You may be a coffee aficionado, or you may be the farthest thing from one, but if there’s one thing we all know it’s that the coffee scene on campus is booming. A walk to your 9 a.m. class wouldn’t be complete without seeing at least ten pallid-faced individuals clutching their coffee cup as tightly as Kate held Leo’s hand at the end of Titanic. Of course, these folks actually won’t let go, because utter calamity would ensue if they were to drop their life support caffeinated elixir. It’s hard out there for someone who doesn’t drink coffee or just isn’t that enamored of it. Long paper-writing nights become excruciating, and early mornings hurt more than missing Super Heavy Petting. After the break, we offer some alternatives to help you keep up with your restless lifestyle, you untamable beast you.