The Hat Manifesto

People often ask me, “Why do you wear that hat?” The hat (which I intend to wear throughout winter) has two large faux-fur ear flaps, a broad brow, lined with fake fur, and a strap (think: bike helmets) to firmly attach it to your head. And now that I’ve tried to describe it in prose I figured I’d include a photo and make this first paragraph useless:

Technically know as an Ushanka

Technically known as an Ushanka

While this hat is apparently the de facto headgear in colder parts of the globe, I’ve gotten some strange looks (and the occasional whispered jibes) sent my way in Providence. But I have also noted similarly attired students around campus. Earlier this month, I had an epiphany – a silent war is raging on campus between the hatters and the hatless, and it seems like the hatters are losing. This is probably all on in my head, but I simply cannot let this matter go unaddressed. Wearing a funny shaped hat is not just an aesthetic choice, it’s a way of life, a better way of life. What follows is a plea for the hatless masses to reconsider their ways. Presenting The Hat Manifesto.

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