This way, they don’t have to spend as much time running back and forth. Also, giving them baseball mitts or industrial-sized fishing nets could make it easier to catch the ball.

Put more players on the field: There were like at least 100 players on the sidelines. What are they waiting for?!? I bet it would be a lot harder for Harvard to get the ball if that many Brown players were on the field.

Bribe the referees: This one’s pretty self-explanatory.

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What to do this week: September 22 – 28

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Monday, September 22:

Event: The (Dis)United Kingdom: The UK after the Referendum
Time: 5:00 p.m.
Location: Watson Institute

A discussion led by Mark Blyth, Eoin McGuirk and Fiora MacPherson on the recent vote in Scotland to remain a part of the UK and the effects of the decision.

Event: Tales From a Journalist’s Visits to Other Planets: Ken Auletta Lecture
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Location: MacMillan 117

A talk delivered by Ken Auletta, a New Yorker columnist and author of five national bestselling non-fiction books. A reception and book-signing follows.

Event: Guantanamo Bay Teach-In
Time: 7 – 8.30 p.m.
Location: List 110

Presentations by two professors and one post-doctoral fellow will discuss the problematic, ongoing existence of the US military base in Guantanamo Bay. A Q&A and discussion groups will follow.

Event: Students on Israel and Palestine: Perspectives on the Gaza War
Time: 7 – 9.00 p.m.
Location: Petteruti Lounge

Students with various connections to the situation in Gaza will be a part of a panel discussing recent events. Also moderated by students, the event hopes for a big emphasis on Q&A.

Event: IC and GISP Info Dinner
Time: 7.00 p.m.
Location: The Underground

If you’re considering making your own concentration, class, or credit-earning internship, come and learn about the processes from those who know all about it. Plus, food.

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BlogDailyHerald Presents: Brown’s 15 hottest freshmen

Last week, Harvard’s Fifteen Minutes magazine released its list of the 15 hottest students in Harvard’s freshman class. The internet responded accordingly. First, Gawker offered its perspective on the situation, hoping to gain clarity on “exactly what medical steps are being taken to correct their thermoregulatory disorders.” Then, Fifteen Minutes’ parent publication, The Harvard Crimson, released its list of the 14 coldest freshmen at Harvard, satisfying the curiosity of those who desperately wanted to know what was taking place at the “other end of the spectrum.”

The sheer absurdity of Fifteen Minutes’ list got us thinking, too. At first, we were confused. On what basis and/or metrics does one rate another’s “hotness”? Is it their physical appearance? Their body temperature? The degree to which they’re hot and bothered? Determined to apply a similar framework in a Brunonian setting, we went out on a search for Brown’s 15 hottest freshmen, and we found them. Our metrics? These freshmen had to be as toasty as Flatbread Co.’s wood-fired ovens—drenched in sweat, feverish, thirsty, red-faced, and clad in multiple layers.

We now present to you the Brown Class of 2017’s 15 hottest freshmen. (See full profiles after the jump.)

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Sixth Man: Adventures in Cambridge

This weekend, the Brown football team had its first big test in its Ivy Opener at Harvard. Yes, we know that we covered football last weekend, but I wanted an excuse to go to Cambridge for a day  but knew this was an especially important game to write about. After walking around the kind-of-city, I sat down in Harvard Square and enjoyed a pretty good piece of pizza (Nice Slice is still better). I also got a chance to check out the campus, but unfortunately I kept getting swept up by the thousands of elderly tourists who would stop and take pictures at every possible moment. So let’s just get to the game.

Things got started at around 5 p.m., and even though we were at Harvard (boo), it seemed like it would be a good game. Surprisingly, a large population of Brown students had come down for the night, and the tailgate was well-attended. After playing cornhole for two hours, we all headed down to the stadium.

Brown got off to a solid start—we scored the first two touchdowns of the game. There was also a successful onside kick that gave the Bears more momentum. At the end of the first quarter, the score was 13-0 Bears, and it seemed like things would be going our way. That is, until the second quarter started. Our lead evaporated when the Crimson scored 4 unanswered touchdowns. Our momentary glimmer of hope faded away and unfortunately, we were never able to come back. At halftime, the score was 28-13 Harvard. We only scored one more touchdown, in the third quarter, and the game ended 41-23 Harvard. Continue Reading


Harvard students protest Tyga

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After Harvard’s College Events Board announced that hip-hop artist Tyga, known for his hit single “Rack City,” will perform at Harvard’s 2013 spring concert, Yardfest, students took to the internet to express their opposition. Harvard student Leah Reis-Dennis decided to take action by creating a petition late on Sunday night on Change.org. The petition protests Harvard’s decision to invite a headliner whose music “promotes sexism and rape culture.”

According to The Harvard Crimson, within an hour, the petition garnered 400 signatures and continues to attract signatures from students and alumni. The petition currently has over 1,000 signatures. The petition states that “Yardfest without a headliner would be better than a Yardest that amplifies misogyny and violence.”

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